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Newbie.
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Mtl
Hi I am with my boyfriend since January 2019 and since we know each other back in fall 2018 we always understand each other but since late 2019 he became less talkative and more empathetic a couple week ago a we out in a stroll at night then a homeless men came to us asking for a cigarette since neither of us smoke we said to him we don’t smoke and then the men started to say some stuff at me after I stared to cry and I said to my boyfriend why did you not defend me or say don’t listen to him he only said don’t wanna pick a fight with homeless men and that I should not be to sensitive about he did not defend me bcs we had a argument before that that’s why a payback kinda fast forward a girl from his past Send him and me text saying f**k you both of you ect then she send him insult about me I know bcs he show it to me after that the same night as a read it I became to cry little bit and became mad but the same thing happens he sit there only looking at me not comfort me again like with the homeless men the problem with him his that he lack of empathy or I don’t know what else I am becoming more and more sad with him I don’t know why I miss his old him he changed he doesn’t want to return to the old himself the one I fell for why he doesn’t want to
Question is is how make him want to talk his always shut his self out then we argue bcs he never talk after that he say that I always argue the problem his blaming everything
2 he lack of empathy when I cry he don’t confort me like he used to he always stay cold at everything
Now we are growing each day more distant bcs of him
Always shutting himself out never wanting to say are you or saying to me everything gonna be fine when some situations happen when it’s getting to me
I just miss his old self just miss when it was easy to talk not know everything is hard to get into his head nowSs
Have you always been the kind of person that cries so often? It might just be the way you’ve written your post but it seems like you are very emotional and quick to cry … so maybe he is just a bit fed up with it?
No one likes to see a person they care about upset but if that person is always upset and always needing comforting it can be quite draining for the partner and that can just end up being too much for them to deal with all the time.
Raven
Crying is blackmail… With that said, he sounds like a jerk.
Newbie
Homeless persons in general are very sweet since they depend on gifts so im not sure what happened there. But seriously you need a guy to tell another guy off so you both end up in a Bar fight? Thats crazy. I think its good to keep a check on how your guy is looking out for you, but dont quarrel about nothing
Newbie
And please learn about punctuation
kaye
Yes without punctuation it is incredibly hard to read and understand what you are saying. And I my experience is different from Newbie. Most homeless people are not some sweet kind soul, they are alcoholics, drug users or mentally unstable people who will get mad and yell at you if you turn down their request for money, a cigarette, whatever. But I certainly wouldn’t listen to something they said to me or take it to heart and cry. And I wouldn’t expect my boyfriend to get in a fight with this person who could have a knife or weapon on him and certainly doesn’t sound mentally stable!!How did this girl from his past get your phone number? And why do you care if she insults you? You don’t know her! Of course if she’s an ex and wants him back she’s not going to have nice things to say about you. But guess what, he’s with you not her so what on Earth are you crying about?
I’m with Ss, it gets really tiring to be around someone who cries at everything and expects you to console and comfort them when I can’t even understand why you’re crying so I’m sure he’s at a loss!Men do tend to shut themselves off after an argument and go into their man cave. Really think about why you need so much reassurance from him and why you are so sensitive to everything. You shouldn’t be so worried about what total strangers who don’t know you say to you. Now if this were a family member or friend saying something bad about you and upsetting you that’s different and I expect the response.
Tallspicy
And by the way, it was right of the man disengage. I know that it seemed cruel, but given someone stressed, it is best to get out of there, as the person was most likely mentally ill or drugged out…. but not because he was a bad person, but struggling. Just like everyone else.
It is unreasonable to think your boyfriend should have started a fight over some words. Seriously. Any words.
Newbie
Here in the netherlands being homeless or becoming homeless has less and less to do with drugs/alcohol and more with:
self employed people who ran put of work and into debt. They have no social security.
Divorce. Mortgages that have to be split/stopped and not able to find affortable rent appartment.
Children turning 18. Households lose their children allowance, get less social security. So they are thrown out of the house.
Legal immigrants that pay pay pay and pay to their family members and go bankrupt
Illegal immigrants that try to stay alive.Anyway, im my comment that most homeles were sweet i was being a bit ironic since i found the posters post stigmatising.
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