First he ghosts me, then wishes me! What to do?

It’s not unusual for people on here to get a little defensive when commenters post some harsh truths. I think everyone here has been pretty helpful. You are responding with volumes of explanations and defenses. Okay then…

You originally asked what you should do, so I will use your words from your original post — “ignore him and move on with my life”. That is what you should do. That is what is best for you (who cares about what’s good for him, he’s not the one posting for advice). I have the feeling you will do the opposite but maybe someday after this with a little bit of distance, you will come back to this post and read it with some hindsight and wisdom. I think you can learn from many of the commenters here.

I am not defensive. Trust me, I first give myself those pieces of advice. I’m way too self-critical. Even writing that I’m self-critical feels self-critical. You are right. This isn’t the first time something similar has happened to me. However, it was at this time that I started realizing that something was off with me. That is why I started reading books on psychology and attachment theory. I can’t really say if I’m anxious-attached. I don’t have all of the characteristics of that category. These people are dependent on their relationships and can’t live without one. I might get dependent even from day 1 but I can perfectly survive on my own. Perhaps I am too sensitive and I want things to work at least for once. I never really had a proper relationship and I’m almost 24. This adds to the pressure I feel. The guys I dated were either looking just for sex without wanting any other commitment, or they were projecting their insecurities so much that they scared me off (remember the guy who confessed that he is a doormat!). As a result, the moment I found someone who seemed a bit more “normal” and knew how to seduce me (I am a helpless romantic), I was head over heels. I knew and know that it isn’t healthy but I don’t know how to stop it. There was another guy who had made me believe I was his world. I was infatuated and then he started acting distant. One day, he told me he wanted to see me and guess what, he told me he was too busy to be in a relationship with me and wanted to tell me in person. I would be fine (even if I was sad)but the guy kept calling me time and again and one day he told me he was under my house the day before and that the fact that he can’t be with me doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He knew how in love I was and he manipulated me. To save my dignity I blocked him and a few months later I learned that he was in a relationship. I was mad because it was pretty unfair. Me being single, and he breadcrumbling and then happily in a relationship. After all these disappointments one would expect that I would be an avoidant, but I still believed in true love (a romantic, remember?). So I met the last guy, the med-student and I saw history repeating itself. After reading books over books I’ve tried a therapy session with a psychologist. I told her everything concerning the guy and she replied that I was a bit too invested but she was proud of me for wanting a deep relationship and not a superficial one, like the majority out there. We only had one session and that was before the wish thing. Sending that wish tomorrow won’t mean that I expect anything. Even if he reaches out it is hardly impossible that I’ll get him back after this turmoil. But not sending the birthday wish will be egotistical and mean from my behalf. And yes, it’s unavoidable not to appreciate the fact that he thought about me on Easter. It was a personal wish with my name on it. He searched my name and send me something, so even if he doesn’t care at least he respects me as a person. I want to view the whole matter from a positive perspective.I’m so in for growth so any advice -disregarding this guy- on how to be less attached will be appreciated!

I cant judge on what is acceptable from the other side. And what would that matter?
Your problem is your age. 24 is the age where most guys dont want to commit yet, at least not fully. So that means keep your expectations very low and let a guy be consistent in dating first. Thats not patriachic but an easy way for yourself to gauge interest. And keep dating different men.

What happened:
Hello girls, I hope you are all well! I’ve decided to write what happened after our last time we shared opinions. I texted the guy with a simple wish and he answered politely. I didn’t continue the convo neither did he. I didn’t feel sad or anything. Anyway, after re-reading your comments I searched for a book on anxious-attachment. Thanks to quarantine (always look on the bright side of life), I had plenty of time to read it. The book in which I refer is “Insecure in Love”. It was a very pleasant read, and I learned a lot from it. Did I identify myself? Well, yes and no. The book’s premise revolved around the idea that the needy person is afraid of rejection. However, I don’t think I am. Maybe, just a little bit but who isn’t? That made me realise, that my impulsive and -needy- behavior was triggered by my enthusiasm rather than my anxiety. I really liked the guy. Yes, after just one date! So, why did I blow everything? A book on sex-politics came to the rescue. “Why men love bitches”. This book was PHENOMENAL! I haven’t finished it yet but so far I have identified my self with the “nice girl” (or to my horror, the doormat) instead of the “bitch”. I cursed myself for not having read it earlier! It made clear sense why our story didn’t make it after one date. I had a moment of epiphany. I will try sooo hard next time I have a fling for someone to use the advice of the book! In the meantime, I hope to improve my life as much as possible and become a better version of myself. To conclude, I wouldn’t label myself as needy or insecure (not that I’m perfectly fine!), just love-illiterate.
Do I wish that guy to come back sometime? Definitely. But this time I’ll change the rules of the game. And what if he won’t? Well, I’ll find someone else (I hope)!
One thing I am most grateful for is about his message. If he hadn’t sent it, I would still be mad at him. I wouldn’t be able to identify all my misconceptions and of course I wouldn’t have met you all. Sorry, if I acted defensive. Love ya!
P.S. Don’t get me wrong, but I’m still a bit sad that we cannot express our feelings, if we have them from a very early stage.

Also: one more thing. ‘Needy’ behaviour can be triggered early on by judging the potential, not the reality. You had one date and pencilled it all in based on that. Yeah thats enthousiasm but also a losing game since you are pacing way ahead of the guy from that moment on