Did He Lose Interest or Am I Overanalyzing

Maybe he is taking time to think about you and whatever you both have. Maybe he is dating other girls since you are not exclusive. If he was the one doing all the initiating then you can send in a casual text and see if and how he respond.

Meanwhile don’t fixate on just this guy and date other people as well.

You could text him “Hey, so I guess this is it for us since I haven’t heard from you. I hope you are feeling better thanks for the great food and the laughs.”

Or just follow your gut and continue on with your life if he texts you great if not we’ll plenty more fish in the sea.

Thanks Z but that sounds more like an ultimatum and given that we’ve been seeing each other for only 3-4 weeks. Is there a way to say something similar without sounding too aggressive? While I don’t want to give an ultimatum I surely want to make him feel I am not feeling good about it. He is a polite man so I am pretty sure he will respond.

You could just text and say hey how was the rest of your week? but i suggest not texting and let him chase you. yes, he probably is dating other girls so you should date other guys. if he doesnt text you by today then i would say that he is not interested or has very low interest.

Done with him? He’s not even a bf. You only had 4 dates!

Hi Lisa,

I understand your concern, in my opinion your point is totally valid. If a guy isn’t showing me consistent or ideally increased interest as he is getting to know me, I would take it as a sign he isn’t that interested. In your shoes, I would take a step back and let him come to you. If he comes around and puts more effort in getting to know you better, then you can choose to pursue something or not at that point. Otherwise, I say make room for someone worth your time! You are worth it!

Do not text him. Let him take his time, he is probably dating others. The less eagerness you show the better it is. A woman texting about “I haven’t heard from you” is eagerness.

When he texts you eventually you can ask him how he’s been doing and ask how he is feeling. You only had 4 days, any kind of “care” is way too soon.

He is slowing things down with you and this is a good thing. You will have more time to get to know him and decide if he is a good BF material.

HI Isabelle, thank you for the advice. Like most others, I have been hurt in the past quite a lot so I am trying to be as realistic as possible. It’s confusing because he seemed to be all about me until this week and even gave me a small gift on our last date.

What I really wish he would have done is told me in our last text, he’s not feeling it which would hurt but at least I could move on. I guess that would be the scenario in an ideal world. My gut is that he wants to keep the door open but continue seeing what’s out there.

Either way, you are right, I am worth a lot more.

It’s my first time on this forum and it is so helpful because the more I pen down my thoughts, I get more clarity. Thanks everyone.

I’m in the exact same situation. What I did was a BIG MISTAKE and I advise you NOT to do this. Basically I messaged him after not hearing from him in 3 days asking him if everything is okay. He replied immediately saying everything was and asking me how I was. Therefore I asked him to call me and he did…. we had a huge phone conversation…. and I had basically poured my heart out to him. He could tell I was distressed over me not hearing from him and soon after I felt needy and insecure. He promised me he’d contact me more but I still regretted what I did. What I wish I HAD OF done is given him the space he is clearly asking for. And letting him come to me instead of chasing after HIM. That’s what I advise you do – as well as keeping your options wide open. If he is meant for you he’ll come back to you, you won’t have to think twice about it. I’ve learnt this the hard way. But don’t make the same mistakes I did – it will just ruin the process and possibly ruin everything.

Lisa! At the end of the day a guy doesn’t need and should not be expected to tell you “where he’s been or what he’s been doing” the days you were apart! This is the reason it is difficult for so many men to commit or make a woman their GF — because they know that with the title comes the questions and the expectation of reporting their whereabouts, thier thoughts, thier feelings and yada yada yada that all us women lap up like cream 😊

It can be completely disorienting to have a man court you steadily for weeks and then fall off the grid — but it’s only been a few days. Of course he may have met someone (and if you are smart you’ll work on meeting someone too) BUT you guys are in early stages yet. Let him be free. He may become all excited about some new blonde — take her out — then think to himself while on the date — I miss Lisa. Or Lisa would have handled that differently…. You get what I’m saying.

Let him miss you. Guys fall in love in your ABSENCE. Women fall in love in a guy’s presence — so I’m not telling you to be a doormat or to accept a date if toooo many days pass. But in these early stages — just try your very hardest to remember you’re happy life before this dude — live it to the fullest — look around for other dates and let this guy come to you. If he doesn’t come back then GOOD RIDDANCE! But if you give him space — he may just end up your BF.

The surgeon didn’t answer 2 phone calls and one text I believe and weren’t they dating longer? This has been merely 3 weeks. I think it’s different if a guy is been dating for 2 months or more just plain blew me off — versus a guy I’m getting to know just isn’t following his regular pattern.

That seems a significant difference to me. And I don’t care the suregens pulling all nighters. We’ve been dating months and he didn’t have time to answer me? That would be a walk for me

In my case, the guy responded to all my texts this week within few hours but this week felt different – it felt like I was doing most of the initiation / continuing the conversation while last few weeks he was initiating. I responded to his text on Wednesday but stopped continuing the conversation to see if he would initiate communication on Thursday but he didn’t. I know if I text him, he will most likely respond but that’s not the point. I want him to pursue me and text me only if he is interested.

T, I am making date plans for the week and weekend so that I keep meeting other men and do my own thing. Then if he comes back (which tbh as of now I hope he does), I will take it from there but for now I am assuming he’s dating other women and may not contact me again.