For those who need help with NC and letting go.


Home Forums Break Up Advice For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Viewing 25 posts - 901 through 925 (of 1,027 total)
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  • #389125
    Jasmine

    Everyone of these posts have the same thing in common. It takes time! Keep reminding yourself that you are worth more! You didn’t fall in love with him overnight, you won’t get over him overnight! It’s hard to go through the day without having those reminders and memories but eventually they will fade and be replaced with better times. I’m trying to stay positive and making short/long term goals to better improve myself and it’s actually helping me forget about him. I’m so grateful to have found this forum and able to have some support from all you women! Thank you it truly helps! I’m on day 4 of no contact and hope to keep it going.. I’ve started to accept it and move on :)

    #389166
    Suave

    Good job Jasmine……I’m on day 14. So far so good! I actually haven’t cried for a few days now….I have no tears left. Lol….. If he ever contacts me…..which I know he will….his new woman he went with…..that won’t last. But there is no way on earth I ever want to talk to him again!

    #389181
    dark

    I am currently going through this phase. Its not easy i must admit.
    Broke up with him , i have gone NC for week until he called and i picked.He said he was just checking up on me, we haven’t seen in two weeks but i cant get him off my head. I am determined too because i have analyzed this would only cause me more harm if i choose to let go off the warning signs already.
    i need to stay close to this thread.
    Reading all the words from Harley and others encourages me.
    Thank you for starting this thread on this topic.
    I know This Too Shall Pass
    And i hope to come off stronger.

    #389246
    yoyo

    i broke up w him 2.5month. not seen him 2 months. absolutely nc for 2 weeks. last time my ex was telling me he is going back home for xmas and hope i will have a great holiday w family. i reply him couple days later saying hope he arrived home safe and stuff. during xmas he did whts app me happy xmas but i didnt feel the need to reply anymore. after a few days he did hi me couple times but i also didn’t feel wanna talk to him. now cold Turkey for 2 weeks or more already. time passes so quick. and i feel i m doing better and better. not keep in touch with him makes me feel better really. my vocation is going to finish this week and i will b going back to work again.
    ladies, i know is difficult to get over this but this is just life, ppl break up, get better, find other things to do. do sth for ourselves, love ourselves. live our family, friends. they r always there to support us.

    #389273
    Kayla

    But when you love so much and the memories are constantly bringing you back ., it still hurts so bad your willing to do anything just to get what you had back knowing it’s not going to happen ., how do u stop the memories ?? How do you stop hurting ,??

    #389330
    Jasmine

    Kayla I know how your feeling but honestly you need to think about you first. Thinking of being without him is probably the furthest thing from possible now in your head but you will live and love again. Try to keep busy be active, hang out with friends, rearrange your room/house.
    I packed all of my exs things and put them in the storage room. It felt so empowering! You can do this! Out of sight out of mind. I literally give myself a pep talk in my head and then think about what a loser he was lol. It’s helps.

    #389453
    Suave

    Congrats! All you guys……we should all be proud of our accomplishments……We Will Beat This!,,,,

    #389472
    Raven

    He was far from and asshole. I felt beautiful, delicate, admired, attractive, desired, loved, calm, peaceful in his presence. But he’s commitment phobic and I want commitment. So I said goodbye that I wouldn’t be his friend and I meant it. It hurts like hell not hearing him laugh, or laughing with him. I miss his voice and talking with him and reading poetry with him. But I refuse to be just his friend.

    #390760
    Suave

    Yes, it is certainly feeling better after no contact for three weeks. And…..guess what….my friend introduced me to one of her friends who has been interested in meeting me for quite sometime…..we met I really dig him and he wants to see me again…….everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why we are broken up. It’s hard I know…but very doable. I am at peace, now.

    #390802
    Suave

    Rave n……so proud of you……he didn’t want commitment, they never do. He is an asshole for not wanting a commitment with you. That’s what they do, they string you along but they never want to commit…they waste your time. I realize now…I should of dumped my ex a long time ago…you on the other hand did it, you dumped him and you saved yourself lots of heartache. I know you are hurting now…but kudos to you.

    #390809
    Krystal

    Hi all.. It’s been a week of NC since the marine broke it off. (Previous posts & recap we were together exclusive for 3 months, a weeks ago he told me he loved me, however our schedules were horrible, we saw each other one-two times a week for a few hours).. we didn’t have time to go on dates.. but the trust, respect, communication, integrity was all there). This has hit me extremely hard because I feel deep down its still a mistake, my intuition tells me.. If he wants this back he has to realize on his own terms and what I need to feel more comfortable in the relationship. I can’t seem to let go… and envisioned so much great potential of our relationship- I need to focus what it is right now.. we broke up… NC first time ever me doing this and holding strong to my values.

    #390819
    dd

    Hi everyone.

    I read this post a lot and it helped me when I was going through a similar situation.

    I couldn’t take it anymore and called my mom up crying one day and she definitely gave me a kick in the ass. you know what they say, moms know best!

    “he doesn’t want you. so why are you still wanting him???? why would you ever want to be with someone that doesn’t value you???? DO you ever think it would work out?!?”

    at first i didn’t understand why she was being so harsh to me…. but then it started to make more sense. why did i want to be back with him??? HE DOESN’T WANT ME ANYMORE. think about when you don’t want/like something anymore… you just don’t want it. why would you ever think positively of this person? get over it, and move on. easier said than done, but YOU HAVE TO. there are sooooooooo many men out there that you can be thinking about.

    you ex’s WERE NOT perfect. so stop thinking they were!!! stop thinking of all the positive things and start thinking about THEM NOT WANTING YOU.

    i hated the thought of not being ‘good enough’ for someone and it definitely was a wake up call. i started to hate him and hate how he hurt me. that hate helped me move on!

    i’m not saying to hate your ex’s, what i’m saying is stop thinking so ‘highly’ of them. they DON’T DESERVE YOU AND THEY DON’T DESERVE ALL OF YOUR ENERGY!!!

    It takes time, i know. but you have to be in the right mindset and really want to move on.

    #390931
    yoyo

    dd, everytime when i broke up w someone. i always ask advice from my mom. she is older, wiser. my mom also would said sth harsh but true to me. i listen everytime. when we fall, family is just there to help us up. i know they worry abt us. but they know they should let us try everything even if they knew its not going to work out or they knew we will fall sometimes, but they still trust us to do whatever and support us when we need them. u know a couple years ago i have decided to work in another country. i went here alone, but i was always very happy. then i found my ex. we fall in love. but after 1.5 year. he said he doesnt want me anymore. now i m alone again. this xmas i went back home and before i come back. i was wondering y i leave my country, leave all the ppl who loves me, my family, my friends. and going to a country that nobody loves me. i was feeling very sad but i came back to work and want a fresh start this year. i knew it would b alot easier if i just go back to my country and move on. but i also think y cant i be strong and stay here. make effort to my job and keep myself happy like i was before i havent met my ex?
    now i wanna just say we are not alone. broke up is very casual things. and we r beautiful woman and has a good heart. i m sure things would b great if we accept wht happened and try to b open minded that something else would replace this hole sooner or later. do sth for ourselve happiness. dun let other person to affect us. focus on ourselves. the rest the god will b taken care of. ?

    #392182
    Suave

    Well the guy the was introduced to me is simply fabulous…..he appreciates me. I don’t have to work hard at this relationship…..he certainly has made me feel in more ways than one very special. Ladies….your knight in shining armor will be at your door step soon……I truly believe that now. There is someone out there that is waiting to meet you. Let the assholes that tortured you go…….they don’t deserve to be thought of…..move on and be happy on your own……believe me he will come along…..

    #392184
    Suave

    I stopped thinking about my ex….I am happy on my own…and booooom …. My friend called me and said my friend from work wants to meet you….I met him when I least expected. I didn’t expect for him and I to hit it off so well. I am sooooo happy…he is simply wonderful, calls me everyday and treats me special….

    #392210
    aj

    we just broke up and i felt betrayed. its been 5 daxys now and 3 days of NC! we’ve been together for 4.5 years. i still think of him everyday and i am tempted to txt him but i am stopping myself. i don’t know what to do?

    #392213
    Harley

    Suave…Great news.

    AJ. ..read all the posts here. ignore him. stay strong.at some stage he’ll be in touch. only then will you know if he wants another chance. I doubt it. just keep as busy as you can. do not text.it will only turn him off and make him run further. by not Contacting him you get time to work on yourself. see if the relationship really was as good as you thought.. and he wonders where the hell you are. win/win all round for you.

    #392255
    Suave

    AJ plzzzzzz whatever you do DO NC for at least 90 days……Harley is correct. It’s never the end he usually contacts first. You will regret it later if you contact him first. Take time away from the relationship. I know it’s hard because this was a 4 yr relationship and its difficult to wean off of it. Which yours was STOPPED cold turkey. But we all did it…..and we struggled thru it. Believe me….he will contact you, be patient. I don’t know why you broke up, but listen to Harley it will give you time to evaluate what went wrong…..if he does contact you, you decide if you want to respond or not. But make sure if you do ….you set your boundaries …you come first.

    #392256
    Suave

    Although it sounds like you felt betrayed…..wow….that sounds serious. Don’t put yourself in a position where you forgive your betrayal…..go back…..and it happens again. That’s what happened to me….I forgave and three months later we broke up again because of his lies and betrayal again…..this was a learning lesson for me a life lesson…but I’m done for good. Be very careful. NO CONTACT

    #392378
    aj

    thank you harley and suave. i am already reading this thread. before i finally pull the string i tried to work things up but he won’t cooperate. i decided to leave and walk away. he wasted 4 yrs of dverything and he don’t care. he build stories and lies but am alreay fed up.

    #392758
    Suave

    Good for you…..he sounds manipulative too. I’m glad you made that decision. Four years…. Wow! That is a long time. Keep up with your strength. You are stronger than he thinks. If he was a liar, he wasn’t worth it. He hasn’t changed, which means he will never change. Move on…….take care of your self, pamper yourself. Go do something for yourself that you haven’t done in a long time.

    #393087
    Lenore

    DD-Your mom is absolutely correct! That’s what I keep telling myself, “He doesn’t want you…why waste so much time and energy on someone who doesn’t want me?” It’s hard when I come up with excuses for him….he’s got too much going on in his life, he’s got too much past baggage that is painful, etc. But at the end of the day, that’s what it boils down to: HE DOESN’T WANT ME.

    I’m in “Operation Move the F**k On” and have two lunch dates this week. As hard as it is, I’m going to fake it, til I make it. I know my worth and I need to find someone who knows it as well. Yes, my heart is still with him but I’ve got to move on….if it is meant to be, it will be in time.

    It’s been a week since I texted him and I am looking forward to hitting day 90…

    #393447
    Banana

    Hi ladies
    Bf broke up with me on nye.
    We loved each other but every couple of months we would have arguments where I would want to call it off and break up with him because I felt like he didn’t appreciate me enough and I was putting in all the efforts to make plans etc. I made it easy for him. He likes playing video games all day and we hardly went on proper dates but we talked all the time on fb. I love him so much and I miss him. I officially started no contact 2 days after we broke up. And then I broke it 2.5weeks later texting I wanted my stuff back from his house and he said he would post it. And then 3 day after that I lost my mind and called him and it went to voice mail and I asked him to tell me that we had no future together so I could move on because when we broke up he said maybe we could give it another go in the future and I’ve been unable to let go because of that “maybe”… He didn’t reply to my voicemail and left it at that. So it’s been 5 day or so since I left him that message and am trying to start NC again. Blocked him on fb. Deleted everything. But I still think of him and I check my phone for messages etc… But nothing …I journal all my feelings an am seeing my psychologist just because I am quiet anxious and he was very laid back which made me insecure not because I was worried he would cheat on me but more so because he might have found me smothering and too clingy….I did lose myself when I was with him. I did nothing by myself just because I wanted to be with him. I felt fulfilled but it was tiring because my parents didn’t know that I was sleeping over at his house all the time. Having to live a double life is so hard… I don’t know what my hobbies are…trying to learn skate boarding and hiking and hanging out with friends and catching up over meals to keep me distracted…but I still miss him. He hasn’t ever contacted me since that day we broke up… I guess it is over… Just trying hard to accept it.

    #394067
    Suave

    This is your time now Banana…..take time for yourself. I know it is easier said than done. I kept breaking up with my boyfriend because he didn’t appreciate me and I wasn’t his priority. This went on for two years…then we broke up for one year and went back again…..guess what,..,,he had not changed. So in three months we got into an argument over him talking to his ex gf…..and I don’t like it so he finally broke up with me.,,.and I’m so happy he did…I learned the hard way…..if he doesn’t appreciate you and takes you for granted…it won’t work…no matter how hard you try. Don’t do what I did…,it will be a big mistake….if he really wanted to be with you…he would pursue you. There are many men out there that would love to be with you….,and meet your needs. Now, take care of yourself..have fun..,stay busy and DO NOT CONTACT him…..you are worth much more. I was introduced to this guy who is now my boyfriend….omg….he is a sweetheart…treats me so well. Now I know what a normal relationship should be like. Move on…..!!!

    #394328
    Banana

    Hey Suave.
    Starting NC again and it’s been a week. He will be at a party where I will be too. I don’t want to not go because I want to hang out with my friends at this bday party and I will see him but I don’t know how I will react when I see him. I feel like if I see him flirting it would kill me on the inside even if we aren’t dating because I can’t bear the site of it… I still will have feelings for him even though it’s a month away. I know it will come back if I see him. What should I do? I’m guilty of looking foward to seeing him because we wouldn’t have had contact for Atleast 5 weeks by then… I’m dumb enough to even believe that somehow I’ll get something for valentines day from him :(
    I’m a wreck. I’ve Cried less now. I feel like I know I need to move on but I don’t know…it’s a month away…

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