Dating for 2 and a half months… unsure where he’s at?!

I’m here to tell you to TRUST your instincts – on a couple of things. First, you are absolutely right to give him space and to DEF not bring up ‘the chat’. This is the crucial time period where the man decides if HE wants to move forward. Anything you say or do that could be irksome will mess with his process. A mans biggest concern will always be his freedom, so you focusing on YOU right now – also is best for him so he can decide if you are someone he can see a future with. Because you don’t want a guy that’s unsure about you, do you? Let him be so you can find out how he truly feels.

I also want to validate that women are most of the time correct when they feel something off with their man. But often wrong when they try to guess why. Him not being as affectionate, not being able to finish with sex…. whatever it could mean – he’s not feeling the best, slight new year depression after going back to work from holiday, the existential gloom many people are feeling with the pandemic, so many things. It could ALSO be he’s talking to someone else and starting to lean towards her, or y’all are getting to the point where things are little routine and he’s deciding if he wants to keep going etc. Men are not dumb. They know that after several months they have to sh*t or get off the pot. Women want commitment.

So let him initiate 90 percent! Texts, phone calls, plans. If he goes quite for a week or two – let it be. If he doesn’t act as he has, or do what you’ve normally done thus far like (not being as communicative or not planning a date) just let it be for up to 14 days. If week three is approaching you have every right to check in IF he’s still engaging somewhat, although tepidly, OR if he starts to fade completely.

But trust me. Giving him space right now is a gift. You did nothing wrong. Full stop. A woman can act almost like a psycho and if the man is into her – he doesn’t run away. Whatever you do don’t be all placating or kiss up to him because healthy men want a confident woman. But be warm and inviting, a soft place for him to fall. It reminds him that giving up his freedom is worth it. If he leaves or you have to end the relationship – he’s not your person plain and simple. Best of luck

You really need to not worry about your behavior the other night. When I said irksome going forward I meant pushing a conversation about the relationship or blowing up his phone if he’s withdrawing or taking the lead trying to make plans when he is taking space. We all have things we do that are annoying or whatever – we’re human. But if a man really likes a woman, is open to a relationship, her behavior has to be severe to make him walk away. The times when a man cites something small a woman has done as the reason he’s leaving, are usually when the man is not being honest about something he doesn’t like that the woman couldn’t even help because it’s just her, or he’s just not in a place to be in a relationship at that time. The guy for you will stick around. Focus on YOU right now, and I know that’s hard. But it’s what you should be doing with or without a guy. You got this!

If he does not escalate and commit by beginning feb latest, cut him loose. No need to have a conversation because his actions and words will have told you that he is only interested in companionship.