Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Does he want me with him on New Years Eve?
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 8 years, 11 months ago by
Gemini615.
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Mandy
I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months. In the beginning he did all sorts of things for me and came to see me all the time. He called me and texted me all the time. Now that we’re a bit closer and more comfortable he doesn’t really do as much anymore. I usually only see him at night when we have sleepovers and he comes and sees me after he goes out with “the boys”. I let him go out with the boys all the time and don’t complain, I just do my own thing and see him after, I’m happy as long as he’s going home with me and I trust him.
New Years eve is coming up and I wanted to spend it with him and be his New Years kiss but it seems like he’s just making plans with the boys, I asked him about it and he told me where he’s going but we kind of left it at that. He didn’t really ask what I’m doing or if I’m coming. I don’t know how to ask if I can come or if I should even ask. I could make my own plans and do my own thing but its starting to feel like we’re drifting apart if we’re not doing things together anymore and especially on a special night.
Should I ask him if he wants me there or assume its just the guys and do my own thing?
Should I start talking to other people and tell him that it doesn’t seem like its going anywhere if he’s just with the boys all the time
If he’s not gonna invite me it doesn’t really seem like he’s interested right?Options2
Sorry it sounds like a sleepover relationship.
It is unlikely he is making plans with you.
If you don’t want to be alone. Please call your friends or family. Wish you best of luck.
Options2
If someone I am seeing plan make plans three days before New Year’s Eve. He will have to make other plans with others.
I value people and will ask at least a week or two in advance.
Ashley
It sounds like he’s taking you for granted & I’m sorry to say it sounds he isn’t that into you, & it’s more like friends with benefits. If he was into you, he’d be excited to include you & he’d be prioritizing you. Don’t mention new years & make your own plans. Talk to other guys. Don’t wait around for him. Instead, Think of him as: you snooze you lose! :)
kaye
If he wanted you there he would have made that clear when he said he was “making plans with the boys.” I have to agree with the other poster who said that this only sounds like a FWB sleepover relationship. At only two months in he should really still be trying to win you and showing you how amazing he is. This guy isn’t ever trying. You’re letting him go out with the boys all the time and are happy to be his late night hook up.
It sounds to me like you’re giving up your needs to be with this guy and that’s not a good place to be. I don’t understand why you can’t tell him you want to spend New Year’s Eve with him and be his New Years kiss. Is there any reason why you can’t go along with him and his friends? Are you EVER invited to hang out with them?
I’m not sure it it’s that you’re drifting apart, or that you never were really together to start with, but nothing is going to change if you keep allowing him to treat you like an option and put spending time with his friends above spending time with you. As long as you’re willing to take the leftovers he’s going to keep serving them to you.
I think you need to find a guy who is more interested in making you a priority in his life!
Mandy
Thanks ladies,
I think I will talk to him and ask him whats up. I’ll let him know how I feel, that I do want to spend new years with him and I don’t want to me someone he just comes home to at the end of the night. I think I should start talking to other guys because I don’t really see this going anywhere.
Lena
I wouldn’t ask. I’d do the complete opposite! I’d find the hottest dress, the sexiest high heels, etc., and make plans and then then show him THAT excitement instead. Snooze you lose is right!
I’ve seen it a million times, man only values what he had after he lost it, lol, put yourself first and I hope that you have an outstanding NY’s Eve with some other hottie kissing you.
Vanessa
I agree. Don’t ask. Just make your plans. Men understand actions. Not “do you want to be with me?” Screams insecure! So just don’t accept him coming over after nights out with his friends when he didn’t take you out. You’ve been accepting crumbs so he’s continued. Say he can’t come over or that you’re out with your friends, staying over there’s. Whatever. After enough of that, you can tell him. But he’ll realize if he wants to see you, he’ll have to make an effort and plan something ahead of time and not just show up in your bed. But honestly, I doubt he’ll step up since he seems comfortable with this as fwb. He may just move on so you need to start DATING other people. Dating as in outside the home. You set the precedent in the beginning by how you allow a man to treat you. Men don’t respect women that don’t respect themselves or demand better. Good luck.
Options2
The moment you ask – you devalue yourself even more. But if that is what you want to do and make you feel better. Do it then.
Because if I were the guy and treated you the way he did. He will be like… Here is another woman who ask to be my date again. Sorry to be blunt. he has likely done it before.
Gemini615
Mandy I think you’re on the right track; I don’t see this going anywhere either. Sounds like he just likes to come over at night but not much else is going no on. He’s not integrating you into his life or moving this toward a bf/gf relationship. If he wanted to spend New Years with you then he would have asked you before he was making the plans, or at the very least when you brought it up. I don’t think he has any intention to spend that night with you or invite you with his friends, which is very telling about his level of interest in you.
I agree that you should start dating others and stop prioritizing this guy.
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