Did I make a mistake by friendzoning him?

He can say whatever he wants in an online profile. Doesn’t make it true or mean he’s able to follow through. What is true is what Jane said. He’s controlling and not someone you want to be in a relationship if he’s trying to dictate to you what to look like down to your TOENAILS the first time you even meet. Great, sounds like he has a foot fetish or wants to be a dom. Unless you’re all about being treated like trash, cut this guy out and hide his bumble profile so it doesn’t distract you in the future when you’re looking through for more worthwhile men.

Circling back, I should have l trusted my intuition and listened to others here.

He had all the red flags and I suspect he’s a covert narcissist and a psychopath.

Unfortunately, I let this guy back in my life. He gaslighted me so bad recently that I sent him a scathing text the next morning and ended contact.

I called out his narcissistic traits and hit all his insecurities, especially his fear of not making enough money as a scientist. His jealously of my accomplishments, that’s he’s not special or great like he thinks he is, called him an insecure loser. A bunch of other stuff too that he deserved.

I ended my text by telling him to delete my number because I’m doing the same with his and to never contact me again with a final “Good riddance.”

It also seems as if he’s been tracking my movements for awhile, even before we officially met. My mom thought he’d done research online about me and that’s why we had EVERYTHING in common.

Anyways, he sent a reply text to me an hour later. I’m including it below and would like to know your thoughts. He’s a very skilled, master manipulator. It’s very scary. Not trying to be weird but I definitely saw possible serial killer vibes in him. The night we met 10 minutes into our conversation he showed me some pictures from a museum
trip with fake dead bodies parts and blood. He thought it was so cool until I asked him if he liked Jeffrey Dahmer, then he got embarrassed.

Anyways, ok here’s his text reply below. I’m still learning about covert narcissism abuse and abusers but I’m trying to determine if his reply is trying to bait or hoover me or if he’ll go away for good. Want to understand so I can recognize next time. Im going no contact with him moving forward.

His text:

“ Wow!!! Now that’s something! I was not expecting to wake up to this! 😆 I suspect someday you may look back at this message and cringe, but for now, I hope your catharsis has brought you the relief you were looking for.

I don’t know what dark place these petty insults are coming from, but in spite of your best efforts and rhetorical fury, I can’t say I feel particularly threatened or offended.

Before I inflate my mountainous ego and sail off into the great expanse, I do want to return the favor and regale you with my thoughts. I hope you’re ready because this may not be easy for you to hear.

You’re right, no one is special, not even me. And while I may not be “deserving of your kindness” your are still deserving of mine. In parting, I want to wish you the best. I think you’re intelligent and hard working. I’m not at all envious of your accomplishments, rather I admire them. I hope your income (which is almost certainly larger than my meager pittances) grows even larger. I hope your books are successful and bring to fruition the fulfillment of a childhood dream.

I’m sorry for the pain you’ve suffered. Loosing loved ones in senseless acts of violence, what happened to you as a child… it’s horrible and deeply unfair. I’m sorry for the psychological pain you experience and the mental health struggles you endure. I’ve seen the scars of these struggles across the souls of dear friends… and my mother. I hope you find a wonderful therapist who can help lead you out of these treacherous terrains, so that you can become even more successful, earn even more money than me… but most importantly – find your happiness in whatever form your desire it. Also, if I’ve caused you pain, it was inadvertent and I apologize.

So, with peace in my heart, I think it’s time to end this precarious text exchange and whatever tenuous relationship it symbolizes. You’re welcome to question the authenticity of my sentiments, I can’t control what you think nor the conclusions at which your mind arrives. But my words are sincere. When I do my “love and kindness” meditation, you will still make an appearance.

Goodbye Judy. I wish you success in your endeavors and a great life. ”

Judy/Hannah – so are you done with the big drama now? You aren’t very smart. You should have ended the first date early for all the red flags he threw off, but you kept going even though this guy is full of himself and full of crap. And you send him a scathing messaging ending it but you don’t block after that? Wise up girl. Please don’t post about this again, you got what you deserved from staying involved with this creep and we’re all thoroughly sick of hearing about it.

Hey thanks! And we definitely appreciate that you’re done posting the same story over and over under different names. As you have all these issues, I’m not sure why you thought posting here repeatedly and not taking advice was going to help your situation. Truly hope that therapy will do you some good.

Sorry for the typos but am keying from my phone. You need to run away from such men and not towrds them!