For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Argh Mandy reading your post further up the page “I apologized and tried to work things out.. He will not give up on his hurt and insecurities for us to be together.. ” with you ending it then apologising and him coming back to you with a big apology about being cold – well my story feels so similar except he hasn’t come back to me yet :(

I keep waiting for him to apologise for turning so cold on me.

He’s not going to.

Haven’t cried for two days now (compared to every day for three weeks previous!) so it feels like I am starting to heal a bit. Have arranged a date for Saturday night and talking to a couple of others. Keep referring back to my email I sent myself with a list of negatives about him but I am still so sad it has ended like this.

So my ex has just / finally removed all pictures of us from his Facebook – except one, don’t know if he missed it or left it on purpose. Felt like a bit of kick in the gut, but what did I expect. Opened my cards from his mum and sister last night that said “we love you and we miss you”. Gahh, looks like he’s totally moving on with her now. About to go on my date shortly, wish I wouldn’t have looked, it’s my own fault.

I’m still left pondering whether it will last with then given the history, I know I shouldn’t be but I just do wonder.

everyone.. keep trying to move forward. stop looking at fb…keep crying and get it all out. just one day at a time. Claire. …removing pics is practical….not meant to be hurtful.fb….let’s all your Friends know what is happening so it’s easier to take pics down than have folk wonder if it is on or off. And yes….it’s time to put the past behind. ..Mike and I did the same with our pics. it’s just another phase of life to accept. and in the long run… These are kicks in the ass we need to help us move on. NEVER. ..add a new partner on fb….learn from this .

Imena…cry honey until you have no more tears. We ate all in the same boat just trying to get past it and over them.

I did get over him! Amazing! I’d see him and not be tempted to even hug. We’d sleep on the same bed and not even our hands will brush. When I remember to call him, I brush d thought aside and it goes right outta my head. I still remember him a lot but not in d way it was b4. I remember him a lot because I’m amazed I could absolutely get over him. Wooooww! People fade! Nobody is indispensable. That guy felt like life itself. It’s amazing how I got over him. It was sudden and dramatic. When I struggled to get over him and used reminders, notes and rebounds, I failed. When I decided I deserved better I healed so quickly. It wasn’t because I found another man, it was because I got sincerely disgusted at getting so little whilst giving too much. In the end I have a new boyfriend now and I’m happy. I still can’t believe I absolutely got over him. After over two years.

Harley, thank you !!! I know it will get better with time. It’s just despite getting hurt from love, I feel disappointed cause I lost a friend with it as well. I hope it doesn’t take me FOREVER to forget. It’s just I hate waking up in the morning cause I have to face another day without him but yet when I my head hits the pillow at night, I’m proud of myself surviving another day without him. I just wish I knew how he feels right now, whether he is hurting,too, or feeling sorry, or what? Just wish I knew if he regretted treating me so poorly and to be honest a part of me still wants him back to be all mine, without baggage, but it’s not gonna happen. I know.

Why is it that even when your ex has been a complete asshole they still live in ur head all the time!!!

Its been 4 months now, yet he’s still there at the forefront of all my thoughts!

I wish I could erase him.

I feel happy nowadays, and life is more peaceful, not that I’m not living each day in panic and anxiety.

But internally I’m so sad, because I just cant face the idea of never seeing him again for the rest of my life. How can someone be such a big part of your life and then suddenly they’re gone. It really is the same emotions as death. Here one minute, gone the next.

My desire to contact him is yet again consuming me.

Yeah, that’s right. Maybe we can be friends, too, after a year or two like you, but yeah I agree with you. He is immature that’s why everything fell apart and that’s why he is inconsiderate. I totally agree with that.

I’m trying not to stress over it either and to be honest at least now I know , now I have an answer and I know where I am going cause I was stuck there without any direction. As much as it hurts me, it had to take a direction cause I don’t wanna be in a relationship of three. I don’t wanna be the other one. He always knew that. Maybe he wanted me to be there as one like that and talking about it and telling him he needed to make a decision caused him to think about me as negative and as I add stress in his life. Of course I did cause I couldn’t put up with that situation. How could I be positive? It makes me feel bad he had that impression of me as negative. It really hurts.

Harley, I don’t know what kinda guy he is. I feel like Ai don’t know him anymore. He is really romantic to me, to her, he says so many beautiful words, so many things, and he acts like you’re the one, yet he cheated on her and lied to me. You can never tell what’s in his head or what he feels. He makes it really easy to believe that true romance can be achieved these days.

Ha Imena…They always ate romantic and say the right things when trying to sweet talk you Into bed. Frank said ALL the right things to get me and was sooo romantic.

It doesn’t mean a thing when they don’t want to date us unfortunately.

keep hanging in there. lots if hugs to you all. We will get through this.

These are the main reasons and ways of handling No contact.
1. You know he is not the man for you and there is no way in Hell you want to see him ever again or be friends. Easy – No Contact for life!
2. You’re pretty sure he is not the one but want some time apart to make sure and to see what changes. Wait a month.
3. You still hope things will work out. Wait a month.
4. You want to keep the friendship. Pointless but wait 3 months or more.
No contact means 100% no contact unless you have children together. Then just be as polite, brief and business like as possible. Grieve, kiss the old relationship goodbye and put all mementos away. If there is a death in the family and they contact you then be kind but don’t rush into relationship mode. No stalking, no replying, work on yourself and go on casual dates. Return to who you were or an even better version. Do it for you, not him. If contact is made by the dumper after a month then behave as a single woman that needs to be won over but don’t be a bitch about it. Be happy and bright. Deep and meaningful can be sorted out later if you feel the relationship is going somewhere. Good luck :)

Fairycake, thank you!! Yea, we all are trying to be the best version of ourselves and we are doing it for us, no doubts!! And we can do it!! Thanks for your advice and information! Appreciated!

Just keep going forward Imena. I’m staying away from social media as much as I can so I don’t see him or get reminders. keep up the hobbies and activities. wear yourself out . It just takes time for it all to heal..

Hi sass.

All is going well with the new guy I think. Last week I felt like I could fall for him. This week I’m feeling more negative.
Coming up to my period though so maybe thats affecting my mood.

We seen to have barely any contact between meet ups. And this I am struggling with. I dont want to be into manic texting 24/7, but some days I hear around 11pm, and others not at all.
Today I decided to initiate with a good morning, which was reciprocated well with ‘its always good to hear from you’

Signs are good when together. He’s affectionate and loving. He took me out for a meal no my birthday and wouldn’t let me pay for anything. He remembers things I tell him (which ex never did) and he seems to be consistent. He says I’ll see you Tuesday, and he does it.

I guess its my own insecurities that prey on my mind. Lack of contact = lack of interest, in my world. But I am trying so hard not to take it personally! I’m his first woman since his marriage. Before his marriage we didn’t have mobile phones, so this mad contact frenzy he would never have been into!

It never helps though that fuk face is in my head all the time. Today my daughter found a recording of his son, and she ended up saying she wished I was still with him.

Why do I miss that asshole so damn much???