Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Dont know what to make of this…
- This topic has 58 replies and was last updated 3 years, 5 months ago by
tammy.
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Keira
Relax!!!!! Is this guy the center of your universe? He said few nice words, gave some lame attention, sent a couple of low investment texts and you’re ready to hang him so quickly your freedom, time and resources (buying him cigarettes is wtf not his response). He isn’t toxic but low investment and you’re both bad energy.Just let it be and reply to his text like a normal human being if you want to. It amazes me how we as women are so willing to settle and wanna date the first guy that shows us some interest without even thinking if we really like them. Guys should be cherry on top not the whole cake. Perhaps try to consider why you tend to invest a lot too soon and crave false intimacy. Start building up your life and every day put small goals and tasks to achieve and improve yourself or get crafty or creative or write your thoughts down in a journal until you stop preoccupying your brain with guys. You don’t even know him and it’s not healthy a random person to affect your day like that or to base your whole mood on a text message from a guy. I used to be like this and now that I’m looking back to it, oh god wish I would spend my time more productively like master a new skill. Become interesting so your confidence in yourself makes you self sufficient!
tammy
after so many posts on how things are not going well and how he love bombed you, you still ask him if you can buy cigars for him? why would you do that amidst all this??
i think more than him you need to figure why your still bothering with him? and you expect him to respond him a specific way. lol. i am sorry but do you even realise how silly that is?? its obvious he has an abrasive style and hes not diplomatic at all. he just says things as he sees them. he brushed you aside when he was not in a great mood. but you took him out to make him feel well. now despite issues and you having misgivings, your asking him if you can buy him cigars? more than him you need to figure what you want and to what extent your ready to try doing things for men who are this abrasive?
silent treatment is you just being passive aggressive. If he asks you out or tries to engage in a conversation with you, you should tell him what you think. i think your not ready to let him go so have an open talk with him and see how things go. but keep in mind that he is like this and how you want him to behave is not gonna happen. all the best.
Marie
Since my last posting i wanted to let you guys know i didnt go to the lake with him. We hadnt spoken in about 4 days when he reached out. Finally he asked me if i was coming and i said no. He said he missed me… how sweet…not lol. Its officially been two weeks since ive seen him. We had plans to hangout last night but he did respond to my text and didnt call me back. I find it funny that he can view my story on instagram but cant text or call me to tell me what time to come over. Whatever, i dont need this type of jerk in my life. On to the next one.
Liz Lemon
Oh jeez. Don’t engage with this guy anymore. Don’t make plans to meet and don’t fall for his “I miss you” texts. A guy who missed you would make plans to see you & follow through.
I suggest you remove the guy from your followers on IG. FYI, when I watch IG stories they randomly scroll on their own so I see plenty of people’s stories that I did not intend to see. So him viewing your stories is meaningless, he might not even be doing it on purpose. But even if he is, it doesn’t matter. He’s made it clear he doesn’t have serious interest in you. I think if it bugs you to have him viewing your IG you should just block him.
Liz Lemon
Also, 100% what Tammy said– you should ask yourself why you keep engaging with and making plans with this guy, after everything you’ve written here.
tammy
so just because he dint reply to you this time u think hes a jerk and u no longer need him? and u messaged him to confirm your last nights plans? why? as i said before, you need to figure what you want and what you don’t want. and from your actions it luks your not ready to let go of this guy. u dint go with him but that was really pointless bec you again ended up texting him for dinner meet. your all over the place. as in you say one thing and you do another thing.
i was once unable to break off from this one guy who i knew was toxic for me. he was neither here nor there. i decided a clean break was the best way forward since i cldnt cut off just like you. i blocked him everywhere. it was initially a little difficult bec i kept wondering at times what he was up to. i did slip up a couple of times and unblocked him to see his profile. but post that i wld block again. so that he could never reach out. it took some effort but now i don’t feel the need to block at all. its over. in my head and in my heart.
Sandra
Marie, I am sorry. I have been reading this thread and oh my goodness you remind of me 10 years ago. What all of these ladies are telling you is spot on. Take it from me, do not cling on to this guy. He does sound like a bit of a jerk but Marie you are overly emotional and overly invested in someone who has shown you very low interest. The cigar thing was really unnecessary, it almost sounds like you are trying to be his girlfriend when you’re not. To be honest I probably would of had the same reaction he did. Why would you out of the blue offer to get cigars for someone you are only casually dating? Because you’re trying to be nice? I think that was probably just a the justification you used in your mind to do this. Also the whole crying thing, I get it. I am like that too but I think it might of turned him off. Marie stop trying to find reasons to stay in his life. You keep setting yourself up for disappointment. Truly separate yourself from this guy. You two are definitely not a good fit, you are overly emotional and he sounds like he could care less.
Marie
At this point i don’t care what transpires between him and i. I actually have gone on dates with two others guys who both seem more interested in me than this dude. I straight up asked him if he was interested and he said yes. I asked him because at this point like i said, i don’t care. He is very low interest and yes i am overly emotional because i feel like i put myself out there to just be hurt you know? I have a lot to offer someone and if hes too stupid to realize it than thats his fault. I have done what i could to make it work but oh well! More fish in the sea.
tammy
u say more fish in the sea but your action says you want only this fish. and despite all that’s discussed here, you went and asked him if hes interested? that sounds quite desperate you know. and i can tell you this with certainty. you are still unable to get over him. the dates are just rebounds and even you know that. i dont think your really interested in listening to what women are suggesting here so i wont offer any more suggestions. take care
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