Early stage of dating

Where do you live?

Why is he responding to you? He should be doing all initiating until he is very consistent with dates and calling, and it is not a great sign that it has taken almost 3 weeks for the next date unless there are good reasons. No, you do not act like boyfriend girlfriend and you do not ask if he is seeing someone. You get your mind on other things, you pay attention to words and actions matching, you watch for escalation in terms on talking and seeing each other, you ask on the 3or 4 th date what he is looking for (not if he seeing anyone else, and pay attention to what he says), and do not sleep with him or sext in any way until he is your boyfriend.

Oh, and if he goes away, you don’t care because you don’t emotionally invest in anyone until they are your boyfriend. Be warm and playful and responsive, but do not invest.

You need to be prepared that 100 miles is long distance and does not set you up well for a real relationship. Men don’t bond well long distance as the talking in between does not make them feel more connected. Keep way back… let him do the work and don’t get invested until he is real. That means exclusive and your boyfriend.

I agree with the advice not to rush, get to know him first. No need to ask if you’re exclusive yet when you don’t know each other, just see if he stays consistent and you both naturally emotionally escalate over time. And assuming you’re in the US, becoming boyfriend/girlfriend most typically happens around 3 months (give or take a few weeks). Assume that he’s still talking to others, and feel free to do the same, until he says he’s not seeing anyone else. You can ask about seeing others if you’re still feeling unsure after a few weeks and several dates, though if he’s not making it clear by then that he’s most interested in focusing on you even if you’re not officially bf/gf yet, that’s not a great sign. But relax, enjoy, and get to know him without expectation yet. Do ask what he is looking for in general though, to make sure it matches with the kind of relationship you want. If he says I don’t know, something casual, and you want a serious relationship, move on from that mismatch.

The pandemic exception to waiting to ask, though, is if you’re worried about exposure risk. If you’re getting physically close to him, like within 6 feet, you can and should ask him lifestyle questions about how he’s handling the pandemic to make sure you know the amount of risk you’re taking on. I kept meeting new guys for a couple months after I met my boyfriend, but I was only going on either outdoor distanced dates or virtual dates to not put anyone at greater risk. So I didn’t directly clarify if I was still dating others as he didn’t ask so early on into us dating, but my now boyfriend still knew I wasn’t getting physically close to anyone else and vice-versa, for health and safety reasons.

I disagree with the comment about distance, though, especially during the pandemic. It depends on the guy. If he’s really ready for something serious and actively looking for it, distance won’t interfere with bonding. You need to keep talking regularly between seeing each other in person (maybe do video dates when there’s lock down), but if you’re the right match for each other and want the same level of relationship seriousness, you’ll be fine. My boyfriend and I are at a similar distance to yours plus were dealing with the early months of the pandemic, and we bonded just fine anyway because it was a compatible match and he was at a life stage where he looking for a serious relationship with the right person. Once we made things official in person though, we worked out how to see each other frequently. We’ve been doing that for several months and have plans to move in together.

You’re not up to that yet at all in your situation and should be focused on just getting to know who this guy really is, but I wanted to give a perspective that pandemic distance doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker, as long as you are okay with mutual effort and can eventually have an end date for the distance and live closer together.