Did he breakup with me because he has erectile dysfunction?

Yes I have had experience with this. My ex husband had this issue. He had PE from day one and that led over the years to other problems. He went and saw a md and was given a regimen of shots to the penile area that allowed him to keep an erection. Like I said there are treatments, his issue was he took blood pressure medication. Other men I know take either cialys or viagra. So depending on the real cause there may have been a solution. The OP had the chance to talk this through with him when they were together rather than just saying it’s ok. Burying the issue doesn’t solve it. And while this is a heavy topic for men, most will seek out treatment because he wants to please his woman. Sure it’s a plausible reason, but does it really matter at this point? If he really wanted to be with her they would have worked things out when they met up a month later.

@jan

That’s awesome that your husband was willing to see an MD about his issue. He clearly was able to face the issue and admit there was problem. That’s the first step to a solution. Not all men are willing to admit to such a problem. Manhood, ego, etc.

And I Never said it was “ok”. I said I understood and we’ll work something out.

Deep down inside, I feel that, although he never said it straight to my face, that he blamed his inability to get over his ED issue on me. I’m not just saying this because I’m insecure. It’s a gut feeling. It’s like he kept saying it will get better and when it didn’t, instead of saying, hey, I may have physical problem here. Maybe I need to seek help. He decided it must be me. Especially when he brought up how he used to ejaculate fast. It almost like he was comparing how he’s always been to how it is with us. Ergo, I’m the problem. Does that make sense?

Prior to us being together, he hadn’t been in any sort of a relationship for 2.5 years. Non. Zero. Zip. I know that excessive masturbation can lead to ED problems.

It doesn’t sound at all to me like he was blaming you, but you are obviously going to continue thinking that, no matter what we (or he) says, so I’m signing off too.

Hi Lisa, Are you still on this thread? Looks like all of this was over 7 months ago so you’re probably over it by now. I found this thread by googling ‘erectile dysfunction’ and breakups because Im going through an almost identical situation you described.

Now that time has pasted, have you learned anything new from him? Was the ED the main reason for the breakup after all? How are YOU feeling now? Are you relieved to not be dealing with it ( ED) anymore anyway? Thanks for any reply.

Dear Lisa,
Not so long ago I posted about a similar situation. We had the same problem from the start, his responses varied from “thank you for being so nice to me” (when I offered to curl to his back and sleep together after a failed attempt) to apologies of “being so rubbish down there”.
His contact was always going less frequent after each occasion, we did not live in the same town. I always encouraged him, and like you, never commented on the issue. Finally, after sending a slightly erotic message one evening just before a planned meetup the next day, he called me by phone to call the meeting off and to tell that I am a nice woman but he does not feel the spark and he won’t come again. He never dared to look me in the eye and sent me back my favourite DVD that I left in his house by post. I think he told the truth, but the ED probably played a role, as in his mind failure got attached to my person on the subconscious level. There were other factors, I am sure. In one month I had no contact with him, realised that he was not a great loss to me, still grieving but the emotions subside.
On the other hand, I asked a male friend about it, and he said that if he failed at erection with a new date, that would be the last occasion when he would see her. He is in his mid fifties!
In your case the age gap is too big, just heard in the radio that 9 or more years increases chances of a divorce to 80% among married couples.