First date horror story

@Warasen

No, more like leaning in through the driver’s side window (it was late and dark out so it could have been a lot worse).

Danitka’s “first date horror story” sounds much more unpleasant.

I am most definitely not a troll :)
and been there for years

I just wanted to understand more what went on on that date, so I asked

as Danitka posted the story, I asked her, she answered, thats all

the worst part is that it seems the date went very well, they liked each other, then something just happened, that is what I wanted to know, what it could have been

if he is a local (is he a local?) and wanted to meet at a hotel room the next day, thats dodgy
but the date thing and paying thing could have been a genuine misunderstanding

they asked for a bill, then Danitka left for a bathroom and he left for a ciggi. Danitka got back first, there was a bill, he nowhere, she paid it and went away. Then the man got back, the waiter said she paid and left, without a word.

So yes, I had my questions

I really doubt that it was a misunderstanding. He wasn’t out for a ciggy, because I waited, looked for him and tried to contact him several times before I paid and left. He was nowhere to be found. And he didn’t have his ciggarettes as he smoked mine, lol. We were leaving anyway, so the ciggarette story was an attempt to gaslight me.

He said that he has been living in my city for two years already, he mentioned his flatmates. The hotel thing contradicts that. There are many things that don’t add up.

My theory is that his objective was to have sex, so when he realised he wasn’t getting any he left when a perfect opportunity arised. I noticed that his demeanour changed at the end of the date. From funny and entertaining to snarky. Maybe I just hurt his ego by not wanting to spend the night with him, haha. Then he tried to pin his dumb behaviour on me and to bulls** me. When that didn’t work, he changed the strategy and started sending me those “I am sorry” messages.

In my opinion the weirdest part of this story are the messages I have received from him the next day, full of heart and kissing emojis, inviting me over to this hotel, saying he liked me and it was a nice date. That is just crazy. I think that it shows that this guy is quite damaged and manipulative.

I also recall him stating that he needed investors for his startup idea and asking me, if I am interested in the textile industry. I think that all of this had the potential to be yet another “Dirty John” scenario, haha.

I mean some prank, to maybe scare the sh**t out of him somehow :)

I know it sounds childish, but even the idea gives me giggles :)

Haha, I am not even sure, if he gave me his real nam :)

I believe that karma will get him eventually. One day he will meet his equal.

First I’ll say that Tinder isn’t just for hookups anymore. I’ve met some nice, relationship minded men on Tinder. Second, I read an article yesterday about the fact that men who abduct women to sell into slavery are often educated, normal seeming, professionals. That he acted as if the date was fine and invited you to a hotel after saying he lived in your city seems beyond creepy to me…it seems downright dangerous. I would also check to see if he’s actually staying at that hotel, in case anyone in the area goes missing.

I’ll share my own first date story. I began chatting with a man on Match and then spoke to him twice on the phone. He seemed intelligent, witty and interesting. None of my highly sensitive alarm bells went off so I agreed to meet him. I asked for a coffee date but he said he was dying to try a new, local restaurant and convinced me to meet him there. We each ordered a glass of wine and then a light dinner. The conversation was going well until he told me he held an unusual belief he wanted to share.

He announced that he believed the Earth was flat and had just returned from a national Flat Earth Conference. He asked the server for a pen and proceeded to pull all of this scrap paper out of his pockets. His voice became louder and more and more excited, and he drew wild diagrams and equations to show me “proof” of a flat Earth. Other diners were beginning to stare and I just sat there, completely dumbfounded and not knowing what to do. I kept nodding and saying “mm hm”, which he apparently took as an indication of my agreement. Somehow got through the rest of dinner, he insisted on paying and he walked me to my car but before we got there, he jumped in front of me and began a jiu jitsu routine in the parking lot. After a minute or two, I asked what in the hell he was doing and he said, “proving that I am able to protect my woman.” I told him I’d had enough and bolted for my car.

Next day, he requested a second date and I politely declined. He then bombarded me with texts, berating me for letting him buy dinner and wine (I tried twice to split the bill) if I knew there wouldn’t be a second date. He accused me of being an alcoholic that needed alcohol to relate to men (I had one glass, which I didn’t finish). He said women like me deserved being taught a lesson and said he knew where I worked. Luckily, one of my clients was a police officer. He made a phone call to the psycho and that was the end of it.

I have a few horror stories but that was definitely the weirdest.

Yikes, what a nightmare, at least you’re safe.

You did nothing wrong.
First of all, I don’t understand why there’s so many women who go dutch. A man ALWAYS pays, not only for the first date, but every date. Expect nothing but the best treatment or give him the boot.

A great way to avoid guys like this is to know his full name and occupation so you can google him beforehand to make sure that he actually has a reputable job so that he can afford a woman and won’t steal your kidney or something.

I once had a first date with a surgeon. After some chit chat and getting to know each other it turns out that he had once, years prior, been MY surgeon and had in fact removed one of my ovaries! Well… we both decided it was just too weird to move forward lol!

I don’t recall any first bad or crazy dates, we either went our merry way or continued to see each other. There was one guy however that I wasn’t even on a date with but at a friends party and he apparently decided I should be “his girl” and when I rejected him he went psycho and they had to kick him out. Apparently that didn’t stop him because he then proceeds to drive to my house! I have no idea how he knew where I lived as I never met him before so yeah, it was beyond crazy. He then proceeds to confront my dad at which point he told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever went near me or him again he would make sure it was his last breathe!

Thankfully I never saw him again but it was definitely a scary learning experience as a 17 year old that made me hyper alert to whackos and possibly why I didn’t have any wild, crazy or zany dates thereafter because back in those days we didn’t have the internet or cell phones so you met in person and within a brief interaction knew immediately if they were someone you never wanted to interact with again or not.

After my 20+ marriage ended, I entered a whole knew dating world where I felt like I had dropped on another planet! Trying to navigate it is what actually brought me here because I didn’t have the personal intel I had back in the day to determine if I wanted to even go on a date with them before we ever went on a date so I needed some insight on what to look for and how to weed them out better. Online can easily be described as the “wild wild west” so it took some trial dates for me to get better at weeding profiles out to the point there was hardly anyone I wanted to meet lol. After a couple years I lost interest, got off it completely and went back to the old school method of meeting men in person before accepting a date and have had much better luck with that than I ever did online.

You do need to be careful when you’ve never met them before which is why brief quick short meetups (not formal dates) is best until you can properly suss the guy out and get a better sense of who he is before proceeding towards formal dating.