Do I tell his gf that he cheated on her, with me?!

This man is not exactly wooing you. Your bad for sleeping with someone who is just a hookup and then being surprised. Just stop talking to him, even ok to say, I found out you have a girlfriend and I do not want to be a third party in thathe. But you contacting her is for you, not for her, so stop lying to yourself.

And next time you see someone twice in 4 months, he is not making you feel special, you are a booth call. Get higher standards

I think a major major obvious fact is being lost here…he’s got a girlfriend…

You brought this upon yourself…at this point graciously leave HIS relationship with her as quickly as possible…he’s shown you TWICE now he’s a cheater…He cheats on her…He “cheats” on you…

Ugh is all I can think…

I had no idea he had a girlfriend. If I did, I wouldn’t have stayed that night with him.
The fact that he lied to both of us. I’m all for hooking up but not when he is in a relationship! That night was all about me and him and planning for more time together.
If I was the gf, I would be furious.
I would think if he loved her, he wouldn’t have been with me.
I just don’t want to seem like that girl that hooks up with taken guys. Or side chick.
I feel bad for the gf, I would want to know he’s a liar, cheating douche. Plus all those times we talked over the months, he flirt. He had to be with her at some point.
I don’t want him. I can’t imagine a guy who would treat me that way that night, sweet, nice, loving and mean none of it. Then turn around and do that to his girl who he is supposed to be faithful too!

Get your dignity and power back – walk away while you still can, with it intact.

The messenger always gets shot, not matter how good your intentions are.

Tell the girlfriend! She deserves to know he’s a cheating low life. Redcurleysue thinks she knows or suspects, but he may have the wool pulled over her eyes.
Tell her. Don’t have anything to do with the cheater again..

They’re leaving. So I won’t see them. I don’t plan on having any contact with him.
Should I tell her?
Should I talk to him?
Do nothing, let it go?

He probably thought, no one will find out. They don’t know.
But for me, I just can’t shake it.

He didn’t betray you. You had 2 one night stands with him. You knew exactly that those were a booty call. And now you wanna tell that to her GF? C’mon, it is not your business. Just stop contact with him, that’s all you need to do.

The amount of people suggesting the OP somehow brought this on herself? Booty call or not, the guy was cheating whilst doing it. Whether or not she held off, he’d have pursued it by the sounds of it.

I’m always very much a ‘people’s relationship is their own business’ person. It could be open, since there’s distance, it could be they were on a break and have rekindled etc. But, if she has no idea, then she would probably want to know.

It’s a tough one. I’d consider sending her a message over fb or something. Just explaining what happened and when it happened. Say you’re not sure of their relationship but knew I’d it was the other way around you’d be glad someone told you.

I love this forum, but sometimes I’m so blown away by the consensus advice. If you are doing it for the right reasons (and not to get attention or try to get him away from her)I would absolutely tell the girl. Anonymously, however you can do that. Give her details such as dates and times so she has good information without knowing your name etc. Never talk to the guy again without question. Do not engage in drama afterwards.

But really – I cant believe any woman on here is telling you to let it go. We should always “do unto others” and I would want to know and we should look out for one another.

Many people actually do not want to hear their significant other is cheating. More often than not, they shoot the messenger.

I think the OP needs to delete this loser and worry about her own life. But I agree that if we women stopped running around with married or attached men we could end most of this nonsense. That would be a much better way of supporting one another.

I know the OP didn’t know, but that is why you ask up front if someone is seeing anyone else. Yes, they can lie, but at least you take ownership at the beginning by asking and trying to keep it honest.

We don’t control others. Only ourselves. If someone shows they are a lying cheater, kick him to the curb and leave him there.

But all this endless energy after the fact is ridiculous.

Shannon, I think in your case you did the right thing for the right reason. But as you said, almost never is this revelation welcomed or appreciated by the recipient (the spouse or GF being cheated on).

If it were me I’d want to know, so I could be done with a cheater. But we all know very well how many women will still cling to a cheating liar.

So yes, the OP should do what she needs to do to clear her conscience, and then be fully done with it and move on. Just know you may be inviting all kinds of drama into your life by engaging with her.

Ok, so here’s my situation… I met what seemed to be an amazing guy on fb. He was from another state but he worked for an airline so he could fly whenever wherever he wanted. He possessed so many of the qualities I had hoped to find. He approached me and we started getting to know each other through messenger than on the phone. We would talk for hours, he was so charming and sweet. Almost too sweet. He came out to see me after a few weeks and we had what I thought was an intense connection. He did things while he was here that made me think it was real. Basically he stayed for 3 days and went home all the while texted me on his way home and even first thing in the morning the next day and poof.. gone haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. I tried reaching out and now noticed he deleted me and he has a girlfriend.. I want to tell her so badly, but I am torn..