Did he lose interest? Help!

He is not ready to commit, and it has nothing to do with you. He’s not dealing with his own issues or taking responsibility for himself (“I am working a bunch and have allergies and have baggage I didn’t deal with and you are NOT my girlfriend but why don’t you compensate for my distance by putting in all the effort?”). A lot of dating situations change around the 2-4 month mark. That’s the time people often decide if they want to commit or start playing games and getting into power struggles if they don’t want a relationship but want to keep you on the hook. Unfortunately, I’d start moving on. At best he’ll get scared and pull it together for you, but if you’re looking for a serious relationship you don’t want a guy motivated by fear or laziness, you want one who is ready and excited to commit to you. This early in, the guy should still be on his next behavior, and his best behavior is wishy-washy. It’ll only get worse from here if you stick around and let him make excuses for his own lack of agency.

Unfortunately, you met a guy who is ‘just dating’ to see what’s out there. In a nutshell, he is seeking temporary companionship but is not in the mindset to make any form of commitment.

You need to learn how to weed out these guys from the get go, date 1, so you don’t find yourself in these situations. You do this by asking a couple soft, then a tough question to determine where he’s at such as: “What’s you favorite sport?” (soft) “How many siblings do you have?” (soft) “How long was you’re last relationship, and when did it end?” (tough). You CLEARLY LISTEN to what his answer is such as “We were together for four years, and broke up a few months ago.” A SMART WOMEN would end the date quickly and walk away from Mr. Rebound. Anyone who’s still in breakup territory (for every 5 years, need at least 1 – 2 years to recover) you simply don’t mess with.

If their answer shows they haven’t been in a relationship for awhile (not in Breakup territory) ask a couple more soft questions such as “What’s your favorite sport?” (soft) What’s your favorite Hobby?” (soft) “What are you dating for?” Any answer that isn’t along the lines of “I’m looking for the right woman” then you drop them because if its anything along the lines of “I’m just seeing what’s out there” which in man code means “I’m just dating willy nilly, and going to waste your time because I’m bored sitting at home” A SMART woman walks away.

If a man is looking for something ‘real’ (a relationship) only then should you ask the FINAL question. Again, a couple soft questions such as “How many siblings do you have?” (soft) How close are you to your family?” (soft) “What are your thoughts about marriage?” Very very carefully listen to this answer because if its not anything along the lines of “I’m ready to settle down, and start a family” its a STOP wasting your time dating the wrong guys.

If a man isn’t ready to commit, he’ll tell you but you have to open up the lines of communication by getting him to talk about where he’s at emotionally so you don’t waste weeks going nowhere. He knew from day 1 it wasn’t going anywhere but he was missing the companionship, so you, and many other ladies are just filling his void until such time he’s fully over the ex, and ready (year or more?) for something real.

What do you want out of this and why do you need him to reply? When you answer these questions you’ll be able to figure it out. If it’s consistency and relationship you might wanna date some more guys to have variation and not get attached to this one who isn’t 100% there. If it’s casual, nothing to worry you go on with your life and when re inititiates you decide what to do. Just stop reaching out. I started applying this rule if both sides aren’t hell yeah to meet and get to know each other, I let it die zero effort. You can’t force anyone to date you if they don’t feel it. And this commitment phobia is a myth, invented to make us women more understanding it’s total bulls***. If this guy truly liked you, he’ll be stepping up his game so don’t settle for his crap.