Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Ex best friend contacting me. What does this mean?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 3 years, 3 months ago by
Jose Bruckner.
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Bee789
Hi all. I’ve been No Contact with my ex for 6 weeks today. We broke up 6 weeks ago so went straight into it and he has not once tried to contact me. He broke up with me. I’ve been doing much better. I reread prior posts here and realized I’m going to be okay. This week has been less painful than the week before. I’ve gone out on dates just for fun, went on a vacation for 2 weeks, trying to be positive at work and with friends. All is okay.
2 things happened. First thing is about 2 and a half weeks ago my ex changed his profile photo to one I took of him on a romantic holiday we took together a few months ago. The photo is a crap photo so I’m not sure why he changed it to that. He changed this right after I announced on Facebook I was going on a vacation overseas. I booked this vacation very spontaneously so he did not know about it. Him changing his profile to that photo really upset me but over the holiday, I let it go.
Today his best friend contacted me on Facebook. His best friend is in a committed relationship of 2 years. He’s not trying to get with me. He’s also into a very specific type of girl and I don’t fit that type at all. I also have no relationship with this guy. We’ve hung out in a group setting but we don’t have one on ones, we didn’t bond, etc. I’d understand if me and the dude were close, but it’s odd he contacted me at all as I viewed him as an acquaintance when me and my ex were together. It was random. He said, “Hey how you have been? What’s new? How was your trip, looks like you are having fun”. I haven’t replied yet and will give myself a day to think about what to say.
Do people do this? Try to get info about their exes through friends?
Hannah
Yes people try to get info on exes through friends. It sounds like that’s what’s happening here but obviously this is a guess. It just sounds like the most plausible reason.
Maybe your ex regrets his decision. Or maybe his ego is hurt that you booked a fun trip instead of staying home sobbing because he ended with with you. Or maybe his friend was just being friendly.
It sounds like you’re doing a great job of moving on. Don’t let this derail you! Just know the ex will come back and directly ask you if he wants to get back together. Don’t be part of any games he may be playing.
I’d just send a light, casual response back and leave it at that.
Bee789
Thank you! I sent a casual response back and didn’t ask any questions or volunteer any information other than I’m doing well and my holiday was great. Difficult to not overthink it but I’m doing better today and you are right. If my ex wanted to reconcile or be friends, he’d get in touch directly and not reach out through friends. His friend read it but hasn’t replied so hopefully that is that. Thank you!
Newbie
Bee, be careful here. Your ex might come back not only to reconcile but because he is bored, has nothing to do, wants an ego stroke. So dont fall for it. He broke ot up, he didnt want you. Keep that in mind. Youre dping great, dont let him back in your head. Keep doing great
Bee789
Yeah I’m being careful. I sent his friend a closed off response, no response required at all. And he keeps asking me questions about my life so I’m feeling like my ex is behind this since now he is sending me more messages. My ex also works with his best friend, so I find this immature if my ex is trying to info through him. I have a date tonight, tomorrow and a party this weekend so just going to keep moving on. If my ex does want to reach out to reconcile, trust me, I’ll be back on this board asking for advice in case I get tempted to get back with him!
Nat
Be very careful, if your ex is using his friends to find out how you doing he is far from wanting to ask you back. He is missing you, probably missing sex and intimacy as well, breakups are hard even if you yourself initiate them, but this does not mean he changed his mind. If he changes his mind in a serious way you’d know it.
Bee789
You are so right Nat! I’ll remember that. I’m his first serious relationship, the first girl he dumped and I was a lot of firsts for him considering it was his first intimate relationship with someone. If my gut instinct is correct, and it is him reaching me through his friends, then I’m not surprised as he probably doesn’t know how to deal with this. But if he did want to get back together or be friends, he will find the courage to reach out and at least speak with me directly.
Paige
I always find it strange when a guy dumps you but still wants to know what’s going on in your life (more than he should know). He lost that privilege. And I commend you OP, for not falling for it and recognizing mind games when you see it. If he wants to talk to you, he should man up and stop using his friends as messengers. That right there should be a good reason not to get back together with him.
Jose Bruckner
My ex and I had broken up about three months ago. I had broken up with her and it was mutual since we only had broken up because we were both so busy with our own lives that we couldn’t find time for each other, although we still had feelings for each other It just didn’t seem right. A couple of months go by since we’ve broken up, and we’re now in “no contact”.. Her friend messages me and asks me to tell my ex that she had been trying to contact her, but couldn’t. The first time I let it go and didn’t think too much of it, as I told my ex and she contacted her again… But then, less then 2 weeks later the friend comes back to me saying my ex had made a new account, but she couldn’t find her. What does this mean?
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