Excuses?

I can see why you were insulted. He wants you FOREVER, but doesn’t want to spend $3,000 right now! If he didn’t have a good job, financial security and savings I would side with him. But having all those things it does make it sound like an excuse. HOWEVER, I will add that in this day and age I think it really is prudent to live together and see how well you get along BEFORE you get married. There is so much you learn about someone living with them you just can’t while dating. But it’s totally up to you whether that be before or after you get engaged. I can certainly understand once you move in you have lost all leverage in getting an engagement ring. You would then have to move out if it went for months or even years with no ring or marriage in sight.

I’m a very practical person, and your financial situation is none of my business, but what about a compromise? For example, I assume with you moving in it will be saving both of you money. I mean if you have rent you are paying you can now put that towards his rent/mortgage. Or you would be splitting utilities previously the both of you were paying. Is it possible he would be saving $250/month? If so, that’s $3000 in a year! He could get you the ring, and finance it for 12 months and use the savings in living together to pay for it! Or the two of you could decide on a smaller amount for a ring and it take even less time. This is something you are going to be wearing the rest of your life so don’t skimp on it. Get what you want. 

The whole reason I am insulted is bc he has initiated most of the marriage talks and then he comes at me with that. The night before he asked me what my ring size was and then the next night that. He keeps telling me he wants forever well then I do too so what are we waiting for. The fact he had planned on doing it and didnt do it also bugs me, however he doesnt know I know that. And like I said I dont need a 3k ring. To me if he really meant all he said , to me you cant wait to get your life started and you would just do it and stop talking already especially the fact we are in our 30s we know what we want and dont want