Does the fact that I can't stop thinking about her mean I have feelings for her?

You have infatuated feelings based on the sex. Your desire right now is purely sexual. Your feelings are sexual. She wants more than just sex. If you can’t commit to her, leave her alone.

I’m 29.

Yeah I want her all the time, can’t think of anyone else but don’t want to hurt her if this is just lust. I really care about her adn wouldn’t want to see her upset.

I think it is lust for what might be a like a friend person to you. I do not think it is love…

A man in love will have moments of doubt…but when they consider cutting this special woman loose their heart drops….they know their life is better with her in it than it would ever be without her.

You cut and ran from having a relationship…that means your freedom meant more to you than this woman ever could. When you do not cut and run then it will be real love. When you want to stand by her side like a rooted tree it will be real love.

you will not truly know how you fell about her in till you expolore all the possiblites with her. I would ask her on a date so you can get to know her without commiting to her yet. by the way if you guys have been friends for a while she propbely would not hurt you and if things do not work out she will most likely still be your friend. hope this helps.

So you had great sex, and you missed that. But you didn’t mention anything else about her. Do you even know what you like about her? You haven’t seen her recently, and you are probably lonely, having nostalgic memories all the time.

Mark,

You were physical with her last summer 2015?

That was not too long ago. I think time has given you senses back.

If you both have feelings for each other … Why not ?

Love also can start from infatuation …you don’t try – you won’t know.

You have reached maturity – don’t feel rejected if it won’t turn out the way you wish.

You will be on the fence if the girl had dropped you too.

Give it a try.

And of course, you realize the longer you leave her alone just increases the odds of her finding a new guy, so how will you react when if she gets with someone else while you were there just missing her yet telling her? Maybe it’d mean something to her to know.

I’d like to answer Lekeisha when you sked what I like about her. Pretty much everything is the answer.

She’s a really caring friend, she cares about people and I have seen that a lot. She’s a great mother (she has one child who’s 10), she’s so sexy like nothing I have ever seen before, she’s smarter than me, she really honest, she thinks a lot about everything (I used to tell her the was an overthinker but the truth is I like it because I know she cares about things), she’s really affectionate and she feels nice and being with her makes me feel relaxed and happy, she is really, really funny. Like hilarious and everybody likes her. You know I pretty much like eveything about her and most of that isn’t about sex. I’d really like her anyway. I just feel connected to her.

Yeah Lena, she said all that stuff to me.

She said she needed consistency. She said all the same stuff and I know it made her think I didn’t like her as much as she liked me. I did, I just didn’t want to get that close to someone. So I didn’t step up to th role of boyfriend. I guess I knew I was pushing her away. I don’t really want to lose her and I feel like we miss each other. It’s difficult.

I;m not a bad guy, I just didn’t envisage this happenning for me right now.

You only live once. Yes you messed up, but you’re only human. I think, IF YOU ARE READY TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS, you need to sit down and put all your cards on the table. Tell her exactly how you feel and why you reacted the way you did. If she is as understanding as you say and IF she still has those same feelings for you, it will work out! Love will conquer!

I, too, am not over my hot/cold guy from a year ago. I haven’t spoken to him in months. I’ve tried my damndest to move on but can’t. If he were to call me up and sit down and have a heart-to-heart with me and tell me his reasons were the same as yours, I’d take him back in a heartbeat. Showing your vulnerability will not make you weak. Tell her you were scared, there’s nothing wrong with that. Hell, we all are in some sense but for a man to admit it…now, that’s sexy!

My vote: GO FOR IT!!!!

Mark, how many women do you think you’re going to meet who tick as many boxes as she does for you? And what happens if you do meet another who does, will you run away from them too?

That’s up to you, but then all you’re going to be left with is women like the one you more recently were seeing that don’t match up to what you actually want.

I think you should go for it and not let her be “the one that got away”. BUT, if you want her back, you’re going to have to decide that you do want a relationship and you are wlling to committ to her, assuming the relationship goes well. You need to decide if that’s something you can do and want to do before talking to her about this.

Committment is scary and so are relationships. They open you up to being hurt or hurting others, but only by allowing yourself to be vulnerable do you open your heart up to love and all the good things that go with it. A lot of this seems to stem from confidence if you felt you’d lose her. But if she’s still interested after all this time and you ending things, she obviously really likes you a lot.

My husband was a bit like you when we met. He didn’t want a relationship but, like your lady, I told him it was a relationship or nothing. He changed his mind and never looked back. We’ve been together 14 years now.

I’m sorry KateK but I disagree – men are human, we don’t expect them not to have fears whatsoever and that sort of expectation would never be met in reality when it comes to men. They are, after all, people… just like us. I don’t write a guy off for being human. If a man makes a mistake, learns and wants to do better, the mature thing is to understand.