"Dating" for 10 years and still not engaged/married!

Sounds like he has no plans of ever marrying you. Truthfully, you’ve made yourself a “wife” in every other sense so what exactly is inspiring him to step up and commit to you officially?

This is something that should have been discussed long ago and you should have set a timeline in your mind for how long you would wait before moving on; I think 2-3 years is long enough, any longer than that is really pushing it. 10 years… Yeah I don’t think it’s happening.

You’re not satisfied with this clearly so you need to let him know that if he has no intention of marrying you then you need to move on and find someone who will. Starting over is hard but it’s better than staying in a dead end relationship. This relationship is as good as it’s going to get right now so if you’re not happy with it, leave.

I agree. You are making his life easy. If your goal is to get married, have a serious conversation about it and be willing to leave. Most guys need this pressure to get married. If this is important to you, think about it carefully. Don’t waste your time with someone that can’t reciprocate.

He does not want to marry you. Plain and simple… Que question is, what do you expect from him?

Please run , don’t marry alcoholic – he knows better than You and he knows reason why he doesn’t want to commit to You – I was married to one for 12 years and believe me when they fail – they fail and loving them is not enough — deep inside he doesnt want to hurt You

Thank you Kaye, I have been avoiding the ultimatum of leave or marry me. I feel like that would be making me “force” him to make a decision. I guess his track record should tell me that he won’t make a decision until he is forced to. Thank you for your comment.

Andrea, I would sit down by yourself and write out your desires and needs and how you would like to see your life in one year, and also in two years. Once you have clear in your mind what they are, let him know. Be open and honest without pressuring him or making him feel bad. He seems flawed. One thing he has done that is positive is he quit drinking, that is an accomplishment, however, I am guessing that their are still issues he hasn’t dealt with. I’m guessing there are for you as well. You said that you aren’t happy with him and feel you are just roommate. I’m sensing resentment on your part and I’m sure he feels it as well. Talk to him, be open, make plans to make your goals a reality. Hopefully, if he does want and is ready for the same thing, he will take the discussion and your cues and step up. If not, be prepared, if you aren’t happy, to make room for someone who will. You are still young, but time flies as we all know….and life is too short to be unhappy.