Did I push him away?


Home Forums Did He Lose Interest? Did I push him away?

  • This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 5 years ago by Kathy.
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  • #779321 Reply
    Cherise

    I met a guy recently through a hiking group. The day after we did the group hike together, he contacted me to ask if I wanted to hike with him alone the next weekend. We had a great day together, and he asked me to join him on another hike the following weekend. He also found me on Facebook and liked all my recent posts, along with tagging me in his photos of the day. It started to seem pretty clear that he was interested. On our last hike, he even asked if I’d like to accompany him on a Thanksgiving road trip to go kayaking. This was a bit too much too soon, so I politely declined. We shared a beer after our hike, which made for 8+ hours of talking and laughing together. We get along really, really well. I’m quite sure he isn’t seeing anyone else.

    But since then (now a little more than a week ago), he has been pretty quiet. A couple texts here and there, no effort to make additional plans. I know he’s been busy with work, but still. Did I seem uninterested when I turned him down for the road trip, or because he’s been the one suggesting everything up to this point? Should I ask him to hang out again, or wait for him to pursue it (or not)? I’m wondering because I have a tendency to be overly distant and give people the wrong impression about my interest.

    #779323 Reply
    anon

    If a guy ever suggests plans you can’t make, I always follow up with, “I can’t meet you Tuesday, but maybe next weekend?”. A road trip is a big commitment of time.

    There is also the chance that he just thinks you are a hiking buddy, and not a romantic interest.

    #779328 Reply
    Vera

    I don’t understand why people turn down dates and not suggest an alternate plan. I know girls want guys o pursue but we need to show some interest . He probably thinks you aren’t into him .

    #779329 Reply
    Chester

    Yes he liked you,but seeing as men don’t think ‘is it too soon to introduce her to my friends/family or suggest going on a trip together?’ The way women do,he took your refusal as a sign that you are not much interested in getting to know him.
    I suppose that he could be blamed for not understanding that women are naturally more wary and far more concerned with how things look than men are in relationships.

    #779331 Reply
    Khadija

    I think you were right in saying no to the trip, you barley know the guy.
    I agree with Vera, that you could have suggested an alternative date.

    Is there a reason you can’t reach out to say hello and perhaps mention meeting up again?

    #779333 Reply
    Cherise

    No, no reason for me to not reach out again, other than not wanting to appear to be “chasing” if he’s not interested. I guess I’ll suggest another hike in case he really does just want to be hiking buddies.

    #779342 Reply
    Kathy

    No, I would suggest doing something different or more fun. I don’t think a guy asks you to go on a trip if he just wants to be hiking buddies.

    It really could be that he thinks you aren’t interested in him in that way. That’s my take..

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