Ending my life…

Dear Leila
I want to thank you for a great comment. You gave such amazing advice. I just wish I have that enough courage to do that..I will try to be strong. Right now I was very depressed and it’s always hard for me to smile..but I know I can overcome what I’m experiencing at the moment. Thank you for helping.

My dear Jessica
Thanks again! I will stay here too for better recovery. You, ladies makes me feel stronger. I feel your presence as you post here that help me.

I’ve been through the same thing not one time but twice with two different guys. And I felt the same way, so believe me I know the feeling. But I can assure you, the feeling will pass and you will get over it.

In college I was in love and pregnant by an athlete and at the time I seen him in blockbuster renting a movie with an supposed to had been ex girlfriend named crystal, and it was the worst feeling in the world, so I got an abortion.

Then later was dumb enough to go back with him, one day something felt wrong and I popped up to his house and his roommate let me in and him and that same girl crystal was laying in the bed with him. We got in a huge fight, he called the police on me. They came but instead arrested him, And told me to go home. Well as soon as I got home a totally different girl named Tish called me and told me she was his real girlfriend and she had the same run in with the girl Crystal but instead he denied Crystal in front of Tish, the same way he did me in front of Crystal. At this time I was only 20, but I finally built enough courage to leave him alone. The other two girls countinued to go back and forth with him for many years, like 8 more years of fighting with each other. Well funny to say he did not end up with either of them, but instead had a daughter with Someone completely different and in 2015 over 10 years later is begging to marry me, aka his previous side chick ( A title I did not sign up for)

Story number 2. In 2011 I met the perfect guy so I thought. I let him know how hurt I was about the previous guy, he made it clear he was not that type of guy. He continued to push the marriage topic and even continued to try and make me choose a ring. So I thought I had nothing to worry about until one day I checked his facebook and noticed a girl with a profile picture of her and him. I then popped up at his house in the middle of the night and he also called the police. The police told me he had a girlfriend in side that he lived with and her son lived with him as well. This is his same place that I’ve spent much time at and there was never one sign of s girls stuff and believe me I looked. Anyhow, the police told me to leave. I did not, just long enough for the police to leave. So when the guy walked out I confronted him and then he dumped me, told me he was back with her and to leave him alone. I was devastated. We worked together at Chase Bank, I was so hurt I quit my job 30 minutes later because I could not stand to see his face again. I was hurt, so hurt I felt the same as you. And this made me pick up a bible and start listening to my pastor. Faithdome.org. Any how for months I could not get over it, then my friend seen him in Vegas with the same girl, that hurt even more and was also embarrassing.

But do you know during the whole time from 3 days after he broke up with me he had created a fake facebook page to stalk me, and my entire family. Now it’s 3 years later and he still has not married this so called ex, which is awkward because he was willing to marry me in the first 3 months of dating, but I refused. He is still stalking me and dating her. He even just recently moved in my mothers neighborhood, he calls and hangs up on my phone everyday. I got a subpeona to have sprint uncover the blocked number.

Now one thing I can gurantee you is if the guy really loved his ex, he would not have ever been with you. In both of my cases neither guy married that ex and come to find out both girls were helping these guys out with rent, co signing for car loans and having anal sex. 3 things I was never going to do any of. Some girls have a way of never letting go and they know how to steal these guys and wing them back in, read Proverbs. But if these guys had any real good intentions with these wonan, they would have never been with you. In most of these cases the girl is usually contributing something he needs including, money, special sexual needs and etc.

In both my cases God has brought each one of these men underneath my feet just as he promised. And they desperately want me back after all these years but I have now found me a man better than them both, my highschool sweet heart returned after 11 years and told me he had been in love with me the whole time, and is only getting married of it’s with me, which I already knew the whole time I. My heart.

So if you think this guy does not like this girl. He probably does not, he is just using her. However if I were you I’d run for the hills because these kind of guys are selfish and God will get him back for you.

But trust me hurting yourself over it won’t help you or hurt him or her but, becoming a stronger woman that he can no longer have will make him be the one ready to kill him self. He will be miserable if you show him that you are strong and can move on. Believe it or not men like him get a kick out of woman going crazy over him and you hurting yourself will make him feel more like a man, not an idiot. He is selfish!!!! Don’t have sex again, make the next man marry you first. There is a reason God made it that way, trust me.

Dear Lovelylady
Oh my, I was just making a thank you comment when I saw yours. I felt it from my heart, your story was very inspiring. Thank you. I was never been this crazy with a man before, only to this guy. I feel like he took away every feelings I have for other people. So the pain was totally killing me. I know and I will be over it soon I hope. Thanks again.

No problem. And I rarely posted on any boards, like one time a year. Lol and it’s my first time on here. So it was really random, I ended up on here and telling that whole story I used to be ashamed of for years.

But I’m glad it can help. But I promise you will look back and laugh later. It will be another story for your future daughters. I can tell you most woman models, beauty queens and all have been through similar and even much much much much worst from my experience of talking with woman, trying to find ways to cope. Just take it as a lesson learned. Trust me, we got out the easy way, some woman marry these type of men and find out 20 years later, 5 kids in that they married a selfish, heartless jerk.

Sorrow, we are completely here for you. I’ve been off this site for ages but I will be checking each day to see how I can support you.

I got very ill earlier this year. First it was physical and then it became severe depression. This is not the first time I’ve had depression, but it had been a long time so it sneaked up on me. I was so out of my head after being sick so long, losing my business, having had to break up with someone I really cared for in December (although I handled that well thanks to the support of the ladies here) and a lot of trauma from my past, I did try to harm myself. I”m lucky I did not succeed and lucky there is no damage. So when I say I’ve been in your shoes just a few months ago, I mean it. I got help my from doctor and other professionals and support from friends and now I’m well on the road to full recovery, to where this will never happen again because even chemical depression is caused by the habits of your thinking and beliefs. I”m now going through the process to train as a peer advisor for the local Recovery College (I’m in the UK, totally different system than the US, not much help for depression/suicide on the NHS) so I can help others because I’d like to prevent people from having to hit bottom as severely as I did. It is avoidable.

(This is why I’m taking issue with Maria’s comments because while I”m sure she’s well intended enough, some of what she says ranges from not helpful to downright negative, irresponsible and damaging. Some of the things she says are absolutely the last things someone suicidal should be exposed to. I can’t stop her from posting here and clearly she is not going to stop for some bizarre reason, but I can speak up and counteract what she says. I’m glad to see others are understanding where I’m coming from.)

Harming yourself is not the answer to anything and there is help out there. I had to really work to get help and then I had to like and love myself enough to take care of myself and treat myself well. I spent months in bed unable to do anything – was barely eating, which doesn’t help. Seven months of my life spent in bed. I got agoraphobic for a while and didn’t get out of my nightgown or bathe or leave the house for days on end. I”m so glad this is behind me and I can see the sun and appreciate people again!

Your life is worth a lot, hang in there. You will learn to build your self confidence and self esteem to where you will look back and see that no one is worth being this upset about. When you feel good about you and people leave your life, you will feel sad but it will not cause you to implode. Really. I had to start at ground zero. I found I had no idea who I am and I’m having a great time discovering me these days. I finally learned about men by reading everything on this site. You CAN have a happy and loving relationship with a man! When you get straight with you, everything else falls in line. You handle the bumps on the road of life with grace.

Please don’t drown your pain in alcohol or anything else, it will only make things worse. Lean into the pain and it will break up. It’s only stories in your head. You made them and you can also choose to make things that feel a lot better. I promise the pain will not kill you, even though it feels like it. The saying that is always darkest before the dawn is true, I’ve found.

Hugs. We are with you.

I just happened to open the site and there your post was – I’m glad I was able to be the first responder. There is a God! :)

Thank you Lovelylady, you are truly lovely. It’s a goodnight for me :) I’m lucky you dropped here your advice about your experience, it’s very helpful.

Lovelylady, I filed a leave for work. My boss is very understanding, I was out of focus almost two weeks now after that and never go to work. So crazy i know. And you are right, I have to show him I can live without him. I’ve lost my self and dignity with him.

Hi Sorrow I am thinking of you and here for you! Just know that I am here with you even when I cannot write. I will write soon. I want to read everything that has been said. I am also moving and have a lot to do but still here and will be here, during packing I am off the next two days and I am happy to listen, share all you can and want, whatever you need to about the relationship. One of the best therapies is to write out what you are feeling, to talk about it, to let it go. There are many techniques and I can write about that. At first you may not be able to do anything but need to have people around you even here online whom you can talk to and who are interested in you and truly care.

Meant “Happy Again” Lol!

See you’re already doing much better than I in this situation???? I full on quit, lost my entire savings looking for another job. The pain lasted almost 2 years, but only because I let it last that long by looking at facebook, Instagram accounts looking for more pictures and hoping he would call and apologize. Oh please don’t do that to your self. And I know this will sound crazy, but don’t wait on him to fix it, sometimes guys will take years before they apologize or even call, it’s not always months or days. So if you find yourself waiting for that call, don’t! you may drive yourself crazy, simply change your phone number, email and etc so you don’t ever have to worry if hes going to call because you will have the security to know he cannot, even if you want him to. And when he finally does call and realize he can’t reach you, ohhhh but you will see how the tables turn. He will want to know why you weren’t waiting on him.

I can’t wait for the day you realize you’re over him, you will be so confused on how you even liked him this much. That’s one gift I believe God gave woman over men, we fall in love but we have the power to fall right back out and back in love again with someone else. Men have a much harder time loving another woman the same, which is why I don’t understand why they take the risk of screwing up so royally. I think most of them think woman are so in love and can’t move on from them because of our brief painful moments like this. But the truth is we can and once we do, we don’t look back, only they do.

Just Remeber my highschool sweet heart did not pop back up until 33 to express his feelings, and if one of his cousins had not been telling me for years he was in love with me since highschool, I would think he had a motive and would have never took him back. But he did not play me, the way the other two did either.

The first guy that played me came back with in weeks, but only because he really had no remorse and just needed to keep all his booty calls in tact. but the 2nd guy never officially contacted me, he only stalked online with fake facebook accounts and has been calling my phone for years hanging up. Yes the same one that told me to leave him alone. Lol. I had to have police uncover the person under the fake accounts and blocked numbers to even know it was him.

And lastly, let me tell you, don’t lower your standards either, making the mistake of thinking the nice guy will be better. That’s the one that hurt me the most because I wasn’t expecting it.

My highschool sweetheart who came back around was a NFL player who is the cutest of them all, he never cheated, he Just hid his emotions really well , so I actually left him because I was scared of all the girls who liked him.

Now the first guy that played me was a straight A student athlete that now works as a pyscologost???????Right!!!! Lol The other guy is a regional banking mortgage manager at Chase. So the point is the guy that you would think is more of a jerk (nfl player) was the sweet heart and the nice guys turned out to be the jerks. So don’t fall for that get a nice guy thing either.

I truley come to realize we’re only hurt so much, not because we were in love but because you can’t believe he played you. And after I got over him, I finally realized I never even Loved him, was just hurt I got played. Lol that’s probably all you’re experiencing, I would bet money on it. Lol