For those who need help with NC and letting go.

I will let you know. H’s a tad older than I want but is trying to convince me I need a mature man ! He could be right. He’s easy and nice to talk to and he makes me laugh.. and cry.. and he wanted to talk to my niece………which is a good sign… to convince her it was not him that made me cry ! he says he’s NOT shy about expressing himself…………and is perfect !He’s confident and wants a relationship………..its just ME who is not ready ! BUT……….he deserves a chance.

Gosh………. rough news on the guy in OZ. Life sucks.

Murphys law………..II WILL have Mike and frank back in touch. I hope I am over Frank by the time he is in touch ! But… like yourself… already I think different……..he was putting NO effort in. but at least he did not string me along.

Well. …He rang and talked for over an hour. he’s a nice guy. but …He didn’t ask for a date or say he’d phone again…so…that’s the end of that.i don’t mind at all. It was just a nice nights distraction. He said he wants a relation but because of his kids and music…..He could only see the gf every so often!!!! think that sounds like Half a relationship to me ! funny how he thinks !

@ Harley Half a relationship?! Lol, yea that’s funny and it never works. You cannot be torn apart in halves. At least it was a distraction. We all need one from time to time. It’s just so hard sometimes when you are already somewhere enjoying a concert or something and he still is in your head. It doesn’t hurt but it’s still there, just can’t get out. Grrrr…these things just take so much time!!

*Harley! That was my predictive text! Sorry :)

Yep, throw all of your focus into the house Harley and I’m sure you’ll be grand. I had a good cry last night too, it helps.

Latest update – his profile picture is with her today so it confirms they are an item. Hard to believe three weeks ago he was saying “I can’t believe we’re not an item anymore, blah blah blah” Surprisingly it’s made me feel better rather than worse. How weird is that. I feel smug about it. Maybe i’m in denial and just can’t see it lasting or something, or maybe it’s a sign I can actually let go and stat moving on, could be a combination of the two. Either way it has kindof made me feel happy rather than sad and in a weird way, if he never got over her I am pleased for him! Goodness knows why I feel this way, it’s bonkers. Maybe i’ve had enough time to accept the pair of them. It’s really weird – when we were together I had a vivid dream about him getting back with her. I saw the two of them together and I remember being devastated but in the dream I knew I was going to be ok and that I was going to see and explore new things, I left all of my belongings on the side of the road and decided I was going to move abroad. Maybe that was the letting go phase and leaving the baggage behind and doing something new just for myself. As the dream has now come true I can have faith that the rest of it will come true too and that i’ll be more than ok and actually have an even better life than before.

This is how I feel in the moment right now though and we all know how emotions swing around i’m sure the tears and anger will be back again but maybe these moments are what shows real progress.

Yes……….it helps not to be bitter. Am glad you feeling better. Me too………long may it continue. I hope I am letting go.. I keep trying.

Piano man rang again, said he would ring later. He sent a pic………I don’t fancy him and am not interested, but he is fun and a distraction. He’s a property developer with stuff in Frankfurt ( typical reminders of Germany !) so maybe can plug him for house advice ! My FWB rang, good to hear from him………….it’s raining………….ALL the wrong men !

Yup…………… no relapses allowed. We’re too good for these shit guys. I CAN guarantee your guy will be back again,, he’s jumped back into shit with her and it will go pear-shaped again.

Mine, no doubt will contact in March……….when in Ireland looking for a ride !

AND……………we will laugh like crazy at them.

Wow this thread has really helped as I wipe away the tears I had shed before reading this… My ex and I broke up literally 4 days ago. It has been incredibly hard to not speak to him since we haven’t spent a day without talking to each other before this week. He left without even a goodbye after filling my head on Monday about how much he only wanted to be with me. Commitment freaked him out after a while and to even think about moving on freaks me out. I know it’s petty of me but I’m glad to see other women going through similar struggles of moving on.. I know eventually it will happen, but I just wanted to say thanks for the advice.

Well I had a helluva night out. My head is banging today! haha!

Still FB stalking. I’m terrible I know, now the worst is out there though I don’t feel particularly affected by it. He’s changed his picture back to one of him and his mates today so that picture of him and her was short lived as a profile photo. Almost makes me wonder whether it was done for a reaction but maybe i’m reading too much into things that aren’t there. I noticed that his mum and sister didn’t ‘like’ the photo but both liked my recent profile photo…again maybe over analysing but I know their thoughts on her.

Also the fair-weather mutual friend and her boyfriend deleted me off Facebook. Makes me laugh as they asked me to be god-mum to their baby. We supported each other while the guys were away on tour and cried down the phone etc when we missed them – when he tried to come back to me she must have known because she started speaking to me again. We arranged to go out and then when it didn’t work out with me and the ex she cancelled on me and didn’t speak to me since. Surprise, surprise she’s now friends with his ex/current gf. I think she just likes to be part of their little military gang. It shows he must have told everyone we were getting back together though so his behaviour must look bonkers to people. It was literally 8 weeks ago that he tried to get me back. I just don’t think you move forward that fast. Maybe he will move forward and stay with her, who knows. But like you say Harley, I just think it’s too soon for him to have worked through our brake up and any issues.

I guess i’m the one that’s better off as this poor girl (the ex – now gf) probably has no idea what has been going on or been said behind her back. She was liking his Facebook stays that said he was coming to my home town and he was actually coming to see me so she really must be clueless. At least I’m in a position where I can see right through him and see that this is not something I want or will accept in my life. A part of me will always care about him, obviously, but he’s flakey and liar. But most of all, I think he is very mixed up and confused. I can do without that.

I’ve been feeling to down these past few days. I neither know how to explain this, nor how to get through this. I thought we talked the last time a month ago, then i realized it’s been like three months. No wonder I felt like shit. We have been in a relationship,then we were friends for a very long time, and after three years we’ve been in a FWB relationship very short,just to hold him is the best feeling ever…After we’ve seen each other two times i cancelled it all because I just couldn’t pretend I don’t have any feelings. Short after that, i was shocked when I saw that he de-friended me.Probably because his friend was hitting on me, but I had no interest in him, so he maybe thought that I flirted with his friend. I think i’ve done more wrong than good,at least it seems to him like that, I mean, i try every-fucking-thing to make things right. And these days I just feel like writing a letter and giving him in the hallway. i also feel like adding him…i know that through it all he also feels the same, nobody gets me…

Winter.. it’s the season that reminds me of him. And the looks he gives me in the hallway are breaking me down. because lately he just tries to hard not even to look at me and when he doesn’t ,each and each time i’m loosing hope, more and more.
But I really want to get him back. What should I write in the letter and should i just in front of him like a crazy gal and give him the letter or leave it in his postbox? Because facebooking and texting is just a big not for me now after 4 years of knowing eachother and texting via facebook and texts. we have always been texting regularly, and then it’s been like a pause for a few weeks or days, because I was too busy, and i remember not hearing him for a few months, just out of nowhere and then it all started. He ,like, didn’t even want to speak with me, i think he got mad because we didn’t talk for that long then. Oh God yes! It’s because of that that he doesn’t talk to me anymore. Okay, now I just have to write a letter or WHAT SHOULD I DO? i wanted to send him a letter but in the letter should only be our song. It’s ‘The reason’ From hoobastank.
It’s just like KAT’s situation. It’s like ,even if we’re not talking, it’s like he still knows I haven’t let go of him and I kind of always expect him tocome around like always, i just have to stop doing it and start talking with him.

Haha,well yeah I’m a mess,that’s why I sound crazy. One day I don’t know what to do, the other I walk past him with a cold head. Yeah, i think too, the best thing is to DO NOTHING! Thank you very much :)

Ooh. ..hard one. I’d be tempted to go mia for a few days. ..then text…say you’ve been super busy
…ask him to phone you. It sounds like he IS coming g and going as he pleases and it’s a TEXT relationship. …which is crap. can you not tell him direct you want a relationship ????? I would.. .only one way to find out. At this moment in time. I see it back to square 1…..going nowhere .

hugs honey.

@ Harley Yea, most of the time it is a text relationship since we do live in different countries and cannot meet as much as we want. He does call but not as much as texting. I think you are right, I will go mia for some days and see what happens and tell him I’m super busy. To be honest,I am fine. It’s not that this is killing me.I have learned to go with the flow and whatever happens, happens cause I cannot control it and I don’t wanna assume or make predictions cause it hurts and they just lead you to nowhere. It’s just I know he will come back to me in a way or another, cause I am confident and i know it is great to be with me and he knows it, too. It’s just sometimes I think he is a little self-centered without even realizing it,I mean he does some things unintentionally but that affects others in a bad way. I know he doesn’t want to hurt me, it’s just he doesn’t think too much.