For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Well. …I feel like crap too..but we just gotta keep going. it’s a big step to take…blocking him…but it had to be done. We have to move on. Just think….you dodged a bullet….he’ll be having affairs on her before you can blink !

Oh okay, finally. Well I was saying that call me whatever but I really wish he could fall and have his heart broken in pieces so he can have a taste of how it feels like. I am nit going to tale revenge but I really hope life gives him a lesson. I really want him to fall so he can understand what he did to other people.

of course we have to move on and I AM moving on. A guy, a friend of mine will drive me to capital on Wednesday and we gonna celebrate Christmas with a bunch of friends. Don’t need that fool.

Yep BC, I guess so.I corrected it afterwards. Thanks! :)

By the way, I am sorry you are having these issues with this woman. It’s weird how life is sometimes. She broke up, didn’t want him anymore, and now after three years (is that right?) she says she is struggling because he is moving on. It doesn’t make sense! But it’s a good thing she apologized though.

Ha ha ha ha YoYo, you’re so cool!!! Thank you!
Thanks for re-writing the post cause it is an awesome post and we all should read it. It is encouraging.

I am feeling better, too. I really feel like I am moving on and that he REALLY belongs to the past. I KNOW he didn’t hurt me intentionally but still didn’t mind hurting me since he NEVER apologized about that. NEVER. But, today that I blocked him on Facebook and you know I deleted his number as well two days ago, I really feel relieved and ready to really move on with no regrets and my head up high. I did everything I could. I do not ask myself “what if..” cause I did everything possible. If it didn’t work out then his loss. As you say, it is the past and we do have so much to enjoy in the present and the future ahead. It’s a good thing here though…. It is the end of 2014 and this year has been quite tough for me and the way I see it is that since it is the end of the year and the beginning of a new year, I see it as the end of all my struggles and pain of 2014 and the beginning of a new era for me. Everything is over and done and now it is time to start all over again looking for new possibilities and chances…It’s the exact timing, the break ups and all the struggles I have been going through all ended now at the end of the year in order to start new. I am excited from this point of view. I can feel it, it’s gonna be awesome, so many blessings to count and looking forward to.

Hello, i am very nervous as it is the first time I write on a forum ,( and even more nervous to open my self up about my love life)
So here is my story, if anyone could please give me a tiny bit of advice..
I left my own country 9 years ago, I am married and I have two kids, ( I am thirty by the way) , an year ago I divorced from my husband , it was horrible for him ,and for me , but I was not happy , I haven’t been happy for years, I spent years distant from him , with the kids to look after in a different country, without my family support, and married to a man, who for work circumstances ( a sailor man) was always always away, apart from a couple of weeks / a month per year.
I decided to go back to university, and do something for my self, I work and study and look after my children , sharing custody with my ex, ( who has not been easy on me at all).
This summer time I got back in touch with an old friend from my own country, we wrote to each other every day , for months,(bare in mind he had a crush on me in the past but nothing happened,as not too long after I left and went abroad.)we talked about him visiting me, but there was not time, neither for him or me,and then one day I got the tickets to go and see my family as it was almost two years since the last time I saw them.
The texts between me and him were always nice and with kisses, and created some expectation( and I mean we knew we wanted to see each other’s)
So I am back there,for more than a week, we saw each other everyday.He was pretty affectionate and physical which at first scarred me a bit,I was feeling guilty most of all for my ex being angry at me and telling me he would never stop being angry and depressed unless I come back, he is very controlling as well!
Anyway I let my self go with this guy , he was very romantic before , after, always holding my hand, full of attentions in public or private,I met his friends as well,to cut it short we had a great 10 days, then two days before I left , we started a conversation where he told me there were things we needed to think about, (everything he said was confusing as he was always romantic , especially that evening, kissing my head , and never letting my hand go,we left the conversation there until the day after, where he said, he couldn’t do a distant relationship, he already had two and went very bad, I am a beautiful person, he doesn’t want to hurt me, I grew up a lot, and have lots of experience…when I answered to him ” just say you are not that into me,” he said ” no, everything we had was true,I just need the person , you , physically here, and then he went on about him hurting already his last long distant ex and him not wanting to do the same with me..
I left the day after in tears, I know it is silly, but I truly believed he was a lovely guy, and strong enough to wait for me, after I left he texted me , blowed me kisses, asking me how I was, I texted him after two days, he was really tired for work, I left the conversation , now I want to stop texting him, I don’t deserve it,he was dishonest, he confused me and disappointed me, i deactivated my facebook account, I am in pain, maybe I am exaggerating , buy I really liked him, and now I feel like he has used me and moved on.. I should do the same, and I am finding it really hard, really hard.
Sorry for the length of my text , any comment would be very appreciated,

Hi ladies,

hope you’re all hanging in there. Trying to stay as positive as possible here. House hunting at the moment so that’s a great distraction. Can’t believe i’m still processing all this after 6 months. I think it’s going to be a year before it’s 100% out of my system. I’m still having moments of disbelief about him actually leaving me. Still doesn’t really make sense. I’m also honestly not convinced it’s going to last with him and her, but anyway, it’s not my problem and I’m certainly not waiting for him back. I’m just waiting and working on trying to really shake it all off. I’m doing well overall but still have occasional moment. Mainly when i’m alone. When i’m out with friends and family I just feel like myself and don’t really think of him at all. i guess it’s missing having someone, not particularly him, but i’m sure i’ll meet someone in time. I still don’t feel ready yet.

Off to finish off my christmas shopping today. I hope you’re all well. Those who are fretting about christmas, don’t forget it’s just a day and all the hip will be over in a week or so. If you can i’d try and enjoy the time spent with family and friends and view it as a positive thing, that’s what i’m doing. It’s hardly like their going to turn up like a knight in shining armour over the festive period is it, so it really isn’t worth stressing about. I think if my ex ever reaches out again it will be well into next year and if/ when things start going tits up with her. It’s obviously all still new and exciting now, and it’s party season too – hardly the time when couples fall out.

Anyway, hope you’re all doing well and i will speak soon.

Claire xxx

Thanks Imena. I’m sure we will find better guys and be glad to be rid of them in time. Gah doing my Christmas shopping is really upsetting me. I think it’s why I’ve left it to the last minute. Everyone’s running round with families and I’m just on my own. I’m having lots of negative thoughts today for some reason. i was dumped in my last few relationships and I keep wondering what if I’m just unlovable. I’m really afraid to love again or even try. I really don’t want to go through this another time.

Thanks Imena, I needed to hear that. You’re totally right. I just think doing christmas shopping today has sent me into a spin as it has forced me to think about. I think i’d been avoiding it more than I realised. I was wondering why the hell this is still so confusing and raw for me after 6 months, but we did have contact at the beginning of November which I guess isn’t so long ago. I just can’t believe what he said to me and then two – three weeks later was in committed relationship with her. Surely on some level he must feel bad about what has gone on. You don;t dump your girlfriend before you’re set to move in together, shack up with your ex fiancé, knowing your recent ex know about it and think everything is ok. He is fully aware of how much the family love me too.

I’m still stumbling over that burning question of whether he left me for her, or has she just been there? I just can’t seem to shake that question, it’s bugged me since the day we broke up. I hope I can let it go properly soon. I had a really good week and now I seem to be relapsing.

I’ve never been left so confused after a breakup before.

claire, i know wht u mean, have a lot questions still abt why he left. whos problem or wht was the problem. u will never know, becoz is already the end. make it simple. it didnt work out so this is it. actually sometimes i would also wonder or struggle y he left me. but i will always pull myself back as no matter i hit my head to the wall. i will not know. i can guess but whts the point? he left. thats it.
i m sure everyone of us must had other relationship before our previous ex. to b honest. i seldom think of them. the moment we wondering y our ex could left us and seemed changed to someone else. behave like a stranger or we wonder how could they move on so quick, but i dun think abt my exs anymore when i had other things going on in my life. so i will not blame to my ex why he seems like another person to me. is his choice to walk away. we will all b fine. thinking back, i felt each relationship i had, after one and one. each one has been getting better and better. so i m pretty looking forward to the next person coming to visit my world.
i went xmas shopping tonight. i bought some cards and candy for my colleagues. when i was preparing them. i feel joy and i wanna get ppl joy and warm feelings. this is a kind of love too. spending time w friends and family. this would be so lovely too.
tomolo i m flying back to meet them. cant wait.
imena i couldnt find u in fb. i search imena imena. no match…

Yoyo, try it again. Or at least try it Imena and see the options. I have raven hair and I’m smiling :) That’s my background. I’ll love to have you on my friends list.

Jennifer, STOP IT!!! He spokes pot!!! WHY in the world would you need someone like that?! WHY?! Give me a reason!

Imena,
Because other than that he was everything I’ve been looking for in a man. He courted me, romanced me, gave me emotional stability throughout, he was always sure to give me security in the relationship by making near future plans for us to be together. He’s kind hearted and compassionate. I’m 33 and have never come across a man so perfectly rounded as him.

Jenifer, it’s great he has all those but I still think you deserve better than someone who smokes pot. That’s my opinion! But the decision is yours to make.

imena. i saw a imena imena but is a snow background. is that u??