Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Dining at my crush's restaurant
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
Laurette.
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Laurette
So I received a birthday dinner invite from my best friend that last minute decided she wants to have a bday dinner at a popular hot spot.
Well turns out that is the place where the guy I am currently talking to works as a manager and he told me that he always works Friday nights. My friends don’t know about him as I usually keep my dating life private). Well I had to cancel my last 2 dates with him cause of work and when I tried to reschedule he wasn’t available which was fine. We haven’t spoken since then, its been about 1 week.
Anywho, maybe I’m thinking to deep into it but should I let him know that I will be dining where he works? I don’t want to run into him and look like a stalker or something, or I’m thinking to just act like I didn’t remember he worked there if we do run into each other.
Like I said I am probably over thinking it but just wanted some advice, especially since we havent spoke in a week and I am still interested in dating him but just giving him some space.
Liz Lemon
Honestly if someone I was newly trying to date canceled 2 dates in a row with me, I would assume that they were not terribly interested in me. That may be why you haven’t heard from him in a week.
Have you been on any dates at all with this guy? How many? Or are you just talking?
I also think if you go to the restaurant and act like you forgot he worked there, it will send him a message that you aren’t terribly interested and don’t remember details about him.
I suggest sending a friendly text to say hi and let him know you’ll be there. Maybe send it the day before. Just to give him a heads up, but to also show you haven’t forgotten him.
Raven
Are you initiating said dates?
Zoe
He is not interested in you per your info. I would not show up at his place
Raven
Or at least for sure not announce it…
Maddie
I think it’s okay to say something like, My best friend just invited me to a party at your restaurant Friday. We’re looking forward to checking it out!
This is zero real initiative on your end, doesn’t express much interest unless he wants to read into it that way, and is a text that can easily be ignored or responded to — a choice which may clarify things for you anyway. His interest is likely low (though I agree, if you canceled the last 2 dates without rescheduling, he probably thought YOUR interest was low). But it’s a short message that’s not a big deal in any direction and won’t make or break anything, yet may ease awkwardness if you do see him there.
Maddie
*without successfully rescheduling
Liz Lemon
Agree with Maddie’s logic. I also think it’ll look stalker-ish if you show up unannounced…if he doesn’t want to see you for any reason, he can be aware you’re coming and avoid you (not saying that will happen). Informing him is just courtesy so he’s not caught off guard.
Trixie
I would say along the lines of: “Hope you are having a great week. My friends…anf ending with “It is a bummer I had to cancel our dates.”
Laurette
Thanks for your advice everyone! Yeah he was so consistent with communication and always checked up on me throughout the day, every single day before I cancelled our dates. I felt so bad My job had a crisis and I had to stay super late both times which he said he understood and I didn’t take it personal him not being available for our make up date since he works two jobs. He hates texting and is more of a phone person so I’m thinking I’ll just call him the night before and have a “casual” chat to catch up and then bring it up and if he doesn’t answer then just send that quick text.
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