Dating a single dad

I would never date a man with kids because of the reasons listed by the above poster. You will never be his number 1 priority. There will certainly be baby mama drama. You’ve got to deal with the hassle of him deciding if/when to introduce you to the kids. Your schedules will be severely impacted.

I’m also not someone who wants to have kids; I consider them to be more of an inconvenience in life so I wouldn’t want to date someone with kids.

I don’t think you should be focusing so much on “success stories” per say. It’s just unrealistic. All personal experiences, yes, but just remember it’s all subjective and you’re very unlikely to have the same outcome as someone else.

No experience, but I have enough 3rd party observation to say this much.

First, you’ll never be “number one” to anyone but yourself.

Children, SOs, parents, siblings, career…all priorities of different kinds, and you’ll have to navigate them whether he’s got kids or not.

To that extent I agree with kimf.

This where I agree with Gemini and Sarah.

Relationships work two ways. Kids must be a priority, the childless partner must be a priority. For some reason only the first condition is obvious to people, and childless women accommodate “kids first” until they either silence their needs or mold them around his children…big mistake. If you need family introductions sooner, don’t convince yourself you can hold out a year. You’ll just get resentful and waste time. Just because he’s doing the right thing doesn’t make it right for *you.*

A single dad l dated practically tricked me into meeting his kids – way too early for me, when l ended it a few months later, he tried to lay a guilt trip on me that his kids liked me so much!! Just urgh – grown up kids or none, its not worth the hassle.

If you’re looking for a ‘success story’ I guess you could say that’s me. My bf and I met online and have been dating for nearly 7 months.

If you have questions and want to take this offline, let me know. I’m happy to share!

I think dating a single dad can be good or bad depending on the situation and the type of person he is.

I am currently getting to know a single dad of two, he gets along with his ex and he sees his kids every 2nd wknd. I usually don’t text him too much during those wknds as I respect the fact that he is spending time with them. He also goes to all their sporting events which I think is amazing.

I don’t want any kids of my own due to a very painful situation I went through when I was 19. I will however love my partners kids and give them what I can of myself. I will never feel jealous or resentful for him making them is first priority, it shows that he is a good man and a good father. That he has his priorities straight.

I haven’t met his kids yet as we are only in the beginning stages of getting to know each other. But I find that he opens up more and more about his life and his kids. He also likes the fact that I also ask about them and ask about their sporting events etc. I would like to meet them once we are officially a couple as I think it is necessary for them to also be okay with me should I stay in their dad’s life. I wouldn’t try to trick them into liking me, I would just be myself and let it happen naturally.

I am currently dating a man that I am head over heels for. I have know this man since I was 22 yrs old.. I am now 32. We started off dating off and on , when we 1st met. After 2 yrs or so we went our sperate ways. It wasn’t until close to 8 years later that we found are way back to each other. So since Januray, life has been pretty good. Yes we have days that are not so good, but somehow we talk and work they them. No such thing as perfect.The relationship is now more mature and we both are committed to us. I always knew about the kids. I knew he had 2 boys from his previous marriage , and now I recently was told about the daughter. She was raised by her grandmother because her mom (his childhood fling) left her. He didn’t know he had a daughter until she was already in her teen’s. Since knowing of his daughter he has taken her in and been trying to make up for lost time. I wasn’t around when he found out about her. So it’s been 5-6 yrs now that she’s been back in his life. From what I see and hear she is a difficult person. She loves her biological mother and has always wanted and you’re in for a relationship with her but I believe that the mother is not really wanting to be a mother she still has parting ways always out . Pretty much the mom is only a mom when it’s beneficial to her when she gets what she wants from you she kicks her out so pretty much it’s at a daughter yearning for love that show never really have so my boyfriend overcompensate for that because he loves his child and I don’t think you want to protect her from anything and everything . And she knows this.. So as a child at 22 she spoiled. He bought her a brand new Rang Rover, pays her rent, and recently her biological mother calls to convince her to move to New York. Okay I was happy to hear that so we had to break the lease send the car she don’t want the car, it’s just been everything about her. She’s in New York in soon we get a phone call on the problem started coming now she’s complaining that her mom doesn’t love her and care for her she just wants a relationship with her mom her mom has no desire to want to so I guess hearing this you feel sympathy torture you feel sorry for her because no child should have to go through that but I also think that that’s also something that she takes advantage of the situation and she knows that Daddy will drop everything and come get me! He overly compensate to the point where I know she take advantage because she know she can.. You can pretty much say she’s spoiled. He loves all his kids. A great dad. I never met his kids because he is extremely protective over them. He has never brought any women to meet them because after his divorce he only dated casually.. So he doesn’t even have the tools to know how to transition from being a single dad, to being with a women who accepts that he has kids and they mean the world to him. I know it’s never easy in any situation specially when it involves kids. I know it’s a sensitive subject. His daughter moved here to California to be closer to her dad.. So when I came back in the picture I came in not knowing it was going to be so hard to date him. In our day-to-day life it’s so simple and easy I have a full-time job he has a full-time job and also together we have a business.. We do well together we love each other it’s always a committed loving relationship. Well recently I’m challenged with his daughter and her little distress.. It always seems like she is acting out. I don’t want to pass judgment but from the sideline I can only base this on what I see and hear when she calls her dad. I stay quiet in the background. She is a 22 yr old lady but doesn’t have any social skills.. He is so opposite of that and I know he’s trying to work her through it and be a supporting as he can I know he also is very guilt driven so a lot what he does is overboard. I guess that’s just what comes with being a parent. I get it. But what is really getting under my skin is he has to cater to her needs so he has to’s pretend he doesn’t have a girlfriend.. When I ask he says that he doesn’t want her in his business. That she’s not ready to except that he has possibly another woman in his life. She didn’t get along so well with his ex-wife when they brought her in provided her shelter after a while they will cross paths in the hallway and didn’t even look at each other that started a rift between him and his ex-wife mother remarried in so that’s how pretty much the divorce became official. Many other factors I’m sure the lid to the divorce I was in there so I can’t pass judgment as well. In in this case I’m trying to be patient and understanding but I just see how she runs him and it hurts me because I love this man so much and he such a giving gentle hearted father that I just hate to see his daughter take advantage because she know she can. What do I do..? The issues I have is I am going to always come last.. Okay I can accept that because it’s for his kids.. It’s not like he’s asking me to come last for another women.. Oh no never! But please help me understand if it’s right that he wants to protect us from his daughter.. He says in due time we will all meet but he doesn’t feel obligated to tell her anything personal in his life because she’s a child. He doesn’t want her in his business questioning him and possibly even having to make him feel like he has to make a choice. I believe that comes from his experience with his ex-wife. He has told me that she pretty much kind of made him when he got so bad that he had to make a choice and of course even as the wife then it became clear that it would be his kids over her.. It’s very clear that he loves his kids but is this too much?

I’ve dated both single dads and guys without kids (I have kids myself).

It has nothing to do with the child. If you’ve been with him for TWO YEARS and he didn’t want you to meet his child, he is not expecting to marry you and he doesn’t think you are good enough for his kid(s). In which case, HE is not good enough for YOU. It’s that simple. In my experience, if he’s into you, and really loves you, you will be involved in every aspect of his life, children included. Maybe not within the first few weeks, but definitely within 6 months (give or take).

Personally, I find the ones in my age range (38) without kids are a. extremely selfish; b. have NO concept of responsibility; c. have no intention of settling down; d. want to continue their “frat boy/college” lifestyle; e. are so desperate for someone they become smothering; or e. all of the above. (Of course there are dads like this too, but for the most part, the non-dads are almost always like this in my experience – I most recently dealt with a smotherer and that was worse than any of the other options!).

Kids definitely throw another complicated element into an already complicated relationship, but a man who truly cares about you is going to make you a part of his entire life. And that is what it comes down to in my opinion.

@ AC I totally agree with you! I ended things with my ex and he’s 38, never been married or has kids and never all his relationships have been short.

I think it does depend on the guy and his particular situation but….I dated a single dad (boy aged 10 and girl 8 when I first met him) and it was never easy. He had one or both kids 3 out of every 5 weekends, meaning he had both, then one, then the other, and supposedly two free weekends thrown in there somewhere. That never happened because they had swim meets or practice every weekend so if he didn’t have the kids he went to the meets or practices anyway. He also had them EVERY Sunday night and also one night a week. Sounds like a model father, huh? Hah! He said that he never disciplined them because they ‘get that at their mother’s house and I want them to come here and think it’s always fun’. That translates into children that didn’t clean up after themselves, nor did they clean themselves….they’d get picked up Friday after school and go back in Monday to school and never shower! Or wash their hair! They had terrible manners, talked back to him, told him what to do and he did it all! He and his ex spoke almost daily, though the way she talked to him was cringeworthy at best. She was remarried with two more kids and couldn’t be bothered with the older two. I adored them when they were sweet, and became very attached, though once I met them I only remember being there one time without them being there too. He was trying to run a business and had little time to entertain them and they watched tv from the time they arrived until they left. I couldn’t stand that so I’d come up with things to do, from going for walks to planting things to doing projects or whatever. I cooked for them, cleaned up after them, jeez when I look back I was just a glorified babysitter playing house with someone else’s kids. I can’t say that it cannot work, it’s just a much larger hurdle to overcome than it seems like it would be. If they were older, maybe it would have been easier but we broke up when the kids were 10 and 12 and there are a lot of years of them being his priority. Like forever.