Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Ex Vandalizing my Car
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
Liz Lemon.
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Melissa
Ex and I went out for a year. I thought all was well, he never indicated he was unhappy, always said I love you, can’t let you go and big hugs after our dates at night.
Then all of a sudden he’s “busy” a lot and we dont hang out as much. I’m concerned and ask him what’s up with that. To my horror, he comes right out and says he’s trying to fix this lady’s furnace every night for the last 2 wks.
He’s super stressed thinking she doesn’t want to hang out with him. That’s why he was helping her. This woman is married with 2 toddlers! WTF? HHe is also getting flack at work from Chis boss but he didn’t go into too many details on that.I was fed up with him being obsessed over this woman and told him it’s not okay. He started spending less and less time with me so I asked what he wanted – me or her? He said me but actions didn’t match words. A week later he called and said he couldn’t give me what I needed so it’s best we go our separate ways. I agreed and that was it.
I think he has been driving to my place late at night & purposely putting small gauges and marks on my car doors & bumper. A week before I took car in for tune up, dealer pointed out two small scratches I should get touched up.
Now I see small gauges, pen marks used by construction workers on several areas plus large finger prints on driver side window. He builds houses for a living so has lots of tools he could use.
I haven’t had any unpleasant associations with neighbors or friends that would cause someone to take any kind of revenge. Someone is definitely targeting my car at night.
Would my ex have some sort of grudge against me? I thought we ended it on amicable terms.
cupcake
Are you sure those marks and scratches didn’t get there by accident? I m having a hard time understanding why someone would go to the length of driving up to your house at night only to leave small gauges and pen marks? That you didn’t even notice until someone pointed them out to you? What would he gain from that?
Melissa
I already knew about 2 small scratches that the dealer pointed out. Those were the only ones at that time
A week later I noticed new pen marks and gauges that weren’t there before taking the car in for a tune up.
Suddenly all these gauges and pen marks start appearing all over my car a week later. Car sits in my parking spot most of the time as I don’t drive much.
If I took my car out to the grocery store, etc & parked in various spots I could see then as possibly accidental from otherbm car doors opening & closing in my vicinity. But my car is at home most of the time and no other vehicles park near me.Lane
All you can do is buy a camera that has a good night system. I use EZVIZ for my business and they are super crisp during the day and night! Does your door face your car? If so one of those doorbell type cameras could work too.
Without any proof you can’t know if it was him, or teenagers with too much time on their hands scowling the neighborhood and possibly doing it to other cars too.
Newbie
Im still hung up on the fact he couldnt fix a furnace in 10 days. So from that it would make sense he cant properly keyscratch a car but make baby dents. In general i think you are taking a big leap assuming its the ex. Its makes no sense
Melissa
Thanks Lane, that’s a really great idea! Door doesnt face car. I am going to look installing the camera inside my car. Hopefully I can find one that starts recording when it detects movement around outside.
This is the only way to know who it is – teenagers or the ex.Very strange these marks are appearing all over my car. I also got two hang calls from a “private” number. Person on other line was silent but I could hear like someone was there & just hung up after I said hello a few times.
Liz Lemon
This isn’t likely, but could it be the other woman and not your ex? You don’t know what he’s told her about you.
I had an experience with an ex years ago– I broke up with him and heard nothing about him for years– he eventually got with another woman, and told her all kinds of stories of how I’d broken his heart and screwed him over (all were untrue). This woman actually tracked me down and contacted me! She definitely was mentally unstable and had lots of issues. I only know all the lies he told her because she proceeded to tell me how my ex “wasn’t able to love her” because I’d broken his heart. But in reality he was just using me as an excuse to screw around with this woman and string her along, and when she pressed for a deeper commitment, he’d always use me as an excuse as to why he couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t see that, she was in too deep with him. Any mentally healthy woman would have seen the BS and walked away. To this day I can’t believe she tracked me down and contacted me to discuss him when I had washed my hands of him years earlier! But in her mind, we had some great love affair that was keeping him from moving on to be with her.
Anyway, who knows who’s screwing with your car, and calling you to hang up. It seems strange to me that it would be your ex, since he’s the one who ended it and it sounds like it ended amicably. But who knows what he’s telling or doing with this other woman, and how she’s taking it. People can be very weird.
Melissa
Wow Liz. That woman contacted you to discuss him? I bet you were horrified. What kind of a woman does this? Unstable I’m sure.
I plan to install a camera to find out whose doing this. Hope the results, if any, are not too shocking. I will take my evidence to the police if I see anyone laying their hands or tools on my car!
Liz Lemon
I was definitely shocked! And horrified too. Like I said, it’s unlikely, but life experience has taught me that you just never know, when weird things start happening it might not be what you think. The camera is a good idea. It’s the best way to get hard evidence. Hopefully you can get it resolved soon, good luck!
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