For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Hey ladies… I feel stupid!! I can’t believe i was hoping for him to wish me a happy new year!! I’m really stupid!! Just because he wished me a Merry Christmas I thought he would wish me a Happy New Year !! I’m definitely stupid in capital letters!

I don’t snoop his Facebook. That’s what I was saying. I haven’t for nearly three months now.

My ex isn’t long distance either. Only lives 25 minutes from me. He just lives in a town I don’t visit often.

So much reminds us though. I haven’t yet been able to eat food that we enjoyed eating together. Silly isn’t it!

Glad you had fun……I bet you laughed at yourself when you were turning the wrong direction. Laughter is what we need, tons of it. So happy for you.

Ha ha..I’m like an octopus…arms legs and hair everywhere. I wanted to be a ballerina. ..before I realised I had NO coordination and my breaststroke go too big ! my dad wouldn’t pay for the college anyway. looking back…I have no regrets. I just dance around inside guys heads these days ! my fwb texted for NYE as well as Xmas so he is obviously homesick and I’m on his mind. ….always the ones you don’t want !

I dance like an epileptic chicken! I’d love to see you and me on the dance floor together Harley! Ha ha

Yep. ..We all get silly expectations. but I really do think we have to forget them..We are torturing ourselves.

yep BC…We gotta meet up and shake my flab on the dance floor ! is London the best neutral spot for all of us to travel ???? Gibson may come along if we say it to her. And Imena if you can fly ????

Fake it till you make it Suave. it’s what we’re all doing. We still think of them all the time…We still want them…BUT….We now see how their behaviour is not good enough. In time…We shall realise they were never right for us at all.

I’ve been in a complicated situation recently. I never thought I would fall into that kind of things, but well, life will always surprise us i guess. I’ve been with my current man for like 5 years. We live together, very committed relationship. But things happened and he withdrew and he neglected me. I was sad and lonely but couldn’t even clearly understand my feelings, too many complicated things were happening at the same time (like health issues on my part ). Then during a trip I took alone I met that guy. Boom. Instant chemistry. Incredible moments together. We always said we were just friends. He has a gf too, LD tho. We spent a few weeks together during this trip (nothing physical ever happened tho) and then after we both got home we’ve been texting every single day for 6 months. I didn’t even notice I was falling in love at first. It was just too perfect and too amazing and he was so loving and so protective… I was completely blinded by the fact that we re both in committed relationships and always saying we’re just friends (everyone around us kept mistaking us for a couple). I thought I was emotionally safe and he was so amazing with me, i just went with the flow. I clearly shouldn’t have..
I’ve noticed how attracted and attached I became to him only when he started pulling away. Idk if it’s because he’s withdrawing tho, the intense texting thing we had at the beginning was just impossible to maintain long term. Anyway, it suddenly hit me like a block on the head :I’m in love with that guy. Oops. I think of him constantly. I miss him madly. It hit me that my feelings for my current bf have become way too weak.
Its not something like ‘the attraction of a new love compared to an old one’ only, even if of course I think that can play a role. Idk really I’m lost in my feelings, I never wanted to get there, never wanted to ’emotionally cheat’ on my man. It just happened.
I thought about it seriously. I just know that if we had met while both single (or at least one of us) , we would have had a very passionate relationship. Passionate, but short too. There are just too many things that could have never never ever allowed this to work out long term. We’re not right for each other, or else I could have left my man for him if he asked me to. Realizing that suddenly made me feel like a monster btw. I never thought I would end up in a messy situation like that.
Too long to explain, but today we’re in a situation when we both love each other ‘as friends’ + are madly attracted to each other (this is not my analysis, it has been said straight by him..) we just know we’re not right for each other, so we’re making it up with keeping a friendship only (very warm intense protective lovey jealous friendship….) and we both hope that we can still work it out in our respective couples.
I miss him all the time.. Think of him ALL the time.. I don’t even wana explain what I’m going through since you girls know it well.. And he’s still contacting me every single day… I tried to erase his number, I tried to cool it down with him.. I tried many things to calm my heart and my mind that are full of him, but a single “good morning sweety” text from him just melts my heart completely in a second and I’m back to square love again.
This just can’t go on, right? Writing from a phone so I’ll stop this post for now. I’ll just say that today is the first day I haven’t replied to a text from him since the beginning. Soon it will be 12 hours. He is clearly stringing me along and manipulating my feelings when he has no intention of doing anything serious. And it would never work anyway…. So before I get even more and more attached… I should go NC right? And work on my own relationship and see if it can be saved or not, regardless of my guy friend or any other man….
I just don’t know how to go NC without it being so so rude… Makes me feel like an an emotional monster for putting the vanish act on him now. I don’t know what to do.. Any advice or insight is very welcome…. Good luck everyone.

I don’t know what the problem is Nath?.. I know it’s not easy. You have been emotionally attached to this guy for 5 years, but you said he has become distant and cold. I know better ….when my boyfriend started to behave like that I knew there was another woman…….and you know what? I was right. So leave this guy……and be alone for a while. Stay in contact with this other guy you met on your trip and build a relationship built on love and trust. If he really cares he will leave his girl as well…unless he doesn’t leave her…than that’s is a problem…..what do you think? I would not stay with your live in boyfriend unless he changes…..but it sounds to me like he has become really detached. Think about it….

Since my boyfriend of three years dumped me one day before Xmas eve, been miserable. It’s weird cuz he did this when he knew it was going to hurt so much vs. breaking up with me in the summer……but I guess it dont matter. One of my very good friends who is a guy has had his share of bad breakups so he lent me a book that helped him. “How to fall out of Love” I started reading it last night. It’s a good book…..you may find it in amazon.com. I am reading about THOUGHT STOPPING……how to stop thinking about someone. I will communicate effective methods to you guys….after all we are all in this together. But I’m excited about this book…..and I think with this book I will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes please share. I’d be interested in THOUGHT STOPPING too.

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