Does he want me? Is he using me? or is he just unsure?

You have only known him for a couple of weeks. You are expecting way to deep a connection, care and conversation for such a short period of time. He is essentially still a stranger and the two of you are only getting to know each other on a personal level.

Having sex does not create an emotional connection or help develop a relationship. It is physical intimacy only. For women however it often creates a false sense of emotional intimacy as well. Which is why i am guessing you are jumping the horse here bit and expecting too much. Not having deep conversations, or him not following up about the details of your life isn‘t necessarily odd at this stage of dating, i don‘t think.

If i were you i d take a couple of steps back. Let him initiate and don‘t have sex until a relationship is established (unless having it turn into something purely casual is something you are ok with). Him saying he has trouble committing is an orange flag tho, and i would not be surprised if he is looking for casual only, but who knows. I think its way to early to tell

I think you made a few classic female mistakes in a sense that many many women do them and cupcake also adressed some. Are you dating to find a partner long term? If thats the case then you should have said goodbye right when he disclosed he wont commit. First mistake. You took the fact he has had relatlonships as a believe you will turn him over. Now there is always that chance but thats like 1%. And in that 1% case he would have taken his words back (in a serious way) after you walked out of the door.
Then you tell him you will take it slow but have sex on the fourth date. On what planet is that taking it slow? It shows the guy you dont mean what you say. So second mistake. Better not to say anything at all.
I assume you want to date for real prospects but what do you have now? A guy you know doesnt want to commit and have no arrangments about being sexual exclusive. If he would tell you, he would have slept with someone a few days after you, you would be hurt with that right? So the taking is slow is meant to protect your feelings getting hurt. And to have sex when both sides agree to only have sex with each other for now. So you lost that window and talk once you went along with casual sex.
Now dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with casual sex but in most cases it wont get you the guy. Like cupcake said guys dont bond over sex but over having funtimes with a great girl. And Yes thats not easy in these covid days. Or fun
In this case: have low to zero expectations this will come off the ground and try to figure out how to line up what you say and actually do. It will work for you if you do. Also Google 7 steps a guy falls in love. It helps a lot to know that

The truth is none of us here can tell you exactly what will happen because he may already feel the way he feels, know what he already knows etc. So even though I am going to caution you to be VERY MINDFUL of what you do from this point on – it may, or may not make a difference.

I agree completely with what has been written about stepping wayyyyy back, stop having girlfriend expectations and LET HIM LEAD which means let him reach out to chat, to set up dates, to initiate sex. All of it. Telling you he isn’t good at committing, not getting too deep with you during conversation, as well as his texts feeling less intimate after sex are ALL signs he may not be interested in something long term for WHATEVER reason (it might him, it might be you, who knows).

But also think some men (a small amount) can be super reluctant to jump into something – but if a girl is chill for the first little while (especially after sex if bonding hadnt happened yet), doesn’t go crazy on him, lives her own life, let’s him initiate and is just PRESENT and happy – they might see your value and end up pursuing something. The MAJOR point though is, at this juncture, you need to stop caring. He’s not your boyfriend. Even if he was he should be mostly texting you.

So step back. Can yourself. Talk to other men. Get re-interested in all the things you were interested in before this manolescent showed up. Act like a lady. Let him be the man. If he wants something with you – you will know! Either he’ll fade or disappear or – if he only gives you crumbs, no drama needs to happen – if he’s only reaching sporadically or for sex – tell BJ it doesn’t seem like you two are looking for the same thing.

PS never sleep with a guy who isn’t your boyfriend unless you truly don’t care if you hear from him the next day. And especially establish exclusivity in pandemic times.