Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › Does he like me as a friend or more?
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Ems.
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Ems
So, I’ve been texting this guy for at least 7 months. He lives next where I live, 8min of driving. I really like him. We bond really good togheter, we have the same interests, projects. And he follows me on different social medias also on Spotify. We have really deep conversation about everything : from politics to everyday life. But we have never complimented each other for phisical apperance. He said that I’m kind and I’ve a great sense of humour. He likes my perspective of life, the way I think, what I think, the way I am, he considers me “rare to find”,which is of course quite good. BUT, he never asked me to go out, or at least to get in deep knowing each other. We got a long lockdown here in march/april, and now we’re still in a red zone,so I can understand the fear of meeting new people, I don’t really ask that much, just a signal to understand if he likes me as a friend or more. What do you think, am I losing my time?Please help me.
Raven
You two are friends, text buddies, that’s it…
How did you meet?
Have you met in person?Ems
Well that’s the point. We met online,and we have never seen each other in person.
So you think I’m in a text buddy situation. I understand….. In your opinion, should I continue texting him to see if he likes me or not?
Thanks anyway!Liz Lemon
Why haven’t you met in person? I understand with coronavirus there are lots of restrictions. But surely you could have met for a walk in the park or something this summer. You live an 8 minute drive apart.
I agree with Raven that you’re in a text buddy situation. You said he has never asked to meet you and has not asked you to “get in deep knowing each other”. So he is not showing any romantic interest, or even any interest in getting to know you in person.
If you want to be more than friends with him, you need to meet first. It’s not rational to ask him if he likes you as more than a friend, when you two have not met.
Ems
Thank you Liz. So I suppose that I need to wait until loosen some restrictions…. We haven’t met each other during summer break ’cause again he never asked me, and second he was away from home most of summer season. I think those compliments made me believe he liked me just a bit,or at least he was interested in me. I don’t like at all this texting situation, I’m just bored of it. And I don’t understand why he continues acting like it’s something normal. Anyway maybe I should stop texting, just to not hurt myself further more…
Emily
If you have to ask if a guy likes you, it means he doesn’t. Also, you haven’t met. Don’t get sucked into texting. It means nothing.
Ems
Thank you Emily for your answer.
It’s right he doesn’t like me. I knew it in deep, but of course it’s always hard to admit. I suppose this involves phisical apperance, ’cause again I received compliments on a moral level. What do you think,should I stop texting him even though I like him?Newbie
No i dont think this has anything to do with physical appearance. You just jumped the gun in assuming a guy is interested when he text. But that isnt true. There can be all sorts of things going on. He may not be man. He may not be single. He may in all sorts of other ways not be who he says he is. Guys can be attracted to all sorts of girls without being very emotional about it but there has to be face to face contact. Some guys may try you into sexting. Thats still not an interested guy. What he does show is being nice as in friendly. Nothing romantic at all. If the fact that he is only friendly is hurtful to you then i say yes you should stop. You should also take more time to learn how an interested guy acts like and for you to never overinvest. Date first and observe for a few months. Take the time to learn how to date as it might help a lot not getting hurt
Lane
Ems, people like to talk to other people for no other reason than they like to converse with them. I do this with many people, even in this COVID environment, for no other reason than we like to converse with each other. The only difference is, we talk in person majority of the time because I would find it to be super creepy to converse with a complete stranger who lives so close for that period of time.
If he hasn’t asked to meet you then the answer is simple, it means “not interested in you romantically”. He doesn’t see you in the romantic sense or he would have made plans to meet you by now or discussed it, such as “why don’t we grab a coffee or ice cream and go for a walk at ____ park?”
Here’s how to read a man: If he not thinking it, then he’s not saying it. Men may have a hidden agenda like getting into your pants but they will at least put some effort into it. If a man isn’t even putting effort into that then he’s definitely not interested in anything romantic with you. It’s the ladies job to determine what a man’s motives are AFTER you’ve met and had some time to talk because a lady can figure it out pretty quickly if she listens and observes him for a bit.
He has done none of this, so its safe to say he never intended for it to go further than what it is, a text friendship. Dating 101, if a man isn’t trying to meet you pretty quickly, and after meeting, wants to keep seeing you over a good period of time (3+ months), then its a good sign he’s not into you that way.
Ems
Thank you Newbie and Lane. I understood… he wants only a friend affair with me. Anyway I think he made a big mistake making all those compliments like “I will be trivial but it is really rare to find someone so particular like you – you lights up everything – we have so much in common I’m astonished” not mentioning all the dedicated songs, posts and special goodmorning and goodnights. That’s the main reason I thought, well maybe he’s interested. But in my deep I’ve always wondered myself why he didn’t had the courage to ask me out,why … at first I thought maybe he’s intimidated by myself, or he thinks I don’t like him so he prefers not making a move to avoid a rejection. But going on in time I’m realising that if he had at least a bit interested,he would have made consistent moves towards me. Even though I really like him, really, I think I’m gonna stop texting him and stuff. Do you think he was playing with me all this time?
Newbie
I never think in terms of playing. You let yourself get played or not is more of a fair assessment to me. There are a whole bunch of weirdo’s outthere and a fast bunch has commitment issues for whatever reason. I would think that this guy liked the idea of being close but didnt want to be close. And you sort of did the same. If it feels good there is nothing wrong with it but you cant give it a lot of meaning
Ems
Thank you again Newbie for your answer.
I don’t like this ” text buddies” situation, so from now I’ll stop interact with this guy, even though I like him. He got his chances to make a move, bud he didn’t … that’s the only solution I can make now. I wanna say thank you to all of you that helped me figuring out this stagnant situation.
Who knows what will happen next.Liz Lemon
I think it’s fine to be clear with him & say, “I’ve enjoyed texting you & getting to know you, but I want to date & meet men in person. So I’m going to focus on talking to men who want to date. I won’t be texting with you anymore.” Just be upfront & honest. If you met on a dating site (did you meet him on a dating site?), he should understand that you are looking to date, not just text forever.
Ems
Thank you Liz Lemon. We met on Instagram. He was a classmate of my friend. And again he lives close to me. I don’t want to collect regrets…When I’ll say the last goodbye, should I confess my feelings? Pls tell me what you think about
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