Dating a man 13 years older

So here goes…

Background…
I met my current boyfriend 8 ½ months ago when he came into the office I was working at to do some remodeling. At first, I was like great this is going to interrupt my day completely, my boss told me I had to check on this guy and make sure the work was getting done, etc. It is a small firm and I was the only one there because my bosses had Court that day. So he gets started shortly after arriving, I go out every 20 minutes to check on his progress. We eventually start talking, I can see he is flirting with me, at this point, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so I thought what could it hurt, it would definitely make the day go by faster. He then mentions lunch. I told him I have never been at this specific place and he offers to buy me lunch, I said maybe…

Well he finishes up and comes back to tell me he is done. He offers to give me his number and he would take me to dinner some time. (Being a female, I have read all those stupid things where it told me to give him my number instead and not take his – leave the ball in his court type of thing) so I did this and then asked him about lunch, he said he didn’t have time. I jokingly said something smart-ass and told him thank you but I was okay. He said fine and left, about 15 minutes later he comes back with lunch for me. I tell him thank you, it wasn’t necessary.

Any ways, he left again, I didn’t get his number. My boss comes back, I get his number and thank him for lunch. We text for a while and end up eventually meeting for drinks the next night. He finds out that I am a single mom of two; he tells me he has a teenage daughter, run of the mill stuff. He is 13 years older than me, I have no issues with this whatsoever. (Keep this in mind for later).

We started dating, everything was great. We lived 45 minutes away from each other. I ended up moving closer, texting become fewer and fewer, we still communicate with each other daily, just not as much as I would like. I explain this to him every now and again and he starts showing more attention and then backs off again. I started saying I love you about month 5, he says it but usually when he drinks, I know he cares about me because he tells me that he is crazy about me. I know he is a busy man, working a lot, stressful job, etc., I get that and have no problems there.

My issue and questions lie in when he tells me that he is 13 years older than me and that he is set in his ways and isn’t going to change that he wants me to think about that. Well, I knew all this from day one and I haven’t asked for any of this to change, I am comfortable with all that. My issue is he doesn’t seem to make time for me or call or text as much as I would like.

A few weeks ago we were on the verge of a break up and I stumbled across this forum and started to realized I was being clingy and men didn’t like that so I backed off and gave him space. It seems to work and he is coming around a little more and texting a bit. So my question is, is he really wanting a lasting relationship with me or is this just a “for now” type deal? He is said in the past that he wasn’t looking for a relationship when he met me, that we just happened. He doesn’t really mention us a future, we rarely have sex now (not like we used to and I have to tell him that I want it, before he gives it up!) and has said that he doesn’t want to be a daddy to my kids, which I have NEVER asked him to be. Their dad isn’t active whatsoever in their lives, but I have got this. I am a strong woman and I can handle my children on my own, the only thing I have asked him was to respect my children and realize that if he wants to be with me, that my kids and I come as one package. He treats my kids good when he is around them, which is rarely, but he is coming around more frequently now that I have moved closer and the kids and him do have fun when they are together.

Since backing off, he has told me he loves me twice, he has just dropped by a few times unannounced and has made sad excuses for why he wants to come over. I have told him he can come over whenever and that he doesn’t need an excuse. I guess I want to know if I am wasting my time or if this guy genuinely cares? I have no problem walking away, but this relationship is so new to me (new being I have never dated a guy 13 years older than me). I am in love with him, but I don’t know exactly how he feels?

That is the jest of it.