For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Thanks for your comment Harley :) Yea, I am trying to do that. If he ever texts I have decided to not reply anymore. I want him to feel that he lost me cause that’s the truth. He lost me indeed. I am tired of analyzing every single word he said or every single action he did even though they felt like love to me. It might have been a lie, so yea, I am trying to get there to the point where I won’t care anymore. So, I won’t react or act on him, just nothing, a total indifference while I move on. Thanks girls for being there and understanding. I love this forum <3

@ tt Yea, I know. It is hard to ignore a person you love. I know I have been there, that’s why I allowed him to string me along like this, cause I couldn’t help it. I was so much in love, I think I still am but there comes a point when you realize that something needs to be done. I know it is hard for you to take a step right now cause it really is, but I am sure you gonna make the right decision for yourself. Maybe I am not the right person to advise you since I am in such a messy situation myself, in fact I allowed this to happen to me, so I might not be the right person about this but I think that we all do have that voice inside us called “gut” that kinda tells us what we need to know, but most of the time we ignore since not everything our gut says to us likes us, not everything we hear from it likes us, so I think you know what I mean.

Imena, just take your own advice. he selfish and a cheater and you know you deserve so much better. go on a few dates, get attention from other guys… it will help you move on and not rely on anything from him anymore.

Imena, you know what makes you happy and he is just draining you and not being considerate. focus on something else!

i still havent text my ex back… i just dont know if i should give him the satisfaction. if i say that i dont hate him and that i’ll be fine, than he’ll be okay and on his merry way. i dont know what to do!

I went NC on my ex boyfriend (I ended things 1 month ago and reached out on text a week later looking for a piece of jewelry I thought may have been at his house – still can’t find it sadly) and then this past week he texted and called me asking to meet him for dinner. He broke the NC and then blew me off last night. I DID NOT reach out asking where he chose for us to meet and then realized he wasn’t going to keep our plans. I am back on NC with this jerk for eternity, I pray he leaves me alone for good now. Silence works best for me. He doesn’t deserve anything from me at this point.

Hi girls,

i was wondering if i could get more help with my issue above. so my ‘ex’ text me on Wed night saying “i really hope you dont hate me”

i responded Friday afternoon with the following:
me: no, i dont.
him: this is all my fault. you’re so awesome. i’m the one with the issue that messed all this up
me: i dont agree. i ruined every single night we were together. i’m sorry.
him: dont be sorry for having feelings and emotions.

… if you’ve been following my story (above)… we were together for about a year and he broke up with me. and then after about 6months he came back and wanted to start to causually date. then after about 3 months of that, i wanted a relationship and he wasnt ready… so i said we should just end things. he claimed that he made time for me and that i was important to him, but i just didnt feel that he did. i wanted more from him always. everytime we would go on dates, i was always upset that he didnt want to be in a relationship yet and blah blah (hence me saying that i ruined every night we were together).

need help. i want him back and i dont necessarily need a relaionship, but i want more time and attention from him and i want to know that this is going somewhere and not just keeping me on ‘hold’.

I’m nearly approaching a months of NC now. I’m still up and down, yesterday i wanted to punch his face in and today I just really want to talk to him and I miss the fun that we used to have. It feels weird having no idea what he’s doing…if he’s making a go of things with the ex faince or not?

I’ve completed my diving qualification so I guess that’s something to be proud of. I keep telling myself that being single is great. It has opened up a lot of doors for me socially and I could go anywhere or do anything with my career right now if I wanted to. I haven’t got anything tying me down.

I’m still chatting to guys online. I think a couple of them are getting close to asking me out, but no dates as of yet. I don’t feel that thrilled by any of them to be honest. maybe it’s still too soon.

I’m in an odd situation at the moment too as one of the guys from the diving school has taken a shine to me and won’t leave me alone. I don’t want to be awful to him as i’d like to join the diving club but he’s becoming a bit OTT. He messages me several times a day and calls me frequently now. He’s been telling me he thinks i’m gorgeous and that I have a great figure. It’s all very flattering but the problem is he’s old enough o be my Dad and as far as I am aware he is married! I really like him, but friends is as far as it goes for me. he doesn’t seem to want to give up though and is in touch with me all the time.

I’m usually quite positive but just feeling bit crappy at the mo. I’m sure it’ll pass. I just want to stop thinking about my ex. I don’t know if that’s going to happen though until I meet the next guy.

Thanks Harley,

How are things going for you now? X

I’m good. Still miss him but I know he’s not interested. Back to Germany in 9 days so shall see if he shows his face. ..I’ll live if he don’t.

Aww B…big hugs. Life sucks. Glad you fancy someone..I know exactly how you feel. .I miss intimacy too this week…must be something in the water !!!

The gist of it was that i’m glad you’re both doing well :) Hugs!!! We’ll get through this.

I love this quote… There are far greater things ahead than any we leave behind. I have it as a screensaver on my phone. :)

Hey, girls I need some help here. I told you my story (if you still remember it). This guy and I went NC and it lasted two weeks before he broke it and sent me a message, “Did you forget about me?” I didn’t reply at first then after awhile I did and from time to time we could be sweet sometimes till we went to the point when we got so close again. I didn’t want it though cause he is still with someone else but you know sometimes you just lose it, anyway he told me that we should be careful cause his situation has not changed yet and that he doesn’t want to hurt me cause if he does this time he will blame himself. I told him that I didn’t ask him to be mine by being sweet but if that bothered you then I am sorry for causing you to feel this way. He couldn’t help but text and text till he stopped doing it today. I don’t know what this all means. He says crap like “I know this is hard for both of us based on how much we love each other but our situation is still complex cause my situation has not changed yet”, then he is the one who initiates and texts all the time, even all day long if you reply. Can you help me with this? Does this mean that he is weak to make a decision or what? Does this mean he loves her more? Or that he is a total mess? I’m going crazy!

@ Harley Yea, I know he wants me and her. He is not choosing me cause I live miles and miles away so I cannot be as available to him as she is. On the other hand, he loves spending time talking and sharing with me. But still keeping it crazy like that.He’s such a mess. I don’t even know whether he really has feelings for one of us or not. He’s so selfish. Anyway, it’s just my head is a mess and I have the tendency to get lost in over-analyzing and over-thinking , but who wouldn’t considering how messy this is??

Thanks friend!!

I guess where I am today is that after the text (after 18 days), I had texted him so photos of a wine-tasting in his old neighborhood that he loved/lived for a decade there) as well as a couple pics of me (finally) looking good/happy and said in that text that we should do dinner, my treat, or watch this movie he had always wanted to see (we loved watching movies). He read the text, never replied. I got once again really hurt, cried, texted him two days “Please don’t ever contact me again.” He read that one immediately (faster reads than last few times I texted) and didn’t reply. Then out of rage, hurt, sadness, I texted him three days later saying I was going to be attending an event at his work place (he’s a diving instructor and they were having a drink and paint night–painting something underwater) that looks fun. Colleague of mine is a longtime diver and wanted to go. But after more soul digging last night, I cxl going (sent her an email), I’m just uncomfortable seeing my ex/forcing him to see me at his workplace. Truth is, I still would like a second chance and haven’t given him up completely inside me. So it’s not healthy/right for me to impose on him at his annual event as much as I’d like to see him (he’s refused to see me since the breakup, always says we’ll get together and seems to mean it because there’s a bond, but never does anything pro-active about it). He thinks I’m still going (next Saturday night is paint/drink event at the diveshop). Should I let him know I’m not going so he can feel more at ease (thinking he might be stressing, or uncomfy with knowing I’m going inside of himself) or should I just not say anything and he’ll see that I’m not there. I did send him a text on Thursday (today is Sunday) saying I was going with a colleague and was letting him know out of respect/courtesy so he wasn’t surprised and that I would be civil/nice so no worries, and wanted to give him a headsup since it’s his workplace livelihood. He read that text immediately and replied, OK thanks. What do you guys think I should do…. a) go? i don’t think i should, i would rather see him in person for even a casual friend talk then me pushing myself into his world. Would have been nice if he initiated wanting to see me as he has mentioned numerous time ‘we’ll get together and have a beer.’ b) Let him know I’m not going so he can ‘relax’ and not worry (don’t think i should be that kind to him since he never is anymore to me since breaking up, c) don’t say anything and let him figure it out why i no-showed. Advice?