Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Feeling insecure
- This topic has 12 replies and was last updated 3 years, 3 months ago by
Raven.
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Em
Hi there,
Needed some help here.
My partner is a divorced father and do not have any friends. He is going on a meetup hike to make friends. I noticed there are mostly single women going in it. Any questions about the members etc is leading to him saying that I don’t trust him!
Three years ago he did not let me go to a similar hike with meetup group! I feel he is a hypocrite and feel worried that he will cheat on me. We are going through a rough patch which isn’t helping!I’m feeling confused whether I should wish him a good day tomorrow or should I not say anything or say something. He is not getting my points at the moment. Or maybe he is but refusing to accept! Please advise thanks
Raven
Why hasn’t he invited/included you?
Why haven’t you mentioned 3 years ago?
Em
He says that I will only come along to keep an eye on him when he wants to make friends. If I am with him he won’t be able to do that.
I didn’t because I don’t do things that my partner is uncomfortable with.
Lindsay
If he’s never given you a reason to not trust him, I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. You don’t want him to resent you for preventing him from making friends
Raven
You say you two are going through a rough patch, more information please…
Also, if it smells fishy, there’s usually fish involved…
Em
He comes with a series of trauma. Gets triggered over small things. Winds me up and makes me angry. When I’m angry I threaten him but then I cool down but he takes a long time to cool down. He has done and said a lot of disrespectful things to me. He came back and telling me that he made two friends but won’t tell me the names because otherwise he thinks I will stalk them. So he is going to hide names. He wants to know all my friends names and where I go and who with . He won’t tell me anything! I’m not ok with this behaviour!
Raven
Why do you remain in this toxic ‘relationship?’
Em
because breaking up feels too painful and imagining him with someone else feels too bad and because when we are good we are too good and my brain seems to register only good times so I find it difficult to think that I we cannot work things out
Claws
If someone isn’t transparent with his life, I have no business trusting him with my life. Period.
Raven
He ain’t gonna change…
You can stay in this toxic soup & be unhappy -or you can work on changing your thinking that keeps you stuck with this boy.
It’s up to you… Please find a trained someone to help you.
Liz Lemon
It’s a red flag to me that the guy has no friends. Like, he has NO FRIENDS whatsoever? Why not?
I agree this relationship sounds toxic and unhealthy. You get angry and threaten him? He gets triggered over small things? Why does he think you will stalk his friends if you know their names- have you done that before? You both sound like you have issues you need to work on.
Em
Update: three days back BF got me drunk and did bad things with me when I was not fully concious. Then demanded that I write a letter stating that I am capable of making false allegations otherwise he will break up with me. I was going to do that when I took a friend’s advice and he came over to ask what exactly has been going on. Made me block him. I am feeling quite scared, confused and hurt at the moment.
Raven
Please file a police report & maybe a restraining order also.
You need to distance yourself from this person immediately!
Why does this guy have such a grip on you?!
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