Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Do I ask him what time we are meeting? Even though he asked me out?
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 5 months ago by mama.
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Hayley
I feel silly typing this out but I know what needs to occur but I am just really tired about this.
Guy and I been on two dates (im 22 and hes 23) and after the second date (this was in the middle of June) we both had a nice time yet he went absolutely silent on me for a whole week. I put it down that he was not interested. He then kept texting me through fourth of july and I hinted at a next date yet he again, didn’t seem interested….YET kept texting.
I finally fully backed off mid July and since then he STILL texts me once every few days, like 4 days. I finally got sick of it (I kept deleting his number) and called him out on why he still is texting me and asked him if hes still interested. I essentially gave him a way out and he said he is “absolutely into a third date” and he apologized saying “I have been acting like a ghost but I have had a really weird month but it didn’t mean I wasn’t interested”. I gave him a way out and he refused so then he pulls up his pants I guess and mentioned taking me on a date. We decided on Sunday (tomorrow). First we said Monday, then I told him that didn’t work so asked him if Sunday did (communication..!!!). He said yes, but now its well, Saturday and not a peep from him since. He suggested a baseball game yesterday (even though we said a different thing) and I said basically no lets stick to our original plan. And it was left as “Just figured I’d ask” from him. I haven’t replied to it. I HAVE NO IDEA if I should try CLEARLY pulling this guys teeth. He asked me out…do I have to be the one who asks him what time? If this is even still on? I am STILL getting low interest from him even though he said he is still “interested”. I want to fully move on from this. I don’t know what I should do here.
Every time I have asked a man what time are we thinking—guess what…he later showed incredibly low interest. Should I text him? He should reach out to me right? Last date we went on, (almost two months ago now!!!) I am the one who made a dinner reservation. Like cmon…..
I thought about entertaining this as I would like to fool around with him since him and I are just very much incompatible and he is not worth my time–now I just don’t even think I wanna kiss him. Also–two months for a third date???
MaddieThis is silly because he’s so immature. Why reward his crummy behavior with a hook up? You know you can do better for yourself and find a guy you can trust more, even if it’s just casual.
“I gave him a way out and he refused” — this is your problem. Why are you giving him a way out instead of making the decision yourself? If he can’t make a date with you in 2 months(!) or set a specific time and place, it’s okay to peace out. ‘But he’s still messaging me’ isn’t a reason to stay in this situation.
I don’t care that he’s had a weird month. A guy worth your time will lead with that without being prompted. “I’m busy with [work, family, traveling, whatever] for the next month but would really love to see you when I’m free” followed by continued consistent messaging AND taking initiative to make a date with you as soon as whatever he’s busy with clears up. If you’re even still available then! But waiting on him isn’t going to go anywhere. You said yourself, when you push dating along at the beginning, the guy generally turns out to have low interest. That’s my experience as well.
Don’t text him, don’t even get ready until he texts you. IF he texts you. Only text him if this is keeping you from making other plans and you’re canceling on him.
RavenYour thought process confuses me…
Why would you even entertain the notion of hooking up with this time waster?!TrixieThis is really on you. You are allowing yourself to engage in a man who is not interested in a beautiful, committed relationship. Begin respecting yourself and not letting anyone in that doesn’t show you 100 percent respect for you.
Liz LemonI agree 100% with the other ladies. This guy is a time waster. The fact that he’s texting you means nothing– plenty of guys text for attention and an ego boost. A guy who is interested in you will be consistent and make an effort to see you, not only because he wants to get to know you, but because he wouldn’t want to lose you to another guy. If this guy can’t find time to see you in 2 months (!), he isn’t serious.
mamaI hate to say it but he didn’t ask you out — you cornered him and got him to agree to take you out.
I don’t think he’s interested — he was probably into someone else during his “weird month” and it didn’t work out. I know I’m making a lot of assumptions but you’re backburner girl. :(
Don’t be anyone’s plan B. You have to look out for yourself and your needs — no one else is going to do it for you.
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