Dating a lawyer?

Yes.

So you have to decide if you could handle this long term if you did become exclusive. You will always be second to work. They have billable hours to get in (quotas really) that they are measured against and rated in terms of qualififying as partner material. So pressure is always on.

There are no 9 to 5 hours, so late nights and weekends are typical and taking calls on the fly from clients and collegues. If you have a lot more time on your hands this may not be a good match for you. Do you know if he’s dating with the possibility of a LDR? Or just looking for occasional companionship. Because I have seen the latter…attorney usually do well dating other attorneys or like professions because they can relate to stressful and long hours.

Women who are not and become housewives usually end up raising the family and carrying most of the domestic burdens.

Hi joyce.

Yes. You will need to be pretty independent, confident and capable of doing your own thing if you want a relationship with a man like this. If your needy and require a lot of his time then you will be miserable. I actually prefer these men because I like space and very independent but majority of women need constant validation and his TIME to feel secure and loved.

Which type of woman are you?

Hi Lane,

I am very independent and busy as well. My job requires a lot of time, too. And I do oil painting, and dance for the rest of my time. I always have full schedule for a week.

So I am not that needy. Dating a lawyer does fit my schedule. It allows me to do my own things.

But i am worried we both do our own thing. Then we will not be able to move forward in this relationship. I really like him. So I want to be his girlfriend. But I don’t know what he wants from me.

Do you live far from each other?

Every date doesn’t have to be an elaborate date or all evening. You could meet at the gym. Have a quick breakfast or coffee. Meet for lunch. A few thoughts…. You could perhaps mention that it would be nice to spend less formal date time doing small things..

Really? Ugh.. I don’t like that. That means he keeps you hanging? He should be fitting into your schedule.. So this means you are waiting on him? Do you ever turn him down?

My daughter is marrying a lawyer…his time is very much at the mercy of clients and billable hours. He was working on Sunday.

Any man will make time for you – one way or another – but with certain professions time is a limited commodity…doctor, lawyer, etc.

You have to determine what is really work time and what is “I am seeing other women” time. You determine that by quality time and are you moving ahead in your relationship.

I say give this man a chance, but if he cancels dates on you, I would not give him more than two passes.

You will go through bouts of insecurity initially because everyone will say “If he wants to see you he’ll make time for you” and that IS true to a certain extent so you’ll have to really be able to recognize if it is in fact work or he’s just not putting forth the effort. Their work load is never ending so with mine we used to get together for yoga or take an hour to hike some trails, sit in the hot tub for 30, things that reduce stress or have some purpose. He became restless otherwise and would think, if I’m gonna be sitting here, I may as well work which annoyed me in the beginning because I live for relaxation so… sacrifices

I meant 35 DAYS, was thinking 3 weeks… EEEEEEk that makes it even worse. Sorry

Joyce, if you are already having insecurities then it doesn’t look good. It is up to you what you are able to handle or not. No one knows u better than you. Me personally, I wouldn’t be able to handle dating a lawyer/doctor. I actually got asked by a guy I knew if I was open to dating a doctor recently as he wanted to introduce me to one but he told me that guy’s life schedule and I know I wouldn’t be able to handle that. So even though the guy was a great guy and rich to boot I said pass. As Lane mentioned, the doctor/lawyer’s lifestyle would fit her really well.

So a lot of ladies can give you advice here but you are the only one who knows if you can handle it or not.

Also what really are you looking for? A relationship? A long-term relationship? A marriage? Marriage and kids?

Well it sounds tough because it seems like he is interested but it also seems like he has that typical attorney self-importance persona. He’s NOT an on-call doctor, to me there’s no reason to check your phone in the middle of dinner. Mine did that one time, so I got on my phone… He wasn’t pleased but don’t piss on me and tell me it’s rain. BULLSH*T do I think your job entails being on demand 100% of the time. I’m willing to compromise if it’s reasonable, but I won’t be played for a fool or taken advantage of. It doesn’t seem like you’ve set proper bounderies. If you choose to continue I would suggest being less accomodating. Seems like the relationship already revolves around HIS life, wants, and needs and doesn’t take yours into account. And these men are highly sought after so I wouldn’t be so quick to assume you’re the only one unless he’s directly told you so. The hickey thing doesn’t mean anything, some women that chase these men don’t care about that bc they’re just gold-diggers with no self-respect. Not saying this is happening, but there’s a reason for all those attorney “jokes”, in more instances than not, they lack in character

I’ve been dating an attorney for 4 years. Their schedule is rough. He takes his work home with him and would be doing paper work until midnight. He is on the phone most of the time, even on weekends since he has his own firm. I’m a single mom and for the past 4 years he probably seen my kids 4-5 times due to his extreme work schedule. Most of the time it’s just him and me. I still long for a relationship that has more time for me and my kids, but he’s showed so much effort into making our relationship work. I have come to the realization that this is how its going to be for as long as I am with him. I still get lonely sometimes, but for the most part when we are spending time together, there’s a love connection.

My advice to anyone who is thinking of dating a lawyer is to go with the flow and see where it goes. Enjoy and if the day ever comes when you can’t accept his schedule anymore, that’s when its time to evaluate the relationship. Be open with him about what you want out of the relationship. Believe me they don’t want a gold digger. So, if you’re not one, you’re a keeper in his opinion. : )