Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Did I really overrareact?
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
mama.
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Ami
Hey all,
I was dating this guy (we’re both in our 20s) and I thought things were starting to get more intimate, we were forming a connection and opening up to each other and talking about relationships and all. We never had a talk about being exclusive, but he said more than once without me asking that he wasn’t seeing anyone else. Because I think it’s basic respect for the other person I just never mention other guys to the one I’m interested in even if we’re not exclusive. But he has mentioned other girls before and we got into a fight over this around a couple months ago and I told him how that type of stuff bothered me, but in the end we made up and things were great again until last night when out of nowhere he mentioned how he would like to have sex with some female celebrity he likes and when I said, again, that I have no interest in hearing that type of stuff, he just told me to ”stop acting like I’ve never had a celebrity crush before”.
This is not about having a crush on a celebrity, this is about him not respecting my boundaries when he knows this is something I don’t like and find extremely rude and disrespectful to me. So I told him to do one and blocked him. My friends said that was childish and overreacted though. Did I really made a big deal out of something small?
Ewa
having a celebrity crush and saying to a girl you date you would like to have sex with that person are two different things.
I wouldn’t be happy if a guy I was dating said something like this to me.
why is he mentioning other girls when he is with you ? sounds like he is a bit immature.
I don’t support blocking people but if you told him again and again that you don’t like it and he keeps doing it then fair enough. onto the next one.Lane
Yes, I believe you are overcontrolling, overbearing, and far “too serious.”
Men love to JOKE, and instead of having fun with it, such as “Well I would like to do [name of celebrity]” you blocked him over something pretty stupid.
He’s single, and your single. When one is single (not in a relationship) you are allowed to date and/or have sex with anyone you want. If you want an “insta relationship” then don’t date guys who admit to dating, or having sex with other women because trying to coerce or force them into a monogamous relationship with you, or change them, is a losing strategy.
You either take them as THEY ARE, or you DON’T. If you don’t then a simple “We are clearly not on the same page, so I am bowing out. Good bye.” is how you take the high road v. the low road.
mama
I think you are overreacting. This is fantasy talk. He’s most likely never going to meet said celebrity and that celebrity will probably not have sex with him even if he does meet her.
It would be different if, for example, he said he had a crush on the girl in the next cubicle to his at work, or the barista that he sees everyday when he gets coffee.
While I would not want to hear about other women in his real life, a celebrity crush is merely fantasy and conjecture. Wait ’til you hear about all the porn he watches! (Sorry, I’m just teasing.) Maybe you could have some fun with that, who knows. But you’ve blocked him and probably burned that bridge.
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