Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Do I tell him my birthday is coming up soon?
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missmarkel.
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Jessica
So my birthday is coming up in a few days and I’m not sure if I should remind my boyfriend. It isn’t a special birthday like a 40th or 50th and he knows what day it is on however when I asked him what he was doing this weekend he said he was heading to his deer lease for the rut. All I said was that I hoped he had a good time hunting. I’m assuming he’s forgotten my birthday is this weekend or hunting is more important and I’m not sure if I should feel upset and say something to him or just let the day pass and not make an issue of it. I would have liked for us to have dinner or a movie but I don’t think that should come from me. I also think that if hunting is what he’d rather be doing then I don’t want to force the issue. Any advice?
Thomas
This is what makes me crazy with women. Just say something like I want to have dinner for my birthday this year with you. I was thinking we could go (insert name of place).
I suck at remembering dates and frankly if I already have plans to do something, you can bet I will be focused on that.
I can’t read your mind and it makes me nuts when women get all upset about such things. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a relationship. Women confuse me. They just can’t be straight forward about anything
Kate
Agree with Thomas on this one. I put a red circle around the date on my BF’s desk calendar and you know what his reaction was? He gave me a big kiss and said, “Thank you baby! We’ll do something fun.”
Lane
Thomas is on point!
Men really do suck at remembering dates but women are not which is why its our job to remind them :-P
My mother-in-law knew I reminded my (now ex) husband it was her birthday and when I left him he totally forgot and she was like can you remind him again for me lol. Birthday’s weren’t important to me, or my ex, just our sons so we didn’t do anything special other than a BD card and cook each other’s favorite breakfast or meal.
Not everyone is big on celebrations so this would be a good time to learn how important they are to him and you. If they aren’t then don’t make a brou ha ha about it.
Jessica
Just say something casual like, “I can’t wait for my birthday this weekend! I’m not sure how to celebrate though, got any ideas?” That way he doesn’t feel like you’re putting him down for not remembering, but you’re still reminding him without making him feel rejected or attacked, and he feels like an important part of your life by asking him for ideas on how to celebrate.
If he tells you to go do something without him for your birthday, just gently let him know that it wouldn’t be the same without him and that you want to spend time celebrating with him. But be nice about it!
Don’t let yourself get upset about him not remembering. Guys tend to forget, and that’s not on purpose. He knows birthdays are important and he probably of course wants to celebrate it with you. Just help him out a little by casually reminding him!
Remember, as Eric and Sabrina always point out, it’s all in the approach. Don’t make him feel guilty for not remembering, just casually throw it out there. He’ll remember and appreciate you for reminding him and not chastising him.
Good luck, and have a great birthday!!kaye
My boyfriend’s birthday falls before mine and he’s not one to make a big deal about it and his family really never did either, but he knows I do and my family does. So I made sure he felt really special on his day and made a big deal out of it and he really enjoyed it. So when my birthday came a few months later he showed up at my office with a card, flowers, and a cupcake with a candle and took me out to lunch. Then a few days a later we went over to his mom’s for my dinner and he gave me my present.
I would definitely tell him you’d like to do something for your birthday but I wouldn’t be so rigid that if he’s already made other plans he couldn’t take you out to celebrate on another day.
Maria
It is not very common to just TELL people (men and women alike) about your birthday unless you are staging a birthday party, so I am not sure why Thomas would not understand that it is not very pleasant to remind your BF about it. It is very normal for a woman to want her BF to remember about her birthday. It applies to friends as well.
But I do agree that you need to remind him about it (unfortunately). Do not do it via text or anything in writing. It is better to do it in a subtle way over the phone, say that you are glad that you birthday falls on the sales at department stores, you can use a new pair of shoes. If he does not clue in, THEN you would have no choice but tell him straight up. I was hoping you’d remember…blah blah..but do not accuse him, use a light tone.
missmarkel
Yeah…you should tell him .And ask how could he forget but use light tone.He will realise his mistake..but i hope he is planning a surprise for you. However That is rarest of rare.
missmarkel
Oh so she cant even complaint a little bit..This little drama makes the life beautiful..and we are not asking her to get high and all..its just the simple oh you forgot my birthday..i thought you would this and that on my special day..and He would realise.
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