Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Female friend he can’t let go
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
Tammy.
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Jasmin
I was in a 5+ relationship with this guy and the reason that we got into a huge fight was because he’s always had this one female friend who he can’t seem to stop talking to. I was made aware of her in the begging of our relationship when I saw a conversation on his phone that looked a little too friendly. I told him I didn’t want him talking to her anymore. I was not aware but over the years he continued to talk to her. She came to visit him one day from out of state and he got a hotel for her. He lied said he was running errands when in reality he was going to hang out with her and another friend. This caused a huge argument and break up. He admitted he had sex with her “because I left him” we later tried working out things. BUT he refuses to end the friendship with her even though he says it’s platonic and they have known each other for 11 years. This has been an ongoing problem and I am at the point where I want end things. Even if I wanted to try how could I ever even move forward with the relationship when she’s still in the picture and she has admitted that if I weren’t in the picture she would try to be with him but he wants to be with me…….
Rubi
I say this all the time, if your man has that one female friend you don’t feel comfortable about then there is a reason. Some people will argue that men and women can be friends and maybe there is such a thing but I don’t really agree.
Your instincts were correct now it’s been validated. Do not accept him back especially when he won’t give up that “friendship”. It’s out of the question. There’s nothing platonic about them.
Anon
I can relate somewhat. The thing is- you can’t tell your partner what to do in terms of not being friends with someone. Your partner needs to determine the level of the friendship and how it impacts your relationship. Clearly he is not enforcing that boundary by actually sleeping with her. I think this is a no-win situation and deal breaker. That is disrespectful to your relationship by lying to you, going behind your back, and keeping such an intimate relationship. There’s no way your relationship with your partner can improve if he’s engaging in these contrary behaviors.
Raven
Move on… This relationship is grounded.
Pat
She is not platonic if he slept with her. I don’t blame you for being upset. He’s totally disregarding your feelings. This had been going on for 5 yrs in your relationship? I would have nixed him long ago. Good bye so long, have a nice live is what he should hear from you.
Time is so precious. I hope you can move on after the grieving process and find peace. Be well.
Cassy
darling you don’t need this kind of relationship
M
Definitely what everyone else said. End it, unless you’ve got a penchant for unbearable pain, suffering, misery, heartbreak and wasted time that you’ll never get back. No-one needs that kind of crap in their life.
If I were you, I’d let her have him.
Tammy
He cant let go of her and you cant let go of him. Let him go. This relatnship has run its course
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