Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Dating a man 16 years older then myself
- This topic has 30 replies and was last updated 5 years, 6 months ago by
tammy.
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Mahogany
I’m 26 years old & I’ve been dating a 42 year old guy for about 7 months. I lost my father at a young age & I really enjoy dating older men because I feel the love of a father figure. My current guy has taught me so much, loves my boys & supports me. He does have his moments where he thinks he knows it all but if you ask me, all couples go through that. I’m happy & in love!
Emma
“Dating” someone much older when you are young and can afford to waste time is fine. But planning a future together is not wise. Health issues, people have health issues, do you want to become a caretaker before your time? Retirement. You’d be mid your career while he’d be done and wanting to move someone warm. Kids, do you want your kids to have a grandpa for a dad? I am not even talking sex. It declines, abilities decline with age.
You are thinking NOW and in the next 5-7 years. but it won’t b e this way, things would change, and they would change for WORSE for the older party.
Besides at 26 you feel like you’d always be young, it is understandable, but try not to be that naive for too long.
Jenny OG
True. I generally date older men BUT I’m upfront about wanting kids and a man that’s going to be an equal participant in our children’s lives- soccer practices, park outings, chasing them around, etc. I’ve had 2 or 3 exes that are now 40+ *I’m 33, & 1 specifically put on an unhealthy amount of weight and I told him it was a 10% attraction thing, 30% others opinions thing but a 60% future/kids thing that was making me REALLY hesitant about further investment due to his “aging”/ not being as physically capable of a man my own age. I’m looking to build a life TOGETHER. The positives about older men is that they’re established but you gotta be careful that they’re not so far ahead that you’re just being added into THEIR lives instead of building YOURS together.
anon
i am 43 and I’ve seen this play out too many times. My girl friends dating men close to 60 and my male friends dating girls close to 30. It always has the same outcomes.
Women goes for much older men for financial security, the life he has established, house, cars, a large salary with which to treat her etc. Men goes for much younger women because of their fascination with youth and beauty.
It’s not true love. It’s what the other has to offer.
I’ve known some of these relationships to work 5 years. But not longer.
In the end, the 2 people are in completely different times in their lives and has completly different needs.
a woman of 24 and a man of 40 may work for a while. but when she is turning 30 she wants kids. he is 46 and doesn’t want a kid who hits varsity when he’s 62 and supposed to be saving for his retirment.
by the time she is 40, young and energetic and established and wants to start travelling etc, he is 56 and no longer wants to go out each night.
when he is 65 and wants to spend his retirement travelling, she’ll still be working daily. and when she retires and wants to travel and explore with her partner, he’ll be 81 or dead
i have not seen one relationship with such a big age gap work out ever
Nichole
I am 27 dating a guy who is 43 and it all started with a blind date set up by my sister and her boyfriend. We became good friends and eventually worked toward a relationship.none of my family approve but he treats me well and we have so many things in common and similar personalities so it seems to be working out well. This is my first serious relationship and I only tried to start dating about a year ago.
tammy
so what is it that you are asking?
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