Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › do EX's always come back??
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SthrnBelle
My experience is that most exes come back and the majority of them for the wrong reason, i.e., for an ego boost. If you do not contact them, dumper exes will usually contact you too just because of wondering how they lost your attention and affection, not because they really want something good and serious. So, best to move on, it can feed your ego if he contacts you but unless he makes very serious attempts, do not fall for him contacting you. Even with serious attempts, things often become cyclic and an ex is one for a reason. In rare cases it can work when both people have progressed on a personal level and are different and different dynamics can develop, where there have been serious feelings from both sides but something was off in the dynamics but this is not something you should ever hope for. Personal progress, yes, do work on yourself, this is the best you can do for yourself so history does not keep repeating itself. But even if you become an even better you, it does not mean he has and he will. Most likely not.
HopefulWhat about ones with commitment issues
HeartbrokenI have been in relationship for 6 months. And it is a long distance relationship. We have been through many ups and downs but we always stick to each other. We had serious break up only once And after that he came back through some friends help. But after 2 weeks we again fought and he broke it up with me. And this time he has blocked me from everywhere. What should I do?
SthrnBelleLet it go. Honestly, if your first six months were such hell already, what would you expect later? You say you only seriously broke up once in six months, now the second time, this is a lot for such a short relationship. The beginning of the relationship should be all happiness, rose clouds, if it is not that, later once you get more serious it would be even worse.
Ianthe#dumper exes will usually contact you too just because of wondering how they lost your attention and affection, not because they really want something good and serious#
So true. I remember when someone I had a casual fling with (he was FAR more interested than I was and he knew this) disappeared after I ended it, I found myself wondering where he was and what he was up to! I hadn’t the slightest intention of reigniting anything-I just missed the attention! He was a fair bit older than me so perhaps knew what he was doing!
I would most certainly advise taking time after a break-up to process and reflect on what went wrong-something I didn’t always do when I was much younger, opting instead to just ‘forget’ about it and move on! I remember once when I was very blindsided by a break-up (a combination of various other outside stresses and bad timing generally with some close friends I’d normally confide in away travelling etc) so much so I couldn’t see the woods for the trees. I just assumed he’d lost interest or was no longer attracted to me! Looking back some time later , I could see how I had brought the whole thing on myself-the guy in question had really little choice. He’d tried to talk to me about the issues leading up to the break-up but I was so self-absorbed and stressed about work issues etc, I failed to take his concerns on board. I’m far more self-aware (and experience1) now, thankfully.
Looking back, I just wasn’t in the right place for a relationship with….anyone. So a case of ‘right guy’ but wrong time!
hannibalDated a girl for almost 4 years. Serious relationship. Were best friends first then started dating. Had to be away for 3 months because of work but things were still pretty good. Because of things I got depressed and didnt treat her as good as I usually do. Actually it was pretty bad. She broke it off about 3.5 months ago. I begged and nagged her for about 2 months and she told me to never contact her again. I went no contact after that. Its been 1.5 months of no contact. I truly love her and I hate that I let outside issues get to us. Do I have any hope of her coming back to try again?
sarahI am sure my ex is going to come back. We just broke up and I did all that stupid begging stuff until I realized hey WTH am I doing I need to know my worth. I didn’t message him yesterday and he sent me a stupid humorous memes . I looked at it but never replied. Think about how he is going to feel when there isn’t going to be a single message in a week.
From all the begging and all complete silence is going to haunt him. He is talking to a girl actively but I know she is a rebound as she is far not close to his type.
Why are we letting ex’s decide for us? yes we love them but it doesn’t mean we sit around waiting for them. The bigger question is why are we so keen to have a lover in our lives? Yes having a partner is important but I would want a partner who never leaves me no matter what, he talks things out rather than taking this route.
The more you run after something the more it gets further. Stop thinking or hoping that he’s going to come back. And watch he will be at your door step :)
A.I’m a little late on this thread but yes! I had one guy I was dealing with freshman year of high school come back into my life almost 3 years of absolute no contact. The only reason he waited so long is because I was in a relationship and he didn’t know how to approach me. He actually had me blocked on instagram until the day he contacted me. THEY WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO CONTACT YOU! I never thought I’d hear from him or see him again and I accepted that. Then BOOM! He began to tell me how he should’ve stuck by me and not picked the girl he “left” me for ;) he said we should’ve been married by now, blah, blah. He is someone I wouldn’t date again and his life is a mess now!
EmmaSometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. There’s no way to answer this question.
DanielleHey guys, I’d really like your perspective since i’m still struggling with this situation and I don’t know why. It’s been a little over a month since my ex and I broke up. We were together for seven months, it was long distance but we saw each other frequently. I was his first love and he was mine. Constant texting and constant facetiming too. This kid was head over heels for me, there wasn’t a moment in the day where we weren’t talking. In fact, there wasn’t a moment in the day where he didn’t say I love you or show me love and affection. The reason why I broke up with him was because of how he controlled certain situations and at some point mid-way through the relationship I changed myself a lot. He wouldn’t like it if I drank or if I smoked or if I hung out with certain guy friends or specific friends who I would hang with and drink with etc. I actually ended up cutting off a friend because he said he couldn’t trust me (I would do these things behind his back because I was afraid to tell him and get a bad reaction). So over time I stopped doing a lot of things I used to do with friends. Also, there were other moments where I would voice certain things when we were arguing but he always had a certain passive aggressive to him, whatever I would say would go through one ear and out the other even though sometimes he would apologize and just end up doing it again. After I broke up with him I saw he was going on instagram and liking half-naked pictures of girls as well as this one girl who he specifically knew I had problems with back in college. When he called me 5 days after we broke up he told me that he did that because he knew I would see it. After that phone call I didn’t get back with him because he was so spiteful with his online activity, as well as not understanding why I broke up with him. A week later I ended up going out and I kissed someone. He somehow found out and called me and was furious. Eventually that same night he found out he said a bunch of really hurtful things to me, “get out of my life,” “i don’t care about you anymore,” “i don’t love you anymore.” It hurt so bad, but even then I called him a week later because I didn’t think he meant anything. So when I called him again I tried talking things out, not to get back together, but to maybe make things better. He shot me down again and was completely cold and said things like “you haven’t even crossed my mind.” Like is this even possible? A part of me feels like why did I even kiss that person, but another part of me feels like it wasn’t that big of a deal, it happened a week after we broke up and I did it to try to move on. He even still owes me money, and some of my things which he had he ended up throwing out. What do you guys think? Is he completely over it? Did that one kiss kill things for good?
DanielleForgot to add in that even after he said all of those hurtful things to me he texted me on thanksgiving saying happy thanksgiving and then called me the same day at 3am when I didn’t reply. Super confused about that too
TinyIanThe
If you’re still on here, curious if your ex came back. I might b guilty of something similar. Stress is deafening…
IantheTiny-I really don’t know since I moved house (sold to a property developer who tore it down to build apartments) and changed my number shortly after we broke up! Owing to my job, I’m not on FB……so who knows!!!!
ChristinaNo they don’t, and if they do, I for one am done giving second chances. They hardly last longer than a few months.
ChristinaTo fast…. it would have to be external circumstances that broke us apart, like moving to a different country, amnesia or something like that, then maybe I would reconsider.
DMLI was in a 4 yr relationship and just got out of it in dec. i did something wrong because i was being taken for granted and he was being selfish , mean , emotional abusive at times, neglectful , and i just had enough. we had been friends since high school , in college we were friends and then after i graduated we explored more. i lived with him for 3 yrs. basically me writing to another mail on facebook messenger was cheating in his eyes even though i always did everything for him , treated him like a king. it seemed he just missed his old lifestyle and wanted out. in anycase i did all that begging stuff and wanted him back , i recently reached out to him after 3 weeks and he was still mean and told me not to talk to him until he wants to talk. so i just left it alone. the thing is at first , when i moved out 3 weeks after the break up , a month later the night before valentines day he came to see my new apt , and we hooked up. we thought we would agree to a casual side of things so we hooked up again , then he came back from being away one weekend and decided this wasnt what he wanted. so now that we are friends on facebook again , it appear hes going crazy and likes one of his younger sisters friends and is doing everything i didnt like him doing in the relationship. he became friends with all his woman friends again. iv been dating around myself and hooking up with an older guy. i deserve much better. I guess i still love him and want to know if he will come back being that i was his first serious relationship but i dont know. I am going to Barbados soon , and I am also a gym rat so there are loads of things to focus on. :)
DMLI forogot to add in that i would cry myself to sleep at least 3-4 nights out of 7 nights in a week because iw asnt allowed to initiate anything until he was wanting to. I am a very sexual person and he was attracted to me…when he broke up with me after i did what i did, he said that he needed to find himself and didnt want to be with anyone. I didnt believe it , especially last week when i saw his facebook , and the fact that he tagged this girl , one of his sistes best friends in his post. something about going spartan racing even though he never did those things with me. in my mind i know he did it to be spiteful because he knows that i would see it . I am probably doing much worse things than he is . I am the queen of petty , and I really try not to be because we are adults here. But he did treat me like crap in the end. Especially when he used to have nothing and i used to take care of him, then when he got promoted to be manager at his job , nothing was ever done for me, the beginning of december 2016 i had a birthday dinner with 15 ppl . he didnt offer to pay my bill or ask for them to bring me out cake. so i knew then and there he just didnt care. His excuse was he didnt have money on his card, but at that point he was making almost like $70,000 a year. So that was bs. I was so good to him and he said that didnt matter. so i was like ok….after begging a few times withing a few months i just said whatever. if he comes back which i highly doubt he will then idk if i would want him, although i still love him. I know i was wrong but I didnt want to leave him .
Crisulagoogle “Boomerang Boyfriends”
Crisula2 year old post
PhillygirlThis is an old post, but here is some wisdom that stands the test of time:
-don’t ever give anyone a second chance to treat you badly
-losers should stay forgotten and in the past
-if you love yourself, you won’t tolerate anyone who treats you without respect, consideration, and courtesy
-going back to the same crappy guy is no different than fishing in a sewer. More crap and little of value. YuckpeggyThis post is way old.
VanHe broke up with me because i didnt tell my parents about us and he felt that he was under pressure….now he needs time to relax and enjoy his life he told me..he is angry with me because i didnt pay attention to his comolaints…he was my first..he is 24…will he ever come back? We were together for 7 months
DandyI know that this is more than 2 years old but I wonder if OP’s ex came back…Katie update us lol!!!!
I only have 1 ex that was a loser, losers always come back. It’s not much of an achievement. I have another one that I casually dated 2 years ago, he rejected me for long term and I was devastated, now he asks if i’m single once every few months. I don’t want anything to do with him so I always lie telling him that I have a bf even though I don’t. He’s not a loser but he’s too average for my standards.
However, they don’t always come back. One guy I casually dated is now engaged 6 months after we ended. I never wanted him back though. His fiance is a perfect match for him. So if it’s meant to be it’ll happen!
Now the ex that I want back is definitely the top 1% compared to other men. He set the bar high. 6 months since we ended. He’s in another relationship right now which is killing me but i’m upgrading myself. He would be a fool not to revisit this. We shall see what happens in the future. :) Stay strong girlies!
EmmaI am curious, how are you “upgrading” yourself? is this a new lingo for a boob job? LOL
Dandy@Emma
LOL!!!! Having big boobs would not hurt. A man I recently dated says he’s been noticing a trend where every girl gets a boob job after a breakup hahaha!
I’m upgrading by finishing grad school, after a solid career, I shall upgrade my wardrobe, pamper myself so I can look extra nice. If my ex doesn’t come back then the universe will allow me to attract a more suitable partner. In the end, everything works out regardless.
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