Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Does he want his ex back?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
Kim.
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Rosanna
I (27/f) met a guy (30) about a month ago through my cousin. My cousin went to school with him and they became best friends, like brother and sister actually. Anyways, I moved back to my hometown about 2 months ago and started hanging out my cousin again. We all hung out as a group and I developed an interest in this guy. We eventually exchanged numbers. My cousin found out and warned me that he had just gotten out of a serious relationship. I asked for more details (how long ago, length of the relationship, etc.)
So the backstory – he was with her for almost 2 years, she was his first very serious adult relationship, he wanted to marry her. They broke up in October but officially stopped talking in December – they had planned for him to spend Xmas with her family. Apparently, he was kind of being jackass towards the end of the relationship and so she said that either they go to couples counseling or he could walk. He told her he wasn’t going to go. So she just told him “okay” then left. They haven’t talked since (December).
As I mentioned he and my cousin are like brother and sister so they hang out quite a bit and he confides in her. My cousin told me that he watches her stories every single time she posts. Liked a post 2 weeks ago that said, “the person you’re stressing over, well they’re f****g someone else, let it go.” Or just a few days ago, “don’t lose your mind over someone who doesn’t mind losing you.” My cousin also told me that it was the ex’s moms birthday on the 31st, well he texted the mom happy birthday. My cousin noted that he and the mom weren’t extremely close. Got along, but not close.
So after my cousin told me all of this I confided in my best friend. My best friend said she believes he still wants to be with his ex. I disagree, if he still wanted to be with her he wouldn’t forming other relationships with women. I do, however, still think he’s just grieving the relationship. You can still care about someone and not still want to be with him (why he told her no to counseling).
So is he grieving or does he still want to be with his ex?
Persephone
I wouldn’t date this guy for multiple reasons.
First of all… he refused to go to therapy with the woman he wanted to marry! He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but was unwilling to do couple’s counseling. Read that again… because if he wouldn’t work on the relationship for her, he’s not going to with you or anyone else.
Secondly, they broke up too recently for you to have a relationship with him. He needs to work on himself, heal, and then date. He can’t be 100% focused on you or anyone else until he deals with that relationship ending.
Third, he’s still thinking of her way more than I’d be comfortable with. I didn’t know him, but this feels like pining a bit.
Don’t be that girl. The rebound girl is a really painful person to be and you will only lose. Also, don’t dish about guys you like when they are friends with your cousin! That’s immature and will only cause drama.
Raven
You have been warned.
Newbie
I agree with persphone 100%. Plus i dont see this guy even showing interest in you (which in this case is a good sign since you probably would have fallen for him), just you having a crush. And that crush is acting like a hit mess. So even if your best friend isnt totally right she is still right not to date him. Same with your cousin. Listen to them
Kim
Ever heard of a rebound relationship? That’s what you are to him from what you’ve explained. If you want more in a relationship get out before you get to attached. Have some self-respect and don’t settle for being option B.
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