For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Thanks yoyo….

Well it makes it hard to ignore him completely when he is still liking stuff I post on FB also… I don’t want to unfriend him because it doesn’t look good… I don’t want him to know he effects me… also I really hope we can be friends after the right amount of time has passed..

I know better not to do it… but it’s a habit and it’s hard… the crazy thing is I use to hardly ever get on FB.. I got in the habit of getting on there when I was with him, because it’s how we communicated when he was at home because he didn’t get cell phone service at his house..

Now it seems the habit is still there…

I’m going to try really hard to go back to barely using it.. like I use to before I met him..

Aww…hugs Mandy. yep. ..you don’t need to torture yourself…I really have come off Fb a lot. ..I don’t need to know. I try now not to think ANY THING about posts…because bottom line is….they are lazy.if a guy can’t man up a d phone and communicate a d sort things out ..then it does not bode well for surviving future hurdles together. even a text that communicates is better than a silly post. so. …keep trying to ignore. likewise refuse to unfriend. ..why should I….shows him I care…and all our mutual mates will know something is wrong. ..so No…We shall keep our dignity. …let them unfriend us..Chin up girl. keep struggling.

same for the rest of you girls. I had a crap emotional weekend too but already today us positive so that is GOOD.

No reaching out and contacting them .

Harley I’m glad your day is looking positive..

Mine is going to look rough..

Your exactly right… all I did was torture myself.. Now I can’t sleep.. my mind is racing with anxiety.. I just drugged myself with some Nyquil (I do have a cold) to knock me out so I can get a few hours of sleep before work.. And I took my FB app off my phone so it isn’t so tempting to log on.. I am also cramping so I’m afraid my pms (period) is on it’s way… great..

I really can’t understand why I’m taking this so hard.. After all I am the one who did the breaking up.. I even thought it was a good idea at the time… I usually bounce back so quickly after dumping someone.. And I usually don’t second guess myself..

I haven’t felt like this after a break up going on 3 years now… don’t know what is wrong with me…

Ha ha Mandy….Welcome to the club. Imena and I have been wondering the same. The only conclusion I have.. . is that we all fell REALLY hard for them. ….It snuck up and surprised us .It was all sooo good we can’t understand nor accept they do not want us. but….fact is. …they didn’t. For whatever reasons. ..no point in over thinking it.

All I DO know. ..no consolation….is….they are idiots. Imena, s guy is cheating….so he’s not happy with the current love. . Frank is sleeping with everyone but not committing, can’t fully break with the wife, yet WANT a relationship. …soo he’s not happy, your guy is obviously not happy…. Claire is in the same boat. ..sooo it’s all fucked up. They missed the best thing going g with us. I think they will all be back for you. not sure about Frank with me…as he’s very self Controlled. but….time will tell.

We all need strategies for going forward for if/when they contact. I’m hoping to lay it on the line and tell him I won’t settle for less than a relationship.

imena. yes! y we give the power on somebody else to control us. we should b the one who r in control. now we all should take the power back from them. once we r in control by ourseleves. others means nth really. recently i m reading a book, called the power of now. very good book. if u gals have time, would b nice to understand more abt it.
sometimes when i m in the positive side, i would think the reason my relationship didnt work in our way has to b have a reason. wht happened is already happened. there is no turning back, we just have to accept it the way and deal with it. yes. we are all get emotions but lets say he left us for whtever reason. that is not us. we are still ourselves. and even it failed this time. but we will all learn by mistakes and we grow up by time. my mood is not very good today. but i m sure we will all b fine one day. we support each others, never afraid of anything!

Imena…hang in there. we will have good and bad days. today is better for me thank god.

I feel MUCH better!

Blocking him on the various social media channels was a turning point. I now don’t see his name every time I pick up my phone and that has helped me immensely in putting him in a box and closing the lid. Also with blocking him I can’t reinstate him – I would have to make new requests to be friends which obviously I am not going to do. It’s been liberating!

I highly recommend this strategy. When you are sure you have made it clear how you feel, so there is no miscommunication, and he has made it clear back that it’s definitely over, then take him at his word and delete, block, forget and move on.

Done!

Good for you Sass. I’m happy you feel relieved! I hope I get there someday. It’s only been a week and I’m still in my mourning days if we can say so but it’s gone be okay as the time passes by.

Shanice, I am really sorry! I know it is soooo painful, but I think you are doing pretty good. You are dealing with it as a strong confident woman who believes in herself and who surely deserves better.

Yea, we all should see things from a different prospective, putting ourselves first and evaluating whether it was worth it and considering how poorly we were treated, not being respected and loved enough. Why would we need a guy like that?!

sassy. yr msg made me smile a little. u said puy the bf in a box and close the lid. haha!

anyway, tonight i m very happy. i went out do Pilates and after i went dinner w some old colleagues. chichat and gossiping alot. one of my colleague asked did i break up w my ex finally.(i met my colleague a month ago) i said yes. i asked y he knew, m i that obvious sad kn my face so he could tell. he said no. but he Rememebr i was very miserable when last time i met him. he asked me y. i told my colleague whatever reason is not important anymore. the only that was he decided to walk away. thats it. and i m moving on. my colleague said to me i have changed alot. to becoming a better person. smile alot. chill. not like the me abt half year ago. he said i m very good. dun get upset becoz of this. and suddenly i m very happy. because i m actually becoming a better person, even tho shit happened but i m still look up and be brave. to find my own happiness. the reason y we r in pain is because we chose to, imagine this moment. u r at home, in your warm bed. right now, u r fine. you r all good. when we become sad, emotional, is because we think of the past. things we wish we could have done or said. or even to worry abt the future, oh, no bf this Christmas, so lonely, blah blah blah. we are making up a silly story in our head. this is silly!

shaniece, u rock! now u dun need to worry wht he thinks if he found out u deleted him in the social network, u r doing the things to make yrself better. u dun wanna get affective by things u dun wanna see or hear. this is enough. i have also deleted my ex in my phone. i dun care wht he thinks. i just trying to heal my wound. stay calm and not interested to his feelings, y we should? the day they decided to walk away, meaning we have decided to give up, walk the separated ways. gals, we will be better and better!

Harley, you are right. They taught us a lot. I am not really that nostalgic about my first love though but I think I will be a lot about this one. I have never felt the same with guys I have been with, even with my longest- term relationship. I don’t know it’s weird. It just clicked with him and it was like a dream. Yea, of course we heal enough to move on with our lives and yea I am better today which is good and I am happy for that.

Yoyo, I love your post, your optimism and positivity and there is so much truth in everything you sad. Thank you!

I’m sorry sweetheart! So, he is using fake pictures huh?! Hmmm…that’s not good, plus texting like crazy… You’re right, a huge turn off. A guy has done the same thing with me lately, but I told him I am not interested.