Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Do men really fall in love in love in your absence??
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 7 years, 7 months ago by
Emma.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Alyssa
There’s this man in my life, we aren’t dating, but we have culminated a friendship in going on a year’s time. We both see each other in the light of more than just friends, but he had made it clear in he beginning that he wasn’t ready for anything more.
Romantically, I saw him as a bit of a dead end, but I didn’t see any problem in pursuing a friendship with him. I know he’s scared of getting hurt again like he did with his ex. He’s always been incredibly sweet and attentive with me and I know he values me, we’ve built a great deal of trust and we’ve opened up to one another more than we have anyone else.
That all said, in the past couple of months, he’s been sending me the ” I’ve been thinking about you these past few days” text. Then goes on to say he doesn’t know why,but he felt like he should share that. He’s been initiating contact more, more affectionate and flirtatious even, this is usually followed by a week or two of not being in touch. I know that that’s his sweet way of saying he misses me, whether there is more to it, I don’t know. An article I read on here, got me thinking. For men, does the saying hold true that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”??
L
Words don’t match actions.
Chroma
If he’s in New York or LA (or worse, bi coastal), RUN. fast and far away. same old games.
Chroma
And by the way, the reason he may NOW just be paying you attention is because something else didn’t work out for him… Think about it. He’s looking for attention.
Hannah
Absence makes the heart grow fonder in a relationship. So you’re spending a lot of time together, then you have to be apart and you really miss the other person. You never actually wanted to be apart from them anyway.
Otherwise it’s “out of sight, out of mind”. Well unless you’re bored! You can’t get attached to someone you never see.
Alyssa
For the record, I know this man isn’t a player. It’s just the little things that don’t add up to me. When he says things like that to me, there this obvious awkwardness . I can sense it even in text and he has made it clear to me not too long ago that he intends on sticking around. As a friend, I thought that went without saying already. He truly is a wonderful man.
That’s said, when we talked about his last relationship, it is also obvious to me that he’s really afraid of getting hurt again. He’s the man that will run for the hills as if his life depended on it if he felt hurried by someone to give more than what he’s ready even if it’s the best thing that ever happened to him.
He’s kind of like a scared stray cat or rescue dog, if you try to force your way into their space, they will lash out and run and hide, but if you give them time and space to realize that you can be trusted, they will slowly come out on their own.. He’s incredibly cautious and it wouldn’t surprise me if he would need a solid friendship first before he’d feel comfortable taking the leap again. I’m the same way in that respect to be honest.
Nelly
Men who are starting to fall in love don’t go awol for a week or two. If he wanted to be your man he would be.
Yep men can be scared but when they want something they will go for it.
To your question about distance making the heart grow fonder, yes when you are in a relationship, no if you are friends.
Newbie
This kind of man sounds like the one melody posted about. He is not available for a relationship but craves some kind of closeness at the same time. Dont let it fool you. If he is not making it abundantly clear he wants to be with you, be your bf, etc then there are no real signs he is in love with you.
Emma
You said you are friends and then more than friends. He can waste a lot of your time, 90% to his benefit only.
-
AuthorPosts
