Do you see something wrong in this?

I agree this is really odd and seems to still have an obsession with her.

We all have pasts and will bring up an ex from time-to-time which is normal especially if you were married or there’s some significant history involved (several years). But someone you were not even in a relationship with, and only had a brief fling with, is super sketchy, and the fact he’s still stalking her online is not something I would sweep in the rug.

I wouldn’t automatically assume its bad, like an actor type crush where your infatuated with their looks, like a piece of art, but have no desire to actually be with them. She was probably way above his league anyway so I would observe, listen, and pick his brain when he brings her up again to show him you are noticing. If you’re a bold person, like I am, I would ask point blank “are you still crushing, infatuated, obsessed, or in love with her?” This will put him on notice that you are fully aware she exists and might be the shake up he needs to let her go?

I think labeling him as obsessed is a little much. Don’t blow it out of proportion in your mind. And don’t mention a word about it. Don’t make it a bigger deal.

@Ann, it’s like an ego thing going on with him, I actually told this situation to a good friend of mine that studied psychology and she says that she feels that there is more to this story, like maybe they did not have a relationship but since they saw each other everyday during the time he worked on the building that she works in perhaps, he got very excited about this whole situation with her and went too deep in based on looks and like you said the fact that every rich/ millionaire men was chasing after her, he somehow felt the winner that she indeed liked him, flirt with him. And went out with him.

But then he realized she was not what he imagined, she was just looks, a diva, and shallow perhaps.

Another thing he told me is that they almost had sex, mind you when he met this girl her ego was really hurt, her boyfriend had just dumped her for another woman and then married that woman right away, so I bet this was a low blow for this girl. So in my mind heartbroken women (some) tend to do this thing of looking for affection just to alleviate their hurt ego.

So one night they went out they went to my boyfriends apt, drink wine, dance and almost had sex BUT according to my boyfriend he rejected her, cause when they first went out she cried to him and told him “ please don’t play with me or treat me like that man or men did. So this is why he rejected her and they did not end up having sex.

And then the day after this when they saw each other at work he recalls that she gave him this look of hatred and he knew that it was not going any further, like if she was really pissed off. Then they grew apart, then started talking again, but it just did not go anywhere at all. I guess she lost interest in him after what happened and he realized he was getting to hot and heavy with her and she was just emotionally unavailable plus very hurt about her being dumped by her ex.

You’re becoming a bit obsessed with searching his computer. I don’t blame you because I can be OCD too but let me tell you it accomplishes nothing and makes you anxious and miserable. Why is he googling her? That’s weird..can’t he just look at her FB pics if they’re friends? It seems like he is infatuate with her like we can sometimes be with celebrities who are out of our league and highly attractive. But its not really fair to you..I would try to not let it affect your self esteem. He’s with you for a reason–he likes/loves you. If you tell him you went through his search history, he will probably be mad and feel you violated his privacy. Either way…you know him better than any of we do. Maybe you can bring it up in a nonchalant/laid back manner and see how he reacts. Best of luck…

Yes! Totally! Until then do not bring it up, and don’t bring it up then either .
See how he reacts when you talk about the party and definitely watch how he is with her there .

@Vera , he actually does not know that she will be there, neither does he know about this party at all. It’s just an event that happens at the beginning of every month and it’s popular here where I live, very mellow, live music, lots of restaurants. Etc.

I would also check his outlook on life Inc general. He sounds obsessed with luxury. What is that about? I have a feeling your psych friend is maybe on to something with him fabricating stories. To me there is just something off about him

Yeah im aware my posts are outside the scope of your questions but i do think they are very relevant for you to judge your bf right. Lets assume this guy has a crush on her but is not acting on it. Just telling over and over how she was this and that. By itself going to a party and see how he reacts wont solve much of your questions. Imagine he acts a bit flustered. Then what?
When i met my man he had a crush on a girl that lingered on as a sort of fantasy i guess. I wasnt aware. But when i asked some innocent question about his past, this girl turned up. He didnt want to say much about it. After a year he told me more. But it wasnt very interesting. She was way out of his league, married a man and they got 5 kids. But by then he also realized they really didnt have much in common, in a way we had by now. So i overwrote those memories without knowing it.
So what im saying is that in the end its about your relationship and the bond you have. If its strong, you can just ask him how he feels about her and you can even say she popped up on your Google search. You dont need to dress up to gauge a reaction, except for the popcorn. Good luck

A normal bf would have never compared you with her saying dumb stuff like ‘but you are younger’ bla bla. But, just to be sure: how many times has he actually talked like this about her? What im saying next is based on my assumption that its been frequent and not just one time.
He sounds like a pompous shallow inflated frog. And obsessed with looks and money. What even makes him a guy you want to be with? Do you have the guts to realize you deserve better? I would trade him in for a better model and let him do his own work and go chase the model types

@Vera ooo and I forgot to mentioned, you might be shock, but the first time we went out (1st date that is) he took me to the building she works in, it was at night, he wanted to show me the roof so we can see the whole city on top and the beach which is right there. And when the security let us in( they knew him as one of the engineers that work on the building maintenance) this girl happens to be part of the management team of this building so we went to the front desk and he started talking to the concierge guy and asking about all the people that worked there, including her.

Then 2 weeks after he took me to the building again and asked for them again, including HER.

Then months later he was like oh I want to go and say hi to my friends at so and so,,,, so he took me again.

So my question is it normal to do this on a first date? And him wanting to take me to the building were this girl worked?

For what reason especially so I can see her and get jealous or for her to see me with him? What was the purpose of all these times we went to this place?

Do you think he is using you to make her jealous?

Having you next to him as arm candy to make him look like he’s more desirable to her, because somewhere in his twisted mind, she will confess she has feelings for him or something?

If it feels off, you are probably right. Run.

I’m not one to beat around the bush and put it out there to be discussed if I am having an issue with something or someone. Listen, life is too short to not be completely secure in a relationship and feel comfortable talking about a range of topics without upsetting a guy. If he’s going to be all upset it has a literal meaning, in that, you hit a nerve or they would be totally honest and upfront with you—its the one’s who aren’t that will never make you feel secure and who wants that kind of relationship?

Don’t ever let a man turn it around on you like your crazy or something. Hold steadfast and make sure you ask in a very direct manner such as “I think you are still obsessed with this woman and I have a right to know what what the real deal is with her? If he can’t or won’t answer, or tries to make you out to be crazy, then pick your stuff up and walk out. Men understand ACTION and that if the two of you can’t get to the bottom of it or work it out then what do you really have?