Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Do Guys Want Girls to Take the Lead? (General)
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
Lisa.
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Trish
I noticed about myself that I never initiate when it comes to sex . I’m with a guy now who doesn’t seem to mind it, and every time he initiates I’m always ready to go. I think the sex is good overall but lately I’ve been wondering if initiating sex is something he wishes I did more or something that guys in general wish girls did more.
Liz Lemon
It depends on the guy. My bf likes for me to initiate and I would say I do more initiating than he does, on average. But like you, he’s always ready to go when I do. One couple in a relationship is usually the person who initiates more. I’m outgoing and extroverted and he’s introverted and reserved, so I think that has something to do with it in my case…it’s easier for me to initiate because of my personality. Even if my bf wants to initiate, his personality is more reserved and less spontaneous, and I think that inhibits him, if that makes sense…and I can usually pick up on that when it happens, so I take the lead and get things started ;-)
When you partner with someone you hopefully are with a guy who compliments your personality….so if you don’t like to initiate sex, or it doesn’t feel natural to you, then you are hopefully partnered with a guy who likes to initiate. There’s no right or wrong in this situation. If it’s on your mind, why not ask your boyfriend about it? Maybe he’d like you to initiate more, or maybe he’s perfectly happy the way things are.
Lisa
I’ve noticed that unless he complains about always being the initiator, most guys feel the need to be the one initiating. I’ve never had a problem initiating if I REALLY wanted it, but for the most part I have never turned it down. There’s always the exception to the rule. Once my boyfriend was half asleep and I tried waking him up to get something going, he kind of brushed me away and went back to sleep. I was hurt and then MAD but when we talked about it later he told me he didn’t even realized he’d done that. I had another boyfriend once who always initiated and there was a week I was really upset with him and I kept declining the advance whenever he’d try. He finally asked me what was wrong because we had sex almost every night and for the last week I kept shooting him down. I finally told him why I was upset with him and that I needed some time to get over being upset.
In my experience though, if you’re in a relationship they won’t turn it down, and are kind of excited when you initiate, but just from overall knowledge, and talking to guys that I know, they need to be the dominant one so they prefer to chase and be the one initiating. -
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