Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Did my husband fall for his coworker
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by
redcurleysue.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Me
My husband has this female colleague who he gets on very well with. She is married also. They work a lot together and are in touch a lot via zoom and text – even on weekends. I assumed it is all just a professional relationship. Until this week, when I overheard part of a zoom meeting. My husband was having small talk and then his voice completely changed when she joined. „And here is Katherine”. At that moment I KNEW that he has feelings for her. What do I do? Do I confront him? Let it go? Look for more proof? Nothing to worry about? Will it pass?
Newbie
Well i assume we have crushes. I assume my man has them and i have them. We are used to sharing them as its on VIP’s and totally harmless. I think i would pick up on a crush if there was one around. I would probably ask. But im very not jealous and have very little reason to be concerned.
So whats your status? Its really your choice, you can go to shrub it off to its a crush to ask him how he feels about her. He is your husband. But if you ask, listen and dont blow up right away.Newbie
There is also the more strategic view. Why are you so keen on checking your husbands crushes. Does he have a wandering eye or are you insecure? What triggered you with Katherine? What does she have what you dont assuming your hubby has a thing for her. And play smart about it
Raven
Keep your mouth closed & your eyes open!
Anderson
I think it’s a bit of a reach if a mere change in voice is making you say he has feelings for her
I have a colleague who I meet occasionally at work. I’ve known her for 3 years and I adore her. She’s one of my favorite coworkers. We have great chemistry and trust. I get stares whenever we’re together because people know my work persona as a man of few words and reserved. But with her I’m lmao and the conversations rarely stop. One time I told someone “Yeah. She’s my boo.” The first time we met after lockdown, she was dressed up more than usual. I wondered it was cause she knew we’d be working together.
You must be convinced I’m smitten over her. Or she is. Wrong. There are strong platonic boundaries between us. I can’t remember the last time we even made physical contact, so strong personal space too. We text offtopic work stuff once in a blue moon, mostly me sharing a relevant meme/joke. She’s good looking but totally not my type. And I’m sure she doesn’t fancy me either.
Yeah my case is very rare, but it proves that it’s possible. Sure him actually having feelings for her is possible too. But based on the bare info so far you have it’s massive speculation.
My standard of relationship is one where we both have the license to be honest and ask each other whatever and no one gets mad. Some questions can be instinctively annoying but you brush it off. But I get it not everyone has or prefers such kind of communication/confrontation. So wait and look for more proof sure, but be wary of your confirmation bias that’s gonna make your mind exaggerate all kinds of details to fit the narrative. And try to give him the benefit of the doubt, he’s your bloody hubby after all
Addison
So, you’re kind of already in a lose-lose here, because I don’t want you going crazy and then ending up creating the thing you dread. You already got some good advice here- namely that 1 a voice change from your spouse doesn’t equal “OMG THE APOCALYSE IS COMING END OF WORLD PANICCCC” and that 2 – people do get crushes. i do believe anderson’s story really has nothing to do with you because it could be that or nothing like that at all, so it really doesn’t matter what happened to him.
so back to you, if you start actively “looking” for clues you’re going to make yourself crazy… you might even make yourself even more insecure and therefor less attractive to your husband.
my advice? when you are in a calm, self-assured place of ALIGNMENT you could maybe just ask him about it. I would not do that now that as I feel you are too worried and needy and it won’t come out right.
Take some deep breaths and give this some time, and try not to stress yourself out over this. good luck.
Rebecca
It was married my first husband used to talk about his coworker a lot he’s my ex-husband now but when I was married he used to tell me how she was so skinny compared to me and so beautiful I tried to get him to talk about his day after work but we grew apart he worked so much I knew he was cheating on me sometimes I blame myself how he lost interest in me if you really love your husband you have to get the focus back on yourself spice things up dress nicer and where hot lingerie for him be willing to do things you wouldn’t normally do in the bedroom things receptionist won’t do for him and then you’ll have your husband back if you put on weight lose weight take better care of yourself start working out in the gym and know that you’re worth it know that you’re beautiful know that you deserve the best and if you do all this and he still doesn’t notice you move on and find somebody that will you deserve the best. if he makes more money than you and you decide to turn the other cheek and look the other way start putting things in your name start setting up money in your account to secure your livelihood be prepared that he might leave you one day for her but make sure that he doesn’t leave you in the Lurch with nothing that is what happened to me
redcurleysue
Invite her and a friend to dinner and pay attention to your husband. See how they act. You will be able to tell if there is friendship or more. If it is just a crush do not worry – all married people have them every few years – and they go away given time. Also, make sure you take a vacation together – does wonders.
-
AuthorPosts
