Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Dating a man who is the only child
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Marcus.
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Hilary
Hello,
So I’ve noticed that lately I’ve been dating men who are the only child. I find them to be a bit selfish and self-centered. They rarely ever ask questions or seem to be concerned about what’s going on in my life. It’s always about what they’re doing or have going on. I find our conversations are dull and boring. Do any of you ladies have experiences with dating a man who is the only child? What was it like? Did it last very long?
Jamie
Actually the last guy I dated was an only child and he was everything you said. Boring, not really into asking questions. He had dozens of friends though and that’s all he seemed to care about. Just hanging out with them and getting high and being kind of a lousy date for me. Didn’t last long he stopped talking to me out of know where, no goodbye nothing. I’m sure not all only child’s are like this lol.
Tara
I was actually engaged to an only child. He was incredibly self-centered, narcissistic, and spoiled. What put the final nail in the coffin was his mother…..she couldn’t let go of her control over him. She was a sweet woman but, IMO, too dumb to see how her controlling ways will kill any relationship he has.
Hilary
Jamie, its so funny that you mentioned this the last guy I was dating had lots of friends also and he would rather hang out with them than me. I think hes doing the slow fade because we haven’t spoken at all in almost a week. I don’t think they’re all like this either but so far I’ve met a bad batch lol
Hilary
Tara,
I find that the ones I’ve dated were very spoiled also. They didn’t really seem to care about family that much either, besides their immediate family. I’ve heard horror stories from friends about how dreadful their mothers can be. :(
alia
I’ve had experience with this, too. An ex, who finally heard me 6 months after break up. However, his mother was wonderful, I really miss her.
Anny
I am dating an only child guy( making it is worst he is from asia) . We have been in the relationship for 6 months and he started to change completely different. I really like him but he is really much self centered and selfish. At first , he would allow me to sleep over at his place but later on he would not allow me to do so. He would send me home after we had sex .I found this is really hurting. Last time when we had the worst fight , and we broke up and then he came back and said he does not want break up . But he placed a ban of intimacy on me for 2 weeks . This is too much horrible. I dont know why i keep going back to him. He is totally a disater in term of loving and caring in comprision with my ex but others parts like ambitious and carrer he is better. I dont know how long I can take it but this is pretty hurt
Nellie
But I also dated a man (more like a boy) who isn’t an only child but boring and self-centered, kept talking about himself and his ex.
I don’t really see the correlation.
Missindependent
Yes, I have a child with a guy who is an only child 11 yrs older than me also. He’s 40 and very selfish/ self centered never ask how I’m doing or wanted to spend time or take me out he would go out to bars with friends then wanna come to me after for sex. Smh he was the first and last guy i would ever date that’s an only child.
MsAqua
My last 2 boyfriends are both the only-child.
Parents divorced in both cases, both a couple years younger than me.
The one was a bit selfish back when we were a couple of 20-somethings, I put it down to immaturity. He remains one of my closest friends to this day, and as he got older, I saw less and less of that. He also happens to be one of the sweetest, gentlest, most caring guys I know, big on family. His mother is awesome.
The other one is my most recent ex, we were together for almost 6 years, broke up last year because I didn’t want to settle down/get married. He is none of those things, not a narcissist, not selfish, not self-centred … he however is a bit detached from family though. His mother is an alpha female. Both of them can be slightly cold/detached (I share the trait). His mother’s bf is a very warm man. His dad too.
Not saying only/youngest/middle/eldest child syndrome isn’t a thing, I do believe that certain characteristics can be attributed to those individuals (I certainly have “eldest child” traits – very serious, responsible etc), but it doesn’t mean everyone fits the stereotypical mould.
Amy S
Ha well the last guy i dated was as selfish, self absorbed, cold, uninterested as you could get and a bit of a narcissist and he was the oldest of seven. Lol x
ifeoma
Am currently dating an only male child, initially l he do talk about himself alone sometimes but with time when he started been relaxed and free in the relationship he started opening up to me. he is the most caring guy I have ever met,loving and all you can asked for in a guy.he is my best friend, soul mate and all in one. He is not afraid of taking care responsibilities unlike the other only child. in fact I can’t asked for more. All this factors depends on the way the person is been brought up and also the kind of environment he grew up in. If an only male.child come to you accept them with all your heart because these depends on the person involved
Maria
it all depends on a family, and on the mother, and on a person’s individual character, but some generalizations do apply, so no harm to be mindful of that.
I am also cautious about guys who grew up with 2-3 brothers and no sisters. They are usually rough emotionally, not very open, not romantic and impatient when it comes to all those “female” things.
Wayne
Im an only male child.
So far, most of what I’m reading here, accurately describes me.
I love living alone. Can’t imagine coming home to someone every day. Especially, the same person. I enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with nobody being here but me.
Don’t care to listen to how bad her day was at work. Or what’s going on with her relatives. I just don’t care.
Two consecutive days is about all I can spend with a woman. After that, I need one of us to go home.
I have several long-time married friends. For whatever reason, they all admire my lifestyle. Which always makes me wonder, why the hell did you get married in the first place then?
I am fully aware that I am self-centered and selfish. But I’m okay with that. It’s me. Still, there’s never a shortage of female company. Or some female trying to change me.
Ladies, believe me when I tell you, you are never going to change a grown man.
If I had a dollar, for every woman who’s try to change me, let’s just say, I have a lot of dollarsJunior
I dated an only child. He always asked me questions about my day, life, everything. He would buy me useful presents to take care of me.
The problem was he hated to be alone, so much so that he started to date others while we were exclusive. When we first met, he was living with his fiance, and his mother asked me for my number to give it to him so he can call me so we can have a “friendship”. I told her that is wrong. She only cared about making her son happy.
So there are issues with only child males.
Ashley
Yes every one that I dated!
jane
My worst experience in dating was with an only child. Selfish, narcissistic, insecure, judgemental, hateful.. all on top of that, threw incredible tantrums when he didn’t get even the smallest thing he requested. He would constantly yell made up stuff just to win an argument. I generally stayed at his place and whenever I asked him to stay at mine, he would put me through the biggest hell trip until we both went to work the next day. The worst part of that was how there was no backing out- once he was in a crumby mood, I had to be the stress ball to take it.
I hear horrible stories from friends and family about only children (men and women.) It’s one of the top red flags for me.Maria
Both my ex husband and my most recent ex were only children. Both really wonderful men — who were very independent, like their space, and tended to make decisions on their own. Didn’t really bother me, because I’m pretty much the same way I guess. Oh, and my ex husband hated to share food — which was just kinda funny to me.
Marcus
I’m an only child and some of what I read is true to a point. I do not have a good relationship with my Mother. In fact, the last girl I brought home, she totally humiliated her. My relationship with my mother has been strained for years and I think this was payback for my Mom against me. I don’t think I’m self centered and I too and getting better at learning to compromise. Throw in the fact that I’m a Scorpio and it doesn’t make for a good combination. I would agree that my imagination does run wild but I’ve learned to control that over the years. However, my emotions are hot and cold. That’s not the only child but the Scorpio in me. I don’t need to be with a lazy person because I can do things for myself but I also don’t want to do everything for someone else who’s capable. I don’t need help because I’ve been doing things for myself my entire life. I do enjoy the quite of coming home to an empty house but it gets lonely. However, I don’t always envy my married friends. I would like to find that right person to settle down with. Someone who wants to put our relationship first because I’m willing to do the same. I don’t want all of her time and attention but I need to know we’re first. So maybe I am self centered and I just don’t know it. I once read a blog and heard all of the OC horror stories. I didn’t get everything I wanted growing up. My Mom worked for American Airlines and we did a lot of traveling. For that I’m grateful to have visited some amazing places. What I have in life I worked hard to get and I don’t mind getting my hands dirty. Just looking for that right person. Not sure if she’s out there. I can tell you from this only child. I do not need my parents approval to be with the person I think is special.
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