Divorced Guy-is this common?

So, it probably has nothing to do with me personally then? He just started dating me, decided he still had issues to deal with/wasn’t ready. However, being a typical man he still wants sex and he, knowing I’m worth more than that, let’s me go and pursues a sex buddy?

I’m just so hurt. We were getting along so well and then he just up and ghosted. So now to find out he’s whoring around… He could have slept with me, but yes, I would have wanted more. I don’t do NSA deals.

Yes. .it’s not you. You just got him at the wrong time…He has unresolved issues he has to deal with.

don’t beat yourself up..just learn from this. After one or two dates…ask a guy what does he think about relationships. …In general..If he says he foes not want one….RUN. saves you a lot of hassle down the line.

read a lot of the articles and threads here…you will learn a lot

You are looking at this all wrong.

perhaps. … he’s a really nice guy and dumped you to protect you….Instead of using you.

this girl is not worthier than you….just more compatible. …like I said….she accepts less.

start reading here !

women bond with sex.

men….don’t. ..it’s just a physical release of him to be blunt. SURE. …they feel things in the moment….but not after.

Well, he’s meeting SOMEBODYS needs, just not mine. Bathe crazy thing is, he and I did sleep together. It’s not like I wouldn’t have gave him sex. However, he knew I was seeking more than just sex. This is hurtful.

For future don’t date a guy whose not divorced for at least 1 year. Doesn’t matter how much they tell u they are THEY ARE NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP. read 7 stages after divorce.

U provided him Sex yes, but would have wanted commitment. She doesn’t.

Move on n learn from ur mistake. I’ve got a few male friends who have recently separated or divorced from their wives they all go thru this. Think they r ready for a relationship, date, realize they aren’t, break up or offer fwb. It’s very very common.

Solution: don’t date a recently divorced guy no matter how much he tells u he’s ready…

Rebound…it’s happened us all. been there. ..done that. miss him like hell
.but I know it’s him…not me. I’m comfortable in my own skin. .secure enough emotionally….A d haven’t of confidence. YOU….sounding you could do with building yourself up to be more use me.

Over analysing shall do no use….wreaks your head. never settle for less…never want a guy who don’t want you.
I love myself more. I put myself first.the guy I wanted.. was damn stupid to let me go. I’m an awesome catch.

but…when guts are not at a good place in life….there’s nothing a girl can do t o force a relationship.

move forward with the lessons learned….ask is he seeking a relationship. ..do not invest in him too early…keep your own independent life…watch out for red flags… ie. just divorced…talks about the ex….make sure a guys actions match his words. Most guys pull back at the 4 month mark….debating do they want to move forward in life with you or not…so give him space to think it through.

This guy… is gone. let him go. look after NO 1…YOU.

As a person in the opposite shoes.. married 8 years. Husband cheated. I went on dating site. First guy within the couple months was a rebound, was timing. Wasn’t necarasilly him.. I wasn’t ready. It takes a long time to heal emotionally from betrayal. So just know it was not you, keep your head up. LOTS of other people.

“Krystal- so you did the same thing? Dated a guy, he was great, nothing personal against him, you just decided you weren’t ready? Purely timing?”

Rebound.. Yes, I’m so sorry you are going through this. He was chasing me and showing he was interested in me, he wanted a relationship really bad, I liked the attention but my heart was still too wounded to care for another. I told him I didn’t & wasn’t ready for a relationship and he knew my situation, I was honest. It was sex, he wanted more and got upset eventually that it wasn’t going to be more. I think it’s a part of the process for recovery- the timing. Also, I understand you being angry.. I wasn’t so upset over my divorce I just wanted the company but wasn’t ready to let anyone in.

I HOPE this helps from the opposite end, dating a divorced person is tough but when they are in the right mental state- ex. a year or two out of the divorce its a different ball game, more mature, and lessons learned.

That being said, I think I’m just angry: if he’s so upset over his divorce, don’t date and don’t sleep with others!! Be on your own and get your emotions in check. But that’s just me, not trying to be judgemental. It’s just the idea of “rejection” and knowing he didn’t want me but wants a f buddy. It sucks. First divorced man i have dated. Lesson learned!

I work with a single man, older. He splits time among several women. I met someone his own age, gorgeous, seriously has her stuff together. I was so sure they would hit it off. She liked him, he’s not interested. Later, he admits he could tell she’s a relationship type. He admits she’s the greatest ever, he just simply doesn’t want a relationship. So he sticks with his nutty women who he never has to take seriously. This experience opened my eyes big time and maybe explains how you never hear back from some guys. They just sense they are not looking for the same thing you are. I, personally, am glad if they do, since it saves trouble and you are left with room in your life for the right guy.

KimF: Wow!! I think that describes my situation perfectly. I’m the girl that has her SH(T together: I am established in my career, finanically secure, well traveled, not the least bit clingy, take care of my appearance, don’t pressure men, etc. By all means I am a catch and he KNEW as much as he said so. I guess I did have a warning sign right before he left me: He said “you are too good for me”. The context in which he said it was after I called him an online dating unicorn; meaning I thought he was a catch and I said he seems so perfect. He then told me “You are too good for me, you’re amazing”. A week later he was gone.

I guess I’m just not an ideal rebound; I don’t put out the “Use me and abuse me” vibes.

Rebound… don’t fall for what men say. You should have said no thanks after the second date… but you’ve probably figured that out by now.

When they come on so strong so fast, it is a red flag, always. A decent guy will not want to scare you away. Think of it this way – any guy you meet is on probation for 90 days. He’s applying for the position of boyfriend. Let him audition.Your only job is to enjoy his company and get to know who he really is, not get taken in so fast and invested so heavily that it upsets you this much. It wasn’t about you. Don’t waste your valuable time and energy being hurt over a guy on the rebound.