For those who need help with NC and letting go.

hahaha! I’ve never heard that before, that’s a great quote. I’m definitely feeling stronger, even after what i’ve just seen. Maybe i’m becoming a bit desensitised to it now and will eventually just stop. I was exactly the same with previous exe’s, except I always moved on first so i’ve never obsessed over an exe’s new relationship like I am before. It’ll happen time, yep. Right it’s bedtime for me! I’m meeting up with an old friend tomorrow night. He’s flying over from madrid for a visit. I haven’t seen him for about 4 yrs! Who knows, something might happen there??? hee hee! After what we’ve been through it’s time to start having some fun as a free agent and seeing single life as fun and full of options! He’s jumped from our relationship straight into another, which will likely be full of stress and rows over the coming months… whereas I am a single lady doing as I please!!! Yayyyyy for us!!! Girl Power!!! :)

Thank you for putting up this blog..well my situation is kinda pointless i guess..i was in a LDR w/ this guy for almost a yr and we haven’t even met in person cause he’s stationed outside US..but we talked everyday since we started talking we skype once in awhile because his job is too busy..anyway..this is our second time that we broken up first was when he was depressed and stressed out cause he wanted to come home but he got extended and he needed space..he said he doesn’t need any added stress from me that’s why he wanted to take the gf bf title off..then after a week he contacted me and said he really didn’t want to break up and told me i’m the one who left him hanging when all he needed was my support..but what am i supposed to do when he told me that he wanted space that’s when i gave it to him i was really hurting then when i thought that we’re really over..and after a month he broke up w/ me again and this time i really feel that he wanted to break up for sure..he said our relationship was just pointless cause we never even met in person yet but we argue like we’re a married couple and he said he’s not happy anymore and told me that we never really had a real relationship cause we never met in person yet..and that was 4days ago..i send him a long email saying that i understand his decision and i already accepted the fact that we are not meant to be and told him that eventhough he said that it wasn’t a real relationship to me it was all real i gave him my all i was dedicated to him and i’m loyal all through those times..he did reply right away and he said he’s gonna write me in detail about what i said on my email..but i replied back and told him that it’s ok that he doesn’t need too cause he already told me everything what he needed to say that night..then after that he never replied back anymore..i’m so hurt until now i can still feel the pain because i love him too much..i don’t know what to do..he broke up w/ me on the week of my bday and tomorrow is my bday :( i wanna fight my love for him..but i don’t know what to do i’m so confused my heart says fight for him but my mind says it’s not worth it..and to think we didn’t got into a big fight he just wanted to be over but last week he told me he didn’t want to break up w/ cause he said he really cares about me a lot..please help me i really don’t know what to do :(

God, I’m so tempted to text him today and say everything I have inside. It hurts so bad..i still cannot believe how you can still love someone who broke your heart. I still can’t believe I miss that fool so much.

Hi Tasha,

I hope you’re happy and that things are heading in the right direction! Yes it’s amazing what things can make us realise. Very sad about his friend, I hope you’re both doing ok. Yes, keep your own life and work together. Hopefully this time you will be stronger than before.

Imena – DO NOT TEXT HIM. Remember everything you were saying to me yesterday. He is with someone else now so why give him the satisfaction, he’ll just see that you are still there a fallback girl! Don’t do it, take yourself out shopping, do whatever it takes. Buy yourself a new outfit so you feel fabulous and go out with your friends tonight and flirt to your hearts content with any man you like. You are single, free and beautiful.

Lots of love xx

Someday’s those urges to make contact are so over powering aren’t they!

I’ve been like that today! I’ve been busy all morning, painting scenery for a local show, and all the time I’ve been in my head deciding whether to make contact today. I had decided I would.

But now coming on here and reading the most recent posts I’ve decided against it. Thank goodness.

What will I gain from it? Nothing! A couple of responses and then weeks of nothing again.

I think its because, when we spoke 2 weeks ago, and he told me he wanted me back, and we decided to meet, to talk. As soon as I agreed to this, he has been silent since.

Making me believe I truely am his second choice and fallback girl.

But, our talking was good and he sounded sincere. (dont they always). He may well have met me but he, during our talks was very certain of how my family and friends would react to me even talking to him. And then last week one of my other ex’s saw him. (the father of my two older children. They had met a few times). Anyway, it was a bit of a road rage incident, and ex (fuk face) jumped out of his lorry to kick of at other ex(father). When he saw who it was he jumped back in his lorry, but ex (father) shouted something at him about all the shit he has created. F.f never said a word in the end. Just jumped in his lorry and drove off. All mouth no action he is!

I think he realised getting back with me would cause to much shit for him, and thats why he’s now silent.

I dont know. The urge to talk to him never fades though.

•recovering the healthy way, not receiving

I dont think about her anymore. I know he’s not happy with her. I know he doesnt trust her and is doubtful of her motives.

I’ve had this confirmed by his friend, his brother, and him.

He thinks she lies to him. She makes him feel like he’s pestering her for contact all the time. She blows him off with words like busy and tired. Oh, karma is a bitch alright! Thats exactly how he was with me! I told him it sounds like he’s met his perfect match!

Claire, I’m already doing what you suggest. As in, waiting. If I have an urge to contact I leave it and the urge does fade.

As far as I know his new woman is back living in her own country again, and every time he tries to get a date from her about her return she has another reason for not coming back yet.

Unless things have changed since I last spoke to him!

I know for a fact he hates being alone at xmas. I’m going to fight my urges with all my strength, to not contact him over this period. Let him be alone. If the urge is still strong I may contact in the new year. Hopefully my urge will have gone completely though.

I’m still enjoying my new man and that is keeping me focused on a new start. He told me yesterday he thinks I’m ace! I wish I had time to see him more. These twice a week relationships are hard!

BC glad you’re waiting it out and staying detracted with the new man. Great news that he thinks you’re ace!!! :) Yes, it doesn’t sound good with the trust issues, it’s hardly a relationship built on a solid foundation is it. However that isn’t your concern, he’s gone and got himself into hot water so leave him to stew. I’m pretty sure my guy will be having trust issues too. I know how insecure he can be and she already broke of their engagement…several times! In the past. No wonder the family are reluctant to let her back in. I know his mum is trying for his sake but I know what they think. The last conversation I had with his mum about her she told me that she couldn’t trust her as far as she could throw here, and they obviously know her as he was with her for 3 years.

Silly, silly men.

And he didn’t even said ‘Goodbye” when I said so.

Well……..we can all cry in our beers/wines. I think I shall spend Xmas day WELL drunk. I had a great sober Xmas party. No fanciable guys but good fun. Got home about 3am. Miss shithead German too…….so we must all be having a bad day of it. I keep dreaming of him.you !

i LOOONG for the day I wake up and stop thinking of him.

Anyway.. everyone stay strong. stop the facebook stalking… it’s only heartache. NO contacting them allowed.. it will do us no good.

lots more shithead online guys messaging me………… no possible fanciable ones.

Imena: Thank you for your reply..Today is my bday he did email me to greet me halpy bday..and the sad part is i was trying to talk to him on the phone cause i feel like i needed it for my closure i want him to tell me it’s over for good when we’re both calm on the phone not me being all hysterical and crying while him was all mad and pissed off..i told him that i’m still holding on to him and my heart still wanted to fight for him..and i said i just needed him to make me understand that it’s over so i can moved on w/ my life cause i know somewhere out there deserves me and my love and deserves someones else..and him too..but he didn’t reply back after that..i told him to not be afraid to hurt me cause i’m already hurting in the first place i just want him to be upfront and tell me..did i really made that mistake of asking him that favor?? I think that was a stupid move but i just want it to get this over with..please make me understand..

hi gals, this topic really got a lot of juicy stuff and supports i need at this part of time.
my story is i have had a relationship w my ex and year and a half. everything was good but we broke up 1.5months ago. the reason for start was we suppose to meet a night. but he left me waiting at home and didnt tell me he didn’t want to go out. i told him i dun mind but i felt unrespectful. i felt i m tired to complain abt his behavior. he apologised. next day i called to talk and he told me is better we stay as friends. he told me alot of hurtful words and i told him mayb is better we cool down abit. after i started nc for 2 weeks. on the second week he msg me say if i have made a decision i should at least let him know. but wht the hell he could say that to me. he was the one said wanted to break up. wht else could i say. i told him in 2weeks nc i accepted his decision then he msg me bavk said he never made any decision which really makes me miserable. so we met and talked. he asked y i disappeared for 2 weeks and i told him i was hurt but i resoect his words. even tho i never wanted we end it like this. but we officially broke up on that night. then i back to nc. during the first 2 weeks he still calls pet name and check how m i. i just ppolitely tell him i m busy as i was on nc. after fully 30days. i started reply his txt and he asked to return my stuff. so last week i called him to confirm the date. and guess wht happened. he did the same thing again. the whole day he didnt tell me wht time so at last i txt him. he didnt answer until 10pm saying his phone die. wht kinda attitude was that. i was so disappointed and i didnt reply him ever since. i no the nc is for myself, not hoping he is regretted for himself to stay with me. but i m very miserable of this situation. and i m just imagining he is now back to sleep with all the gals around. (he never had a serious relationship for 5years.) i m feeling very hurt and i wanna slap myself y i still spend my time on someone doesnt see me as a preious one.

Felicia, TRUST ME when I say I DO understand you. I was trapped in the same situation as well. I have been in a LDR as I sad and I know how easy it is to get trapped in a world full of fantasies. It is sooo easy. It hurts cause it feels so REAL to you, so real. You live in that world as it was your own but ….here we go , we have to open our eyes and SEE… SEE the reality. Sometimes we need a slap in our face to wake up and I got it. I think you got it to, now open your eyes and DO NOT CHASE HIM. please! You already said to him what you need and had to, now he can do WHATEVER he pleases. No regrets, no more tears. I know what you are going through. Trust me. It’s so hard. This is killing me to but HEY… WE HAVE TO LOVE OURSELVES!!! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE OUT.