Fiance ghosted me… can't cope

What happened to make him do this? Was there a fight or were you having problems in the relationship? Is he having personal problems? I’m very sorry you are going through this but it seems there must be more to the story?

Hi girls,
No we haven’t had any arguments. The last time we saw each other was when he stayed at mine; i made his lunch and then we both went to work. It was just one of our typical mornings. We have been fine, we haven’t made wedding plans yet as we both said we’d like to get a house first and we’ve been saving so much to afford a deposit. Our families spent Xmas together and there was no indication at all of anything being wrong. I asked a mutual friend if they had heard from him and they said (on the first evening that he didn’t contact) that they’d been for a drink together and he seemed fine. So I said back oh I haven’t heard from him and now the so called mutual friend has gone radio silent too! Even when his dad died he rang to tell me, so if he does have something personal going on, I would have thought he’d have let me know. We’re still friends on social media and engaged on our relationship statuses. I don’t know whether he is waiting for me to change mine or whether he just hasn’t thought about that. I don’t know who to turn to or what to do..

are you sure he’s okay? it seems odd he’d disappear without a trace.. .i’d be concerned he was sick or in an accident, etc.

regardless, you know where he lives, right? i’d go to his house and demand answers.

Hi-Sorry,this is an awful situation. I would send him/leave him a message that says ” I am worried and confused,that I can’t get in touch/have not heard from you. If I do not hear from you in 24 hours-I am going to the police,as I will assume something has happened to you.” That should get him to answer, if he has just been avoiding you for some reason. Like the others, I wonder if you could go to his house,call his family etc?

Can’t say much what’s going on in his mind, but definitely wanna say how I am feeling you, sorry you are going thru this, and support you and hug you all the way from Finland.
I’ve heard many guys may pull back closer to an importnat life turnover such as wedding, and that the best strategy is giving him space, waiting until he go thru his emotions and comes back to you for good. But this also doesn’t feel like your situation, so yeah I would definitely keep trying finding ways to see him.
In any way, if he leaves, you will be just MUCH better without such a jerk in your life! Better now than after wedding/kids.. In a while you will be fine! It hurts like hell being betrayed this way so I wish you to sort out soon and get your answers.
Hugs lady <3

Any news yet?

I know you are hurt. But as someone else said he is already rejecting you, so actually making him face you and tell you it’s over is what you need to do. I wouldn’t for a minute let him get away with this! Make him be a man and tell you to your face it’s over. Not ignore you and go behind your back and tell everyone BUT you that it’s over! You had to know something was up if you text every day and spend most nights together. I don’t understand why you waited so long. But now is the time to get pissed off!! If he was ignoring you so he wouldn’t have to deal with your emotional reaction to him calling it off then he would get it full blast!! I would show up at his house, make him tell me it was over, I would call him every name in the book and tell him what a coward he is for handling things this way, get my stuff, get my share of the house money and keep the engagement ring!! Then I would sell the ring, and take that money and some of the house fund if I needed to go on a vacation to some tropical island with a couple of my closest girlfriends and drink tropical drinks on the beach until I couldn’t remember his name!

I am so sorry! I knew this is what he did. Men these days (well some of them). He is a COWARD like no other. You were not seeing each other for 2 months, even then it would be horrible to vanish, but you were engaged. Ghosting you this way and then telling everyone behind your back that he actually ended it… Do what kaye said. And make sure his sister knows he did NOT end it with you but simply ghosted. Send her your messages to him asking where he is. Do not allow him to look good in front of everyone else, saving his face while making you a “crazy” woman. Surely he has the right to break an engagement. But there are normal “humane” ways of doing it.

You need to do that for YOU. You will regret not doing it later. lots of hugs, you will get over it, once your initial shock is over you’d be glad this coward is not the father of your kids.

I’d be concerned about the money for the house, given how he “ended” things with you, let us know if he was at least honest and did not steal your half.

he cheated.

I know this is an old post but, Rachel my God! I hope you are handling it much better by now. And for everyone else saying to go to his house and scream at him and call him names, please don’t. Save yourself the dignity and respect that he is trying to strip you from, and move on. Pick up the pieces day by day, week by week, month by month. It may be hard to trust again, but that is why there is therapy. Consider yourself lucky to have this man out of your life. I know of women who were left AFTER marriage and kids. You are lucky that you are free from this soulless creature.

Hey,Anon-sorry that happened to you. Impressed by your attitude. You were/are smart. No time for someone who is so cowardly and of poor character to do that. I hope you have a man deserving of you now.