Dumped Again and Miserable in City


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Dumped Again and Miserable in City

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #776197 Reply
    Christy

    Hi everybody,

    I was aggressively trying to leave the city where I live. I moved here four years ago and it isn’t me. I was diagnosed with depression about a year ago and about three months ago I was told I no longer had it. During this time period I kept running into this guy I dated. We were previously exclusive and he dumped me by blocking me. He begged me to give it a second chance and out of a mixture of loneliness and curiosity I said ok. Things went well but when he got angry there was no talking him down. Eventually history repeated itself and he dumped me and blocked me. I’m fine with it being over (although it stings) but I’m scared for my depression and loneliness. I don’t really have anyone to lean on and moved here just for the job. My friends and family live away and I feel stuck, disrespected by this guy, and just miserable. How do I get over this when my support system is so far away and I’m already in a fragile state?

    #776199 Reply
    Lane

    Have you considered moving back? If you’re this unhappy I don’t think its worth being so miserable living for a job. If making less to be near family and friends would make me happier, I would chose that v. sacrificing my happiness for a paycheck.

    #776208 Reply
    Better off single

    Depression is like a bad habit and you can choose to let this guy stay in your head or fight it to get over it. Time will make it better. Just give it time. Do what makes you happy and surround yourself with people who respect you. He is just one person not the entire world.

    #776216 Reply
    K

    I”m not a mental health professional so I can’t say if you’re depressed or not. What I do see is the way you talk suggests you are still living a disempowered victim story, hence your depression. I bet you walk with your head literally down.

    You’ve been living in a city for four years and you’re miserable?? Holy moly girl, it’s time to sit up get your pride back and take control of your life. What do you want? What do you really really want? What makes you smile and feel fired up? Focus on that. There are loads of jobs and loads of other cities. Make a decision you’re going to get all that life has to offer you and make a plan. Get your LD support network in on your plan and go for it.

    You can do this. No one else can. I wouldn’t bother with dating right now, get yourself back on track or you’re going to keep attracting duds.

    Hugs.

    #776218 Reply
    Tallspicy

    yeah, I must say – I get that you hate where you live, but it is up to you to create a life. If after 4 years you have no support system there, that is because you never created one. The problem with this is that it is very unattractive to people to date people with no life. And it keeps you in emotional pain because you have nothing that brings you value outside of a relationship.

    I am not trying to make you feel bad, but you are in a self imposed dis-empowered state and now you giving your value and happiness to someone who not once, but twice let you down.

    When this man came back – did you say to him – what is different this time? And the answer is – I have gone to therapy and I realized I did not treat you well, and I no longer live my life that way.

    #776230 Reply
    Christy

    Thank you all for you responses. I really appreciate everyone’s honesty and bluntness…I really needed to hear it and appreciate it more than you all know!

    #776235 Reply
    Anon

    To be fair, past a certain point, building a support network from scratch is really hard. As challenging as dating is, so is making the types of friends that will support you in down times. I’d say its HARDER once you get out of college to move to a new city and make new girlfriends than it is to find a boyfriend.
    It’s pretty easy to meet “acquaintances” to go have fun with.
    I’d focus on yourself, treat yourself kindly, lean on family with some calls etc and get your life righted.

    Also, never give anyone a second chance, friend, or boyfriend who ends things by blocking / ghosting you. That’s such a toxic, awful behavior. You get into a relationship, you have the obligation to end it in a dignified manner (unless that person is abusive).

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
Reply To: Dumped Again and Miserable in City
Your information:





<blockquote> <code> <pre> <em> <strong> <ul> <ol start=""> <li>