Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Dating an introvert
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 2 years, 2 months ago by
Maddie.
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Bianca
Hi
So I’ve been with my bf for over 5 months now , we recently got back from a holiday and everything seems fine .
I have noticed from the beginning that he’s got a weird way of asking to see me.
He doesn’t say it directly hey what’s your plan I would like to see , he just comes up with some stuff and hope I will get a hint.
Like we have been planning to go for a walk in the forest which is about 1h drive from where he lives and he keeps talking that he might take his dog but the next day when I ask he says he didn’t go and I know if I was with him he would’ve.
He is extremely introvert, he doesn’t like social events, his idea of good date is sitting at home which I am not complaining about but I don’t understand why he can’t just say I want to see you.
Is he scared I might reject his offer , I know he has been rejected in the past and tbh I don’t say those words to him either.
He told me at the beginning that he would like to see me whenever I am free and in most cases I am the one being busy.Amanda
Hi I would not overthink this. He has never changed from when you first met and he’s not trying to be anything but himself. If I was you I would just take
The initiative and communicate with him when you want to see him or do something together. It is what it is. He sounds like a good
Solid
Person. XAngieBaby
No one here can read his mind. You indicate you know he’s an introvert and you are OK with his introvert ways, so I’m assuming you don’t want to break up. You have to communicate in relationships. Just tell him that you’d like it if he would ask to see you rather than dropping hints and ask him if there’s a reason he doesn’t like to do that so you can find a way that works for both of you.
Maddie
Agree that communication is key, and also being okay with taking initiative on plans. If it will bother you to have to do that, first say what Angiebaby recommends to see if that puts him more at ease making plans sometimes. If not, you need to decide if you’re okay with that dynamic going forward. My husband is introverted and he didn’t make the very first few plans when we started dating, but he’s excited to do pretty much anything suggested. He will take initiative on planning certain every day aspects of life for us which is really helpful, but I still probably make 75% of going out / socializing / travel plans. Which I’m okay with because he’s very easy going about it and it doesn’t mean anything other than it comes more naturally to me to say hey, are you interested in doing the thing that sounds fun? It was never an issue of fear of rejection on either side, he always initiated reaching out and escalating the relationship. But for making plans, it’s just how he is and how we complement each other as a team. But everyone needs to decide what they are okay with for themselves, some women probably wouldn’t like having to make plans as often.
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